rolling new food laboratory inventions for american chain restaurants thread

shit, wrong thread

tomato tomato

http://detroit.cbslocal.com/2015/02/18/little-caesars-to-introduce-pizza-wrapped-in-3-5-feet-of-bacon/

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/02/26/business/the-chicken-at-kfc-is-ok-but-the-cups-are-delicious.html

http://i.imgur.com/5UoCejX.jpg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tx_lNvH-UUA

can't imagine that being good, at all. aside from racing your way through your drink, out of fear that otherwise the cup will fail and send hot liquid gushing down your sleeve, there's the whole thing of wanting to have something left to sip on between bites of one's sugar wafer cylinder. the stress of negotiating that alone would be a reason to avoid this product. but i guess most importantly would be that my coffee is already my little sugary thing in the morning and i don't need another one. i guess kfc doesn't sell donuts though so maybe they can pick up business this way.

http://www.foodbeast.com/news/tacobell-capn-crunch-donut-holes/

http://cdn.foodbeast.com/content/uploads/2015/02/TB-Capn-Ooze-01.jpg

Finally, a reason to go to Bakersfield!!! Other than meth and Mentors shows.

https://medium.com/@atifatif/mcdonalds-showcasing-digital-chops-at-sxsw-2015-a7e9b4760de7

As a business, we’re always putting our emphasis on the customer, and want to improve the SXSW experience for everyone. We’re planning to showcase how we’re using digital to enhance the consumer experience, and naturally add true value and reduce the inherent frictions for attendees that inevitably occur because of the event’s sheer size. The McDonald’s Lounge will feature our McCafé coffee brand, along with comfortable couches, Wi-Fi, charging stations and televisions streaming various sessions and events, and will be home to salon sessions, panels and hackathons. We’re focused on providing consumer convenience, including a “Fry-Fi” food truck offering attendees free Wi-Fi and McDonald’s World Famous Fries.

finally

What if your whole experience with McDonald’s was customized just for you? Imagine walking into the restaurant, the crew immediately recognizing who you are, knowing your favorite order and charging your account – without needing to open your wallet.

Jesus Christ, World. Stop trying to do this.

the dystopia of false community

welcome to pplains-donalds
we have your sriracha cheese curd fries & salted caramel moolatte shake waiting for you

WE'VE BEEN EXPECTING YOU MR PLAINS

Jesus Christ, World. Stop trying to do this.

my new coffeeshop has already figured out my order and now they start it when they see me come in and god dammit can i just order my damn coffee myself and have a standard anonymous service experience

i stopped going to an otherwise good new place because they do this

http://i.imgur.com/Yjeo9h7.jpg

Sometimes you wanna go where nobody knows your name.

i hate it, i usually change places when they know me

i love that the people at my place know my name but i would be put out if they thought they knew my order, and would haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate it if a computer did it. though, if it was that kind of place i probably wouldn't be there in the first place.

Jesus Christ, World. STOP TRYING TO DO THIS.

― me, now (now)

Y'all are crazy. I hope it gets to the point where a robot recognizes me when I walk in and they automatically give me a nutrient pill. Then 5 years later I want to print said nutrient pill at home instead.

lol at 龜's pic from one of my favorite films

my friend is a very personable guy these days and will talk at length to the wait staff at places we go to for lunch, and I feel like kind of a dick because my impulses fall partially into the "I don't want to be a known regular" column with a little splash of "I am the dick who treats people like anonymous food-serving robots" guilt

can't wait for the big reveal where my friend finds out they treat him like an anonymous robot customer, and the reason they remember topics of past conversation was that it was recorded in a computer

lol

i don't see the problem with treating people like anonymous food-serving robots as long as you're respectful and polite

I don't mind going to the local pizza joint and the server asking if I want a pint of the usual. But walking into a fucking McDonald's and the cashier saying, "Good morning, Mr. Plans! Looking for another little girl's Happy Meal (based on your previous order?)" is not something I want to deal with.

