Phrases you hate...

it's hard to feature ugly women in your ad campaign when science has proven that they are actually invisible
only beautiful real women show up in photographs, so they are the only ones who can be selected for ad campaigns

"adult beverage"

what are you – so afraid of your children that you can't say "wine" or "double vodka on the rocks"?

Seriously, I bet families that use the term "adult beverage" produce 275% more alcoholics when those kids grow up

Agreed.

I hear it mostly as a disclaimer, like "Yeah, I know this strawberry-lemonade flavored malt punch with tomato sauce added in LOOKS like it's a drink for kids, but no, it's an ADULT BEVERAGE."

This past weekend I found myself referring to "grown up soda" and luckily noticed and stopped myself because yeah. It's beer and your parents drink beer and that's fine. Calling it something cutesy just makes booze seem like this shameful thing and there's no shame in my game.

Related: when I was a server I had a regular customer who would come in with her daughter and whisperingly order white zin in a styrofoam cup with a lid which 1) gross and 2) the kid's 10. She knows.

it's hard to feature ugly women in your ad campaign when science has proven that they are actually invisible

I am dying, this is so true. My rule of thumb re: "real women" is if a person says to me "I am a woman" then I consider that person a "real woman"

I don't understand wine in a styrofoam cup unless you're sneakily taking it to go.

Related: when I was a server I had a regular customer who would come in with her daughter and whisperingly order white zin in a styrofoam cup with a lid which 1) gross and 2) the kid's 10. She knows.

The best way to avoid raising alcoholics is to put a bottle of wine on the dinner table every night. Younger ones won't want it and when they're old enough to like it, they won't think of it as any big deal.

She wanted the wine in a cup because she didn't want her daughter to see her drinking wine. In this case, I suspect the mom is the one with the drinking problem (not just because of the cup, but also because she was a regular so I was pretty familiar with her habits).

always put your beverage in a brown paper bag, that way children do not know what you are consuming

Josefa otm.

not going to dbl check to see if it has already been mentioned but beach body makes me want to gag

Ohhh, I thought she was ordering for her daughter.

LOL no, for herself. I would not serve a 10 year old wine, even in the lawless frontier of a North Carolina redneck bar.

I've only heard "adult beverages" from a few coworkers and 1 boss when inviting people out for cocktails. Didn't even realize it was a euphemism used in front of kids.

Related: when I was a server I had a regular customer who would come in with her daughter and whisperingly order white zin in a styrofoam cup with a lid which 1) gross and 2) the kid's 10. She knows.

I am pretty sure I waited on this same woman at a different restaurant before I ever met you. Same order, had a kid, and my restaurant was a couple miles from where you worked.

I've only heard "adult beverages" from a few coworkers and 1 boss when inviting people out for cocktails

Even worse. You go ahead and have your fucking adult beverages, I'm going out for drinks.

I am pretty sure I waited on this same woman at a different restaurant before I ever met you. Same order, had a kid, and my restaurant was a couple miles from where you worked.

Ha! Which restaurant? The Italian one? But yeah I have to believe it was the same woman or else ordering white zin in a styrofoam with ice in restaurants is a "thing" and I can't live in that world.

It was a double pour of white zin IIRC. Yes, the Italian place.

Getting frustrated by a few people recently who've taken to saying 'I'm the kind of person who...' or 'I'm more of a (blank) kind of person...' - as if they're this extra-special individual who is defined by which activities they do and do not do.
I get it, you're an adult and you don't have to like everything or participate in something you don't want to, but part of being an adult is also about being open to different things and not worrying about how that defines you. Saying you're 'not that kind of person' comes across as picky and narcissistic. Sometimes it's just fine to get involved with things that go against your carefully-crafted personality.

also a simple "no thanks" will do

"I'm the kind of person who..."

Whenever anybody says that, I just think "Show, don't tell."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZlxvn_jWgM

When I was a waitress, if someone ordered white zin (usually with a well-done steak), that meant I wasn't getting a tip.

ewwww

Haha, reminds me of this that was just on Jezebel's "Astoundingly Stupid Restaurant Customers":

My husband was waiting tables and one of “those guys” comes in and is acting like he’s just the hottest guy in the world for his date. It seemed like a first or early date, and the date seemed distinctly unimpressed with his attempts to impress her. He asked for a wine list — my husband said, “We don’t have a wine list. We have Chablis, White Zinfandel, and Merlot.” (For the record, this was a mid-priced Mexican restaurant. The wine came in gallon jugs.) The guy ordered White Zinfandel, “and the lady will have the same.”

My husband ran the wine out then went on to take another order. As he was walking past their table to get back to the wait station, That Guy stopped him: “Sir! This wine is PINK. I ordered WHITE Zinfandel!” This was before the age of smart phones and instant internet access so Husband was not able to convince That Guy that he was indeed served White Zin—he even brought out the jug and poured a glass in front of the couple. That Guy said it must be incorrectly bottled.

My husband brought him a glass of Chablis; That Guy takes a sip and says, “THANK you. Now THAT’S White Zinfandel.”

No offense, but just recently "white zin"

Those are great.

"the very nice, very ladies-who-lunch type woman who ordered a glass of pinot gris as 'peanut-grease'"

And so it shall be for ever and ever amen

It's too hard to spell zinfandel.

I mean maybe you have lots and lots of free time but I'm busy and important and can't be bothered typing all those extra letters.

http://banmilleronbusiness.com/blog/2011-05-09/wine-mom

According to a lawsuit filed last week in San Francisco two wineries are at odds over the use of the word “mommy.” California based Clos Lachance Wines wants the court to declare that its “Mommyjuice” doesn’t violate the trademark of “Mommy’s Time Out.” A different wine that is produced and distributed by a winery in New Jersey.

There is not a wine called "mommyjuice"

http://mommyjuicewines.com/

Thank you for visiting MommyJuice Wines! Unfortunately we are no longer selling wine under the MommyJuice Brand but we urge you to visit our parent winery, Clos LaChance Wines, located in San Martin, CA. Same great quality wines!

:-(

functional alcoholism is the best kind of alcoholism!

there's still

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2011/04/21/article-1379397-0BBA614000000578-473_224x423.jpg

Better than non-functional alcoholism. xp

exactly

I never thought I'd hate any phrase...but "run the gamut" is starting to get on my nerves, especially when its use is not immediately followed by specifics in the same sentence; e.g., "It runs the gamut." (FULL STOP.)

"That's just semantics."

Yes. I am discussing the actual meaning of the words you just misused, because you've expressed yourself so poorly I cannot construe what the fuck you are driving at.

'dead to rights'

idk why i hate this phrase, i just do. it makes me grit my teeth.

I kind of like "dead to rights" because I can't imagine anyone other than Yosemite Sam using it

"I hope my email finds you well"

it got to my inbox, if that's what you mean

Uergh yeah, I hate that.

"I hope my unsolicited email finds you in a good enough mood to spend money with my company."

No, it never, ever does.

"I hope my e-mail does a good job finding you"

I've always wondered about that phrase -- does it date back to a time when you actually couldn't be reasonably certain a message would reach its recipient? Or is it more like "I hope you are well when you receive this."

the latter!

Or is it more like "I hope you are well when you receive this."

i always thought it was this.

Yeah I thought that was more likely as well. Still a little pompous sounding I guess.

"be a part of" used to mean "give me money for my project"