Bait My Clickhole

at this point i should just bump this thread every day and say "well boys, clickhole's done it again!"

― the jackal-snouted problem man (reddening), Thursday, May 14, 2015 2:07 AM (7 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

clickhole has more quality content today plz navigate yr web browser to clickhole.com

clickhole dot com has excellent content every day according to my facebook news feed

'dj this party' the first clickventure i got all good endings when playing

Hemingway/Fitzgerald thing kinda reminded me of something Lee & Herring would've done in the 90s, which is to say I loled

Wait, what did you just make me do

http://i.imgur.com/BBrYnCt.png

I am DJ Musik

DJ Musik, clap your hands! You made Leysa feel like a powerful woman, but that also means you do not own this club. Club Jenga might still belong to Leysa, and she might play lady tunes until she is the best lady in the world, but thanks to all your great tunes, she did not enslave you. Now, go wander the world with your soundboard, and make Prague love you!

I want to marry this joke:

Pete Docter: From there, we were off to the races. Someone said “A thing that goes on an adventure.” Someone else said “A Jewish monster called Mike.” Someone else said “The good family has superpowers, and they kill a normal man.”

I hadn't even explored the entire DJ Clickventure when I posted it

It's even better than I thought it was

I got Ronald Reagan's speech to congress after the space shuttle disaster, as part of my DJ Musik clickventure.

that was precisely what prompted me to come back to the thread

http://i.imgur.com/znp8tpo.png

i feel like it's been awhile since they've posted something so cheerfully vicious as that james taylor listicle.

http://www.clickhole.com/article/ready-feel-old-kids-born-2001-are-already-getting--2416

Pete Docter: From there, we were off to the races. Someone said “A thing that goes on an adventure.” Someone else said “A Jewish monster called Mike.” Someone else said “The good family has superpowers, and they kill a normal man.”

John Lasseter: I vividly remember the moment we came up with the idea for Ratatouille. Brad Bird suddenly started scribbling down the words “rat Frenchman” over and over on a napkin. He must have written it hundreds of times. We all started nodding, because we knew this idea was going to make us a billion dollars.

Almost barfed my breakfast!

Earlier today, Clickhole published one of its trademark “Find Out What [Three Celebrities] Have to Say” stories with the following quote from Cooper’s fictional NYU commencement speech:

“Graduation is a big deal—bigger than getting a hole-in-one while golfing. People might think you’re lying about the hole-in-one, but when you graduate, you get a diploma.”

Anderson CooperVerified account
‏@andersoncooper Anderson Cooper retweeted ClickHole
Ummm... @Clickhole, do u make this stuff up? I never said this quote and never spoke to the NYU class of 2015.

http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/while-i-agree-hitler-was-one-historys-greatest-mon-2421

https://40.media.tumblr.com/2705e340474bb3e0b42f4f8ff69daeb5/tumblr_nom94eCNoi1typl03o1_540.jpg

Healing Old Wounds: This Man Facebook Friended A Guy He Used To Bully And Invited Him To Like Sublime

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CFik7ECW0AANJ4B.jpg

ppl have a hard time understanding jokes

Salman Rushdie twitter almost sounds like an Onion article, but isn't.

its insane how terrible and dumb rushdie comes off on twitter

'And if you believe that, there's a bridge I'd like to sell you.'
- Salman Rushdie, on his favorite way to end phone calls.

trolls own a lot of bridges

http://chimg.onionstatic.com/1337/9/original/640.jpg

or it falls off.

idk i've been thinking about the orson welles war of the worlds broadcast a lot & i've concluded, people who see something that looks like news and think 'hey, that's some news,' are not total fucking idiots

"It's Halloween. He just said there's aliens in New Jersey. Would you think for just a moment?"

"BUT IF IT'S ON THE RADIO THAN IT HAS TO BE TRUE!"

I didn't see all the Rushdie reply, but I'm assuming he might have been replying to people who sent it to him saying "Is this for real?"

tbh Welles was really tricky in that radio had dramas and news but he was, to my knowledge, the first one to do a full-blown long-running fake news report. it was even possible people wouldn't be able to pick up another radio station to really confirm things.

tbh it said "and now another presentation by The Mercury Radio Theatre, HG Wells' etc etc" at the start, and the story about it panicking thousands of listeners was PR by Welles afterwards

thousands was... a bit of an exaggeration

It was timed such that people turning over from a particular radio show when that finished, would pick it up in the middle and think it for real.

I have it some place on cassette, the only real clue is an 'on the street' interview which is comedy, more.

I heard on Radio Lab that it had to do with the most popular radio show of that era having a crappy, unpopular singer on, making a bunch of people switch over in the middle, right where WotW was at it's most newsy.

Other fun stories in that show had to do with what had happened when the radio-program was redone in other parts of the world. Well, 'fun', in Bogota, I think it was, they burned down the studio, and people died.

“Every day, we inflate these balloons by whispering our worst secret into them,” he continues. “Then we let the balloons carry our bad secrets up to Mischief Man, who lives in Sky Hell. Once Mischief Man receives our bad secrets, He will send the Apple Maniac out of the woods to us. If the Apple Maniac tells us that he hates democracy, that means that Mischief Man has forgiven us for our bad secrets. But if the Apple Maniac tells us that he loves bugs, then that means that Mischief Man has not forgiven us, and that we are loathsome in the eyes of Mischief Man. I’m just wild about Mischief Man."

http://www.clickhole.com/article/6-disney-characters-everyone-had-hots-growing-2503

http://www.clickhole.com/video/dont-understand-bitcoin-man-will-mumble-explanatio-2537

http://www.clickhole.com/clickventure/you-arrive-america-2435#1,

“Your new name is Cthulhu Yachtsman. Here are your papers.”

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/how-many-these-smiths-songs-have-you-heard-2555

“Just once, I would like to make a game where Mario takes his shirt off, but I know that I can never do this because the date that the world will end is written on Mario’s chest.”

http://i.imgur.com/pMHLQrX.jpg

http://www.clickhole.com/article/16-ways-human-body-actually-unbelievable-2536

"14. Running out of sweat is the only way a human body can die."

Oh, look, it's 'Bruce' again aka Danish prime minister candidate Lars Løkke Rasmussen. I wonder if it's timed to coincide with the Danish election in a few weeks. That running joke freaks me out every time...

damn they're on fire today

different level

http://www.clickhole.com/article/incredible-listen-these-people-talk-about-worst-jo-2572

doris is the best, especially the way she imitates the talking baby

also

http://www.clickhole.com/article/6-gazebos-forever-sullied-blow-jobs-transpired-the-2492

thanks clickhole for allowing me to say "blowjob gazebo" to 2 different people today

Just came here to post that. Amazing.