Worst TV adverts of the moment

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oh the 'can hate be good?' song makes me wish i never had ears.

hi dere dead inside

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 09:33 (nineteen years ago)

you like that song!?

― Roughage Crew (Enrique), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 09:34 (nineteen years ago)

Michael Owen running through Asda to collect a curry.

Does he get as far as the fresh veg, then collapse holding his leg and crawl into the potatoes till the physio turns up?

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 09:36 (nineteen years ago)

Cleverest advert of the moment: the Food Standards Agency one about barbecues with sausages sizzling and "When Will I See You Again?" on the soundtrack. "Sooner than you think if you don't cook them properly," flashes the caption. Quite good, that one.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 09:38 (nineteen years ago)

Michael Owen running through Asda to collect a curry.

He appears in the advert even tho he hasn't collected a curry all year. Then he passes an Argentinian customer and falls over.

― ¡Vamos a matar, Dadaismus! (Dada), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 09:43 (nineteen years ago)

A grillion grillion worlds of OTM re: "wax virginity", with the bird who used to be on Hollyoaks but SORRY LOVE you're a brunette so it's off to screeching hen-night esque hellholes for you where you get attacked by Ming-Ra with her waxing strips and a bunch of chanting friends who then wax your ALREADY BARE LEGS FFS and "oooh it didn't hurt at all" - yes that's probably cos you've already had 2138472374 suggestively named cocktails and are anaestheticised to all feelings both physical and emotional.

The REAL worst thing is that I still have to buy them because the own brand ones are even WORSE! Urgh!!

― Bhumibol Adulyadej (Lucretia My Reflection), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 09:53 (nineteen years ago)

I am irritated by, but also quite fond of them, in a pitying way, of the really obvious pre-op "ladies" on the Activia ads who keep saying they're "bloated". Ghost symptons mate. I mean COME ON one of them even wears the most obvious CHOKER in the world!

Is anyone ever actually "bloated"? We were discussing this in the park the other day. Doesn't it just mean "full"? Really? Or over-sensitivity to fat at emotional times of the month?

― Bhumibol Adulyadej (Lucretia My Reflection), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 09:59 (nineteen years ago)

Haha the US Activia ads are silly too! Although they appear to have women who were born that way. With "front bottoms" and everything.

― Bhumibol Adulyadej (Lucretia My Reflection), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 10:02 (nineteen years ago)

"Some people think the internet is a bad thing..."

... whereas I think your advertising campaign is shit thing

― ¡Vamos a matar, Dadaismus! (Dada), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 10:05 (nineteen years ago)

Oh yeah and with AOL wireless broadband is the same price as regular broadband. WTF? Their whole shtick is to make confused people even more confused, then present thim with the solution to a non-existent problem. Wankers.

― beanz (beanz), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 10:13 (nineteen years ago)

Halifax.
Big Brovaz.
That is all.

― Matt (Matt), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 10:21 (nineteen years ago)

"They're Gonna Taste Great! They're Gonna Taste Great!"

and still, those AA adverts. 1.) I think it would be pretty creepy to be stranded in the middle of nowhere while an army of flourscent-jacketed mechanics descend upon me and 2.) How inept are they if it takes that many to actually fix the damn car?

― The Ultimate Conclusion (lokar), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 10:32 (nineteen years ago)

How fucking homoerotic is that Coke Zero advert?

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 14 July 2006 19:03 (nineteen years ago)

Coke Zero tastes like someone has put toothpaste in an ordinary can of Coke.... avoid!!

There's one horrific ad where a cat is walking around a bath-tub with an irritating Yorkshire bumpkin voiceover blaring stuff like "Oscar lahks to play around me bath! And ya just gotta laugh, when he sniffs round that plug'ole!". Ugh.

And also "It's better to get Curanail than be a Criminail!". Words fail me.

― JTS (JTS), Sunday, 16 July 2006 01:11 (nineteen years ago)

the Ford commercials with the old man who won american idols

the anti-smoking ads they run here in NY with the tracheotomy guy.

― Jimmy Mod: NOIZE BOARD GRIL COMPARISON ANALYST (The Famous Jimmy Mod), Sunday, 16 July 2006 02:06 (nineteen years ago)

Fuck the Esure mouse with a great big rusty pole.

