shit that looks like an onion article but isn't

Stephen Hawking tells fans Zayn Malik could still be in a parallel One Direction

http://gu.com/p/47pth

http://thoughtcatalog.com/sarah-larson/2014/01/i-think-people-without-kids-have-empty-lives-and-im-not-sorry-about-it/

I Think People Without Kids Have Empty Lives And I’m Not Sorry About It
Sarah Larson
1764 Comments

lol

as a second article in this series i would like to see I Think People Without Spinning Light-Up Bowties Have Empty Lives And I’m Not Sorry About It because 1. it's true, 2. everyone in this instance has a choice about it, and 3. it is just a more compelling topic

I’m not saying you can’t have a happy life without kids. Of course you can. You can be happy making all kinds of choices, because people are adaptable and have a remarkable ability to make the best of things. You can also be happy as a racist, but that doesn’t make you an especially great person. I’m not saying that kid-free people are bad like being racist is bad. I’m simply illustrating the point that happiness does not equate to living a great life.

such a shame all her kids have empty lives

was thought catalog even still relevant in 2k14 let alone 2k15

shit that looks like a clickhole link but isn't:

http://www.lifehacker.co.uk/2015/04/28/video-shows-off-three-best-ways-roll-sleeves

a 5 minute(!) video showing you the best three ways to roll up your sleeves.

Fortune's report on $80,000 fashion-forward assault rifles

http://fortune.com/2015/04/28/ridiculously-expensive-guns/

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/sylvia-driskell-nebraska-woman-files-lawsuit-against-every-gay-person-in-the-world-10230379.html

I'm OK if we all chip in one penny and then have her settlement dumped down on her from above.

http://www.theguardian.com/sport/blog/2015/may/07/the-patriots-still-won-the-super-bowl-whether-tom-brady-is-a-or-not

Odd how the URL is missing the word 'cheat'. But still contains the is a or (which normally get stripped from 'readable' URLs)

Attorney: Spy chief had 'forgotten' about NSA program when he misled Congress

http://thehill.com/policy/technology/241508-spy-head-had-absolutely-forgotten-about-nsa-program

Florence Henderson Describes How Former NYC Mayor John Lindsay Gave Her Crabs

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/05/08/florence-henderson-crabs_n_7246404.html

Nannette Phillips Charity · Top Commenter
Well she's the one who wrote the book bragging about it.

idk how the Top Commenter appellation is derived but it always seems to deliver

29 Recipes Every Millennial Should Know

(http://www.brit.co/best-real-world-college-to-real-life-recipes/)

same site:

5 Things Every Girl Should Know Before Dyeing Her Hair Pastel

14 Unexpected Ways to Eat Bananas

lol whipped cream 'with only 3 ingredients'

http://www.stereogum.com/1801007/nyc-luxury-hotel-testing-accommodations-on-lenny-kravitz-before-opening/news/

http://i.imgur.com/azSYrD5.jpg

https://www.google.ca/search?q=max+pitch-slapped

jesus

http://www.dailydot.com/lol/techmeme-slambook/

oh nevermind that's all inside baseball

Wealthy Chinese man buys two gold Apple Watch Editions for dog, prompts bizarre controversy

Tuhao is a derogatory Chinese term that refers to people who are rich, but lack corresponding social graces. Were it around at the time, Americans might have used the word to refer to the Clampett family from the Beverly Hillbillies.

Yes, I think Americans are familiar with the concept, thanks.

But that said, this is an entertaining tag page: http://shanghaiist.com/tags/tuhao

Tuhao dude tries to win girl's heart via drone, she attacks it with a broom FTW.

http://i.imgur.com/7L59MQ8.jpg

http://www.jpost.com/Arab-Israeli-Conflict/Post-writer-attacked-at-Jerusalem-coexistence-hug-event-404423

http://www.slate.com/blogs/the_slatest/2015/05/31/jack_warner_arrested_ex_fifa_official_cites_onion_article_to_defend_himself.html

??

hoo boy

http://www.spokesman.com/stories/2015/jun/11/board-member-had-longstanding-doubts-about-truthfu/

These matters aside, unlike elsewhere in the world, Australia's black and brown coal resources are low-sulphur and hence pollution-free. In contrast to windfarms they do not require vast tracts of land and disfigure the natural environment. Nor do they impose the detrimental health effects from low frequency noise and infrasound that, according to the Senate Committee on Wind Turbines, appear to affect 10 to 15 per cent of the population.

From here: http://www.afr.com/opinion/columns/green-energy-generates-big-costs-for-little-gain-20150621-ghtluw

http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/history/2014/08/john_hancock_s_declaration_of_independence_signature_was_it_too_big.html

These Are 13 Of The Best Trading Floor Pranks Of All Time

http://www.dnainfo.com/chicago/20150713/downtown/chicago-moves-ban-gun-shaped-cellphone-cases

shit that looks like an onion article and is:
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CKDsDyyXAAAcBIQ.png

omg

http://www.rawstory.com/2015/07/nearly-40000-demand-south-carolina-remove-slave-memorial-because-it-shames-whites/

“The African American Monument depicts slave ships, mistreatment and words such as ‘segregation’ and ‘Jim Crow,'” the petition states. “This being the case, it is undeniable that this monument can and does serve to invoke in the white community feelings of shame, humiliation and offense, serving as a constant reminder of the dark history of slavery.”

http://www.texasmonthly.com/daily-post/almost-half-texas-believes-military-invasion-likely-coming-and-finally-conspiracy-crowd

sometimes im like "tx isn't so bad"

this isn't one of those times

http://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2015-07-22/these-superhumans-are-real-and-their-dna-could-be-worth-billions

A friend and I discussed on FB yesterday the fact that you could easily switch the text of these two articles and nothing would change. It's Poe's Law in action.

http://www.theonion.com/article/man-already-knows-everything-he-needs-to-know-abou-17990

http://www.rawstory.com/2015/07/michigan-town-blocks-muslim-mans-secular-scout-camp-over-fears-its-a-secret-isis-training-ground/

Was kind of briefly wondering if rawstory.com is even a real news site, since on the side panel there was also this story:

http://www.rawstory.com/2015/07/man-dons-knights-templar-costume-to-scare-away-muslims-from-new-york-military-recruiting-center/

Accompanied by his wife, the former Marine also brought along a bow and a quiver full of arrows, saying he doesn’t have a permit to carry a handgun.

Wyoming Man Found with 30 Eyeballs in His Anal Cavity : http://crazed.com/wyoming-man-eyeballs-in-cavity/

http://nymag.com/thecut/2015/07/womens-museum-becomes-womens-killer-museum.html?mid=twitter-share-thecut

https://www.yahoo.com/music/heres-1000-people-playing-the-foo-fighters-125469380086.html

Headline in Norwegian paper just now: "Prisoner escapes from Bastøy [prison island] on a surfboard"