Bait My Clickhole

Fuck this. Resign from office. →

Holy shit. The congress thing is the greatest internet game since Frog Fractions.

This decision was definitely a gamble, and it does not pay off. You are immediately arrested, and are later sentenced to death by being strapped to the bridge you fought so hard for while it is destroyed by detonation. Hundreds of thousands of people line the river to applaud your fiery death and poke your charred remains with a stick.

Your congressional district is banned from having a congressperson for 1,000 years, so everyone leaves and nature slowly reclaims it. In 400 years’ time, it becomes a sanctuary for rare birds.

http://www.clickhole.com/video/we-didnt-have-access-gun-or-slow-motion-camera-so--820

yessss this clickventure, the bit after 'kill her' probably the best part so far

http://i.imgur.com/guUVZAW.png

You approach the Massachusetts representative, and he agrees to support your bill! He only asks in return that $100 million is added to fund research on how to get the city of Boston to float four inches above the ground and make it so “Lightning Crashes” by Live plays on an infinite loop from speakers so loud no Bostonian can ever escape it, even if they trap themselves in the thickest bank vault.

"Who are the original disruptors? Birds. They saw life on land and flipped the script. That’s why I require my employees to conduct all business in bird languages."

http://i.imgur.com/68C3HWS.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/s5FgMn0.jpg

You think you get another shot after choosing to kill another human being? That’s abhorrent. You get no more chances to be a vile piece of dirt. Please do NOT reload the page to play again. Instead, go immediately to your nearest police station and ask to be put in jail, where you belong.

So, apparently, you didn’t go to prison as instructed. Luckily, by pressing that second fake Checkpoint button, your IP address has been logged and will be submitted to the NSA immediately. God knows what those guys will do to you.

These are all fake Checkpoint buttons. You have been banned from this game because you’re an insane criminal. Go bother some other website.

http://www.clickhole.com/article/disney-fans-rejoice-newly-discovered-letters-walt--2254?

http://www.clickhole.com/article/latest-attack-isis-just-changed-its-name-google-2226

― silverfish, Monday, April 13, 2015 4:08 PM (1 week ago)

sometimes i don't know what the difference is between a clickhole piece and a regular onion piece

Its like Morecambe and Wise doing the same joke as Cannon and Ball.

WOW YES! HAM ESCALATOR

http://www.clickhole.com/article/cool-high-school-senior-without-prom-date-asked-ka-2330

also amazing

can't watch at work, does he specify method of death?

he gives options

I am a bad person who assumes smothering is on the list

http://www.clickhole.com/article/oral-history-mad-men-2329

amazing

lol

Christina Hendricks: To me, Mad Men is about a group of men and women who work in advertising in the 1960s and run into various problems.

Christina Hendricks (Joan Holloway): Matt was always telling the actors secrets about their characters. One day, in the early stages of filming the first season, Matt took me aside and told me that, in the Mad Men universe, Joan would eventually die by getting eaten by a shark in the year 2131, when she is 200 years old. He also told me that Joan knew that this was how she was going to die, and that she didn’t care.

Matthew Weiner: Joan knows that a shark is going to eat her on her 200th birthday, and it doesn’t bother her at all. Every evening, she gets a phone call from a wizard in the middle of the night, and the wizard says, “A shark will swallow you when you are ancient,” and Joan always says, “So fucking what? I can’t wait.” The reason why Joan is destined to live until she is 200 years old is because her father accidentally ran over the wizard in his car, so the wizard put a curse on his daughter. This backstory informs every aspect of Joan’s character, even though it’s only hinted at a few times over the course of the show.

John Slattery: When Jon Hamm says the word “Yowza!” his voice gets extremely low-pitched, like a dragon is talking.

It’s so easy to steal a man’s name after he explodes. A baby could do it. A dead dog could do it. Right now, somewhere in the world, a dead dog is probably saying, “I am the man who just exploded,” and the U.S. Army is probably nodding and saying, “Yes, you are. Have some trophies.”

I really lost it with the description of Broderick Names Them Roderick.

this show would have been so much better than the actual Mad Men

http://www.clickhole.com/splitpic/pants-these-nerds-2326

I really lost it with the description of Broderick Names Them Roderick.

Is this the first time Clickhole has mentioned Matthew Broderick without referencing the fact that he killed two people?

ha probably

Matthew Weiner: What a goddamned nightmare. All of the actors were such goddamned nightmares. They were the best cast I’ve ever worked with, but that’s only because every other actor in the world is even worse. There are no good actors on earth. The only good actor ever was Orson Welles, and my wife and I murdered him.

Holy shit @ the Mad Men piece.

I am Hamm

Hamm I Am

Don Draper exploded and I took his trophies

http://www.clickhole.com/article/awesome-lucky-school-got-two-proms-2287

overlooked this one yesterday:

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/how-much-jockey-slang-do-you-know-2280

http://i.gyazo.com/dc55ab9d49c0986a7ebd8bb6e713d4f0.png

poor ormul :(

revisiting some classics from last year

“Before that, everyone on the project understood it was set in Kansas—certainly a very strange part of Kansas, but Kansas nonetheless”

http://www.clickhole.com/article/teenage-girl-was-kicked-out-prom-just-wearing-shor-2293

looooolll http://www.clickhole.com/video/relax-beautiful-woman-you-see-thumbnail-will-show--2365

lolll

http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/long-road-top-how-bursting-various-boardrooms-and--2308 stuck laughing at the headline cuz it's such a great image

http://i.imgur.com/npiZwhP.png

yessss

i'm not even gonna quote anything from that Radiohead thing cuz there is way too much to quote. end up posting the whole thing here.

Thom Yorke: From the beginning, my goal was to make an album that would get us all sent to jail for the rest of our lives.

its not quite as great as the mad men one but i like that they're adding more formats to their arsenal

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