― chap who would dare to start Raaatpackin (chap), Sunday, 16 July 2006 11:53 (nineteen years ago)

“When the doctor first told me…” - At the risk of sounding like an insensitive asshole, I cant fucking stand those ‘Exclusive Kylie Interview’ ads they have been running constantly on the sky channels. Ok, it sucks that you got cancer and everything but do I really want to hear you vent about it before, during and after every Simpsons episode? What makes them worse is that fucking woman interviewer trying to put on a face of careful consideration and understanding, complete with thoughtful head tilt, when really she just comes across as gormless moron who isn’t really listening. Actually, I don’t blame her.

Oh yeah and ‘you think you look the business, she thinks you look like a cocksucker. REACT.’ Fuck off.

― Mark Lane (bob2), Monday, 17 July 2006 01:11 (nineteen years ago)

tracheotomy guy pisses me off so much

xpost

― nervous (cochere), Monday, 17 July 2006 01:35 (nineteen years ago)

the anti-smoking ads they run here in NY with the tracheotomy guy.

OH GOD. We have one like that down here. It is a woman with--I guess it is a tracheotomy, it is really just a plug for the hole in her neck--and she talks about smoking and then TAKES OUT THE PLUG and talks through her scary neck hole and I have to change the channel every time it comes on because it freaks me out so much. :ccc I WILL NEVER SMOKE AGAIN.

― Jessie the Monster (scarymonsterrr), Monday, 17 July 2006 01:44 (nineteen years ago)

one month passes...

Impossibly bright voice: "Everything in the world has a pulse...and now... so does a toothbrush!!!"

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... *looks round*... uhhhhhhhhhhh ... exsqueeze me?

― dud Hab 'C' dEva (Dada), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 08:13 (nineteen years ago)

not because it's that bad but because it's been going for years: the one with the garage rock s/t where the cars play hide-and-seek.

also, obviously: 'the toast you never butter, the thread you never pwn...'

― Bashment Jakes (Enrique), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 08:17 (nineteen years ago)

that Jennifer Saunders Barclaycard one. FUCK. OFF.

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 08:25 (nineteen years ago)

fuckin a.

― Bashment Jakes (Enrique), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 08:28 (nineteen years ago)

why isn't she in a hopsital with that schizophrenic behaviour?

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 08:30 (nineteen years ago)

the pc world advert where the students and the sales person are discussing dual core processors.

"being students i bet you're not used to doing two things at once are you"

also the sales person advises that dual core can help them 'upload' music and 'download' email faster (at the same time) - i thought this would be more based on how quick their internet connection was?

― Ste (Fuzzy), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 08:31 (nineteen years ago)

I hate that one for some fucking toothpaste or other? Or for dentures? Something to do with your teeth anyway? The one with the blonde woman? Who is supposed to be a company director or something? But, of course, she's an actress? And she talks like this? Where everything she says is a question? Even when it isn't? I think she's Irish? Or South African? Or something?

― dud Hab 'C' dEva (Dada), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 08:32 (nineteen years ago)

'downloading emails' lol

― Bashment Jakes (Enrique), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 08:34 (nineteen years ago)

sorry i meant the other way around

― Ste (Fuzzy), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 08:42 (nineteen years ago)

but it doesn't make any difference

― Ste (Fuzzy), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 08:43 (nineteen years ago)

no i mean i think it is 'd/l emails' on the ad, and lol @ that.

― Bashment Jakes (Enrique), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 08:47 (nineteen years ago)

I haven't seen any of these ads!

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 08:48 (nineteen years ago)

humax, all too humax.

― Bashment Jakes (Enrique), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 08:50 (nineteen years ago)

That's probably it! I am draining the advertising revenue lifeblood of commercial television. Oh dear. I feel guilty now.

― Alba (Alba), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 08:52 (nineteen years ago)

Can't remember what it's for (anti-pong, possibly) but there's some businesswoman going about her day with SUPERHUMAN POWERS, such as making said product crash through walls, blowing up her treadmill by running too fast etc.

Bugs me most of all because they've popped in a shot of Canary Wharf outside her office window, but when she blows up the treadmill it clearly has a two-pin plug and the Underground train she crashes through the ground into looks more like the sort of thing you find in the States on or on the continent. Certainly not a Tube.

