slaves, tell me about 50 Shades of Grey

when i was at a major grocery chain the other day i saw bottles of 50 Shades wine

tamp flavored

i cannot wait to hatewatch

Jamie Dornan played the sadistic serial killer in The Fall and this movie makes him say:

"There were times when Dakota was not wearing much, and I had to do stuff to her that I'd never choose to do to a woman."

and

"What the f—k is happening? I'm a dad. What?"

Which says something about this movie. Or maybe Jamie Dornan...

lol

We would have proper on-set barneys

sounds like the hottest on-screen chemistry since sharon stone and billy baldwin

everyone involved in that ipad interview should be fired from their jobs and then rehired and then fired again and then someone should pour a bucket of mud on their heads and then the bucket person should be fired for proximity

...and the agent says "what do you call this act?"

biggest LOLs in years from this whole thread (THANK YOU, PEOPLE OF ILX), but this in particular:

Oh Jeezu, Joy of Man's Desiring
― Will Chave (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 7 August 2012 16:47 (2 years ago) Permalink

there are THREE films planned?? i guess i should keep an open mind. i had zero expectations for Sam Taylor Wood's last film and it was great so..

while your commitment to open-mindedness is commendable, i can't help feeling that the early life of john lennon offers a bit more scope to make an interesting film than an adaptation of some of the most famously awful fiction in recent history

wtf Lennon film was shit too

sounds like the hottest on-screen chemistry since sharon stone and billy baldwin

― da croupier, Thursday, February 5, 2015 12:50 AM (11 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

or possibly Sharon Stone and David Morrissey

Sharon Stone and etc etc.

can you imagine having to have fights with a twilight fan fiction writer about staying true to her literary vision

I'm dying over here

my wife is going to see it with a group of ladies and she wouldn't let me go even when i promised to wear a suit

it would be way more entertaining to see this movie in mixed company imo

i'm gonna see it and say OW loudly from the audience every time there's any kind of rough play like OW OW BOY THAT MUST SMART LIKE THE DICKENS OW OUCH HOO BOY THAT"S GONNA LEAVE A MARK

can't wait for the supercut of dakota johnson saying 'jeez' 150 times

xp http://www.worksafebcstore.com/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/265x/9df78eab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95/2/0/201_poster.jpg

http://www.wetravelersthree.com/yahoo_site_admin/assets/images/gawrsh.122161825_std.jpg

http://mrwgifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/The-Lakers-Basketball-Team-Ouch-Reaction-Gif.gif

http://gifsec.com/wp-content/uploads/GIF/2014/03/-wince-GIF.gif

nah nah, me and my suit are just gonna go on our own, sit in the center front and lean back, casually twirling a pen in my hand

just a guy in a suit starting his own chapter of the pen 15 club

i think i'll just say "oh jeez, this is erotic!" every few minutes.

^^In an Edie McLurg voice, please (jeez)

i'll make sure to save it for the expository (non-sex) scenes

i feel like this film would have been better if performed by legos

― Hammer Smashed Bagels, Wednesday, February 4, 2015 3:27 PM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S7AvZPTT4kU

The dude from The Fall, when he shaves, looks a lot like the dude from Gossip Girl

What's Adrian Lyne up to?

he also looks a little bargain-basement Jaime Lannister

years ago a bunch of my coworkers got tix for a free screening of twilight through work, my friend & i sat together & without really meaning to basically riffed the entire movie to a coworker who still says to this day that it's the only way he could have survived

i have a feeling 50 Shades will exist in the same pantheon

I would enjoy attending and MST3K'ing this with ilxors.

y do these two hate each other

honestly, after that article, i'd rather watch a documentary about this press tour than the actual movie. i like the idea of people sabotaging themselves. in the documentary they would gain self-insight by doing this

werner herzog would direct it. he'd guide them to the insight.

Would love to hear Herzog narrate the words "Dakota Johnson".

The End Times, I tell you: 50 Shades of Grey Adult Toys

lol Target. america is becoming denmark

Heard an ad on NPR for 50 Shades gray teddy bear (for Valentine's Day) during evening rush hour

Pledge gift?

No it was some stupid bear company -- Vermont bears? Like Pajamagram.

wait npr is sending people live bears? thats so next level.

BeatABear SexShop

Only YOU can prevent benwah-ball inflicted injuries

http://cdn.vermontteddybear.com/Images/ProductImages/600/KK0015958_600_20150120_1312.jpg

amazing