And I want to pay with money or by offering a debit/credit card of some sort. Don't just lift the shit out of my pocket from thin air.

i don't see the problem with treating people like anonymous food-serving robots as long as you're respectful and polite

Maybe this is long-deserved revenge on customers who go "Well there, *looks at nametag* - 'Somer', I'll have one of your finest chocolate milkshakes please."

you think that's bad, wait until they start offering new menu items they've extrapolated you might want based on past data

xp it is def preferable to the tude I would get from the fellas at B4rt's car store.

Kind of wonder if the edible coffee cups also contain drinkable coffee

http://www.businesswire.com/news/home/20150316005153/en/Chicken-Charge-BURGER-KING%C2%AE-Restaurants#.VQhOFxDF88Z

Starting today, Gloria, the unbiased bird, will make that tough call. She is going on the national Random Gloria tour in her custom-designed coop to determine if Chicken Fries will be available at certain BURGER KING® restaurants. Kicking off in the New York area, she will make her way across the nation, stopping at select locations with bursting contingencies of Chicken Fries fans.

Chicken Fries enthusiasts are invited to come cheer on Gloria in person or watch the live stream at www.chickenfries.com as she makes her decision. Each day when she arrives with her expert handler, she will ascend from her plush coop onto her custom decision-making stage and randomly choose whether or not Chicken Fries will return to that BURGER KING® restaurant. It's simple – if Gloria chooses “yes,” Chicken Fries will be on the menu at that location. If she chooses “no,” sorry, no Chicken Fries that day. Like it or not, Gloria has the final word. She can’t be bought, seduced or swayed. After the decision, fans can take celebratory or sad-face photos with her.

'bursting contingencies'

hiring a chicken to make decisions about eating the flesh of other chickens is some sick shit imo

is she unbiased or is she random

is she choosing locations on the merits or is it just a cruel joke of fate that a chicken decides your diet for you

haha

Born and raised at Starlight Ranch in Lake Elsinore, CA, Gloria is a three-year-old Rhode Island Red chicken.

Ever since she was a little chick, Gloria aspired to take the spotlight. Her friends on the farm adored her for her charisma and wit. And now, she finally has the perfect stage to showcase her talents.

it's like there's a vegan apostate working for their ad agency

seriously wtf are they thinking

Oh man, Bayonne NJ livestream in 47 minutes.

Is a Chicken in Charge of BURGER KING® Restaurants?

for years fast food ad campaigns were limited to only having cartoon versions of animals eat themselves and think they were delicious

but soon, with cutting-edge genetic research, we will finally be able to have live chickens take bites out of themselves with three-pronged cartoon forks and then shoot a big grin at the customer before using their free wing to give a thumbs-up sign

I think the P'Zolo (tm) can already do that

Gloria sounds delicious

can they grind her into a thin paste and then batter fry her first though

I want to know Herzog's take on this.

lol it would be the burger king in fucking bayonne

Have you seen this? http://fortune.com/2015/03/16/starbucks-baristas-race-talk/

an initiative launched this week by the coffee store chain to stimulate conversation and debate about the race in America by getting employees to engage with customers about the perennially hot button subject.

Beginning on Monday, Starbucks baristas will have the option as they serve customers to hand cups on which they’ve handwritten the words “Race Together” and start a discussion about race.

There you go. My coffee cup now says "Race Together" on it. The conversation has begun.

"But I told that guy my name was Ray Sellinger. Can't they spell anything right?"

looking forward to the subway 'let's talk about religion' initiative

your sandwich artist will write 'do your people really believe THAT?' on the wrapper for your footlong meatball

but soon, with cutting-edge genetic research, we will finally be able to have live chickens take bites out of themselves with three-pronged cartoon forks and then shoot a big grin at the customer before using their free wing to give a thumbs-up sign

― j., Tuesday, March 17, 2015 12:15 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

picturing monty burns and his one bite of blinky the three-eyed fish, here