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 09:17 (nineteen years ago)

The renaissance of Vauxhall's Zafira ad with the two "little old men" kids is starting to really hurt my brane. It's bad enough that it's on at all times of the day and night, but the follow-up where they're in the showroom and the shorter kids turns to his pal/brother and says "ahh, look at 'er eyes light up!" gives me the willies. Immensely irritating in itself but he then gives him a sideways glance that makes his pudgy face more terrifying than The Omen.

Konal OTM regarding Saunders too: "Get your own pop-ups!".

― Bill A (Bill A), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 10:32 (nineteen years ago)

i like that zafira ad!

― Ste (Fuzzy), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 11:59 (nineteen years ago)

That Saunders ad is one of the reasons I gave up watching television. The plotline on EastEnders where Dawn poses as Ian's wife is the other one.

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 20:08 (nineteen years ago)

The one where the old man has his wife's tiny little false teeth in. Very disturbing.

― Bidfurd (Bidfurd), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 20:37 (nineteen years ago)

The new Gilette Fusion advert falls into the 'so outrageously bad it's pretty good, but cynically and knowingly so, so in fact it's just plain awful' category. OTT is all well and good, but something as flagrantly knowing as this has no place on our screens.

― Scourage (Haberdager), Wednesday, 23 August 2006 20:42 (nineteen years ago)

The Tango one with people's heads cut out of paper and stuck onto smaller bodies and all wacky shit goes on. It freaks me out and doesn't make me want to drink Tango.

― wogan lenin (dog latin), Thursday, 24 August 2006 10:31 (nineteen years ago)

Lynx are up to their usual shenanigans.

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Thursday, 24 August 2006 10:33 (nineteen years ago)

not because it's that bad but because it's been going for years: the one with the garage rock s/t where the cars play hide-and-seek.
-- Bashment Jakes (miltonpinsk...) (webmail), Yesterday 9:17 AM. (later) (link)

"HEY HEY HEY HEY!!!! yeah, I know.. yeah, I know.. yeah, I know.. "

(ah)

― mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 24 August 2006 10:34 (nineteen years ago)

also the sales person advises that dual core can help them 'upload' music

what, and BREAK THE LAW?

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Thursday, 24 August 2006 20:13 (nineteen years ago)

I can't hate the hide and seek cars cos it always warms my heart to see Mark E. making beer money.

― Pier Paolo Semolina (noodle vague), Thursday, 24 August 2006 21:59 (nineteen years ago)

the one where that bitch with the kid is having a slow day and she decides to buy a Hummer because it makes her feel tough, or at least that's what i get from it.

― gear (gear), Thursday, 24 August 2006 22:45 (nineteen years ago)

I can't hate the hide and seek cars cos it always warms my heart to see Mark E. making beer money.
-- Pier Paolo Semolina (noodle_vagu...), August 24th, 2006.

what the fuck?

that's the fall?

i assumed it was an 03-nu-garage band!

― Bashment Jakes (Enrique), Friday, 25 August 2006 07:37 (nineteen years ago)

Not strictly an advert, but MTV keep running a trail where they describe Kasabian as "legendary".

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Friday, 25 August 2006 09:41 (nineteen years ago)

What about that one for a wart treatment (ha ha, a wart treatment, can you believe it?) called, and I may be wrong here but I'm sure this is correct, WARTNERS! The one where this drippy little twerp, who deserves to have his arse kicked every day of his life, is bemoaning the miserable life he had to lead before HIS MUM discovered this Wartners muck and applied it to liberally to his sorry ass (and other areas) - what 14 year old goes about beaming with joy about his mummy treating his friggin' warts?!??!

― dud Hab 'C' dEva (Dada), Friday, 25 August 2006 09:50 (nineteen years ago)

that's the fall?
i assumed it was an 03-nu-garage band!

-- Bashment Jakes (miltonpinsk...) (webmail), Today 8:37 AM. (later) (link)

Track is Touch Sensitive. The one about going behind a tree for a pee, etc.

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 25 August 2006 09:55 (nineteen years ago)

what channels do you watch!!!???

xpost

― animal bitrate (Enrique), Friday, 25 August 2006 09:55 (nineteen years ago)

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