start a victory garden and ration your IRRATIONALLY ANGRY feelings, part 3

Today would've been my grandmother's 96th birthday.

How I envied her today.

IA, being on hold version:

Music is fine but for god's sake, don't have some half-tuned radio station blaring static into my ear while I'm holding.
Also it's too loud. It's pretty much always too loud.
A recorded message is fine, too, but maybe have a recorded message that is longer than 15 seconds if you're planning to repeat it on a loop because holy shit I've been on hold for 16:37 minutes (thanks, phone with a timer on it! Also holy shit I've been on hold a long time) hearing the same 15 second loop of advertising for the business that I am already trying to reach and I'm about to run and jump in the river.
Don't tell me that if I don't want to hold, I can go to the internet. I KNOW I CAN GO TO THE INTERNET. I'm calling because I can't/don't want to go on the god damn internet.

Don't tell me that if I don't want to hold, I can go to the internet. I KNOW I CAN GO TO THE INTERNET. I'm calling because I can't/don't want to go on the god damn internet.

YES THIS

i have taken to shouting "i want to talk with a human" whenever it asks for any verbal information at all
sometimes it will take you directly to an agent! i have no patience for phone call sorting systems.

yeah! I do that, too

they can tell when you're about to break

I do that, too!

I also do the "I would like to speak with a human" thing (and I think once I just said "HUMAN").

What really makes me ia is the faux-conversational tone of the recorded responses in those call sorting dealies. "OK! Let me get you that information! Ah, here we are!"

"thank you for calling-" "AGENT"
"please dial one-" "AGENT AGENT AGENT AGENT"

My advice is don't speak to those things. Hit 0 0 0 0 0 - and if that doesn't work then be silent until they send you to a customer service rep.

yelling at machines is fun and it means that when i get to talk with a human, i am ready to be nice

i guess the thing that genuinely makes me ia is when the human behaves like a machine and keeps using my first name too much

Yeah, a lot of times if you don't push any buttons or do anything at all there'll be a long pause, like they're trying to wait you out, and then finally they'll say "Please stay on the line while we connect you with an agent" or whatever.

I love getting mail to myself "Or Current Resident". Makes me feel special.

That little convention is the source of the name of the band The Residents, so they say

re: humans: I start laughing when somebody thanks me after every single sentence I say. This is kind of a call center in India thing mostly.

Also, have you ever had a call where they wouldn't do what you want (adjust a charge, issue a refund, whatever) and so at the end you said, no, I'm not satisfied, but the operator has no other scripted way to end a call, except to ask you one more time if you are "satisfied with our customer service" and they don't know what to say next? It's as if the social contract has suddenly been torched and there's nowhere to go.

Duel

Customer Satisfaction Surveys At Dawn

I could watch:

- Arnold Schwarzenegger re-enacting a bunch of his movies
- Jimmy Kimmel and Jack Black re-enacting that shitty rock ballad video from the 90s
- Kristen Schaal and Mikal Cronin re-enacting "Torn" video from the 90s
- U2 "busking in a NYC subway"

Eff all of these.

My advice is don't speak to those things. Hit 0 0 0 0 0 - and if that doesn't work then be silent until they send you to a customer service rep.

Some companies' automated phone systems don't put up with shit like this - you either answer their questions the way want (and very possibly still never get to talk to a human) or else you get "I'm sorry you're experiencing difficulties. Please try your call again later," and then they hang up. The US Postal Service is the worst for this, but UPS, too, and some government agencies.

Gethuman.com

when jimmyjohns.com asks for your email address and starts giving you the OMG INVALID EMAIL ADDRESS red letter warning message after you enter one keystroke (cos there hasn't been an "@" sign added yet).

I KNOW LET ME FINISH IT JEEZUS

when you go to click in a search bar or w/e on a webpage and then right as you do that it all shifts down slightly & you end up clicking on a banner or a help link

hate hate deathray hate

if I search google for something on ilx, i.e. "site:ilxor.com/ILX something", it ruins my browser's autocomplete for "site new answers," but I can't retrain myself so easily

people from the southwest u.s. using "proper" to describe dance music they like.

is that where MC Hammer lives now?

fucking people on ILX who use "autistic" as a pejorative term. Serves me right for reading a Star Wars thread tbf.

Websites that only give you the parameters for creating a password after you've already input a password that doesn't pass muster. This happens ALL THE TIME anymore. I smash you all.

xp hey, don't blame us SW fans for Shakey

british people that use "proper" to describe dance music they like are annoying, too

there are about fifty things british people when describing dance (or other) music that makes me cringe

referring to artists as "the mighty <x>" is cringeworthy for me

the correct (American) way is to say "the mighty mighty..."

bosstones?

that's the impression that i get

no excuse for "proper" ever

I only believe music should be described in the hardwax store style

https://ofmustandmash.files.wordpress.com/2013/06/staustell-proper-job3.jpg

Proper groan here NV

*skanks*

Websites that only give you the parameters for creating a password after you've already input a password that doesn't pass muster.

Especially if, when it bounces it, it also BLANKS ALL THE FIELDS YOU JUST SPENT 10 MINS INPUTTING ARRGHHH.

xxp

i'm not proud

Local shop stopping selling milk in 2 litre bottles in favour of 3. Think its going to lead to wastage,living alone a 2 seems to last right. Also looks like the use by date has shortened. You'd think they'd keep the choice. So no longer got a 1 stop shop. Dang.

See, my IA comes from buying a gallon of milk that expires on May 31 - which seems like a really long time - and then going back the next week and buying a gallon of milk that expires on... May 31.

That's still a long time.

Seriously. Gonna start canning the stuff.

uht

(actually, that's not really a help here as it should be treated like real milk after opening)

TRying to make a shirt while doing other things, now looks like I've left a mistake in that should have been corrected before I put the collar on and I'm not sure I can get access without removing it again. Damn, was really thinking I'd get that finished without a lot of fuss later and start the next thing. Already feeling like it's taking too long to get things done.

Too bad you guys don't have milk in bags. We freeze 2 of the 3 pack and thaw when the first bag gets low!

http://i.imgur.com/6f85QvV.png

Look, I don't want to look a gift horse in the mouth but –

well $0.10 is a 10% savings when it comes to Banquet pot pies