Bait My Clickhole

http://www.clickhole.com/article/7-scary-things-pulling-all-nighter-does-your-body-1858

so not clicking on the caterpillar one

First impressions are everything in email, and without a strong subject line, your message might get ignored or sent straight to spam. Here are some helpful tips to make sure your email stands out in the inbox.

1. Start your subject line with “GOOD EMAIL”: People rarely want to read a bad email, so make sure to say the email is good right off the bat.

2. Don’t include too many A’s: It’s tempting to write out “aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa,” but usually just four or five of them will suffice.

3. Always include “Regarding The Position”: This is especially important for job seekers, but even if you’re writing a personal email it’s worth adding just in case the recipient knows about a good job somewhere.

4. If you love the recipient, just come out and say it: It’s not easy to write “I Love You” in the subject line, but it’s a risk you’ve got to take. Even if you get rejected, at least you won’t spend the rest of your life wondering what could have been.

5. Bosses love sea life facts: It can be intimidating to write to your boss, but don’t worry. If you know any good facts about ocean trenches or weird fish, throw them in the subject line, and your boss will give you a promotion.

6. Don’t take a stand on Jeremy Piven either way: Some people love the Entourage actor; others find him annoying. Best to avoid any messy drama and leave him out of your subject line entirely.

7. Write the email address again: Usually, putting the email address in the “To” line is enough, but put it in the subject line also just to be safe.

8. For urgent emails, write “I HAVE YOUR DAUGHTER”: This is guaranteed to get the attention of any recipient with a daughter. But first, do your research to make sure they have a daughter. If they don’t have a daughter, instead write, “YOU HAVE A DAUGHTER.”

9. Add some beautiful words: Nobody is going to click on your email unless the subject line has some nice words like “pheasant,” “downpour,” and “schist.”

10. Include one of these babies ¿ in every subject line: Even if your subject is not a question, people are going to write back to ask how you typed that.

http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/i-spent-my-whole-life-defending-cruella-de-vil-the-1762

https://fbcdn-sphotos-d-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xap1/t31.0-8/10924681_1552311348342459_6798936650936220163_o.jpg

i am down with clickventure

This one killed me, probably mainly bcs I'm a SC4 fan.

http://www.clickhole.com/video/lesbians-explain-simcity-4-cheat-codes-1862

“If George Washington were here today, he would not like what he sees.”
—Elizabeth Warren
On what to tell children when they make a mess

http://www.clickhole.com/article/we-already-knew-nsa-spies-us-we-already-know-every-1876

clickhole otm

kinda beautiful...

~_~

http://i.imgur.com/4Sh2cen.jpg

http://www.clickhole.com/article/10-jokes-childrens-shows-you-didnt-get-kid-1373

http://www.clickhole.com/article/we-already-knew-nsa-spies-us-we-already-know-every-1876

― walid foster dulles (man alive), Monday, February 9, 2015 9:53 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

so good, shdve been on nytimes.com

Are those all Carlin quotes?

Yep. I recognized most of them right away.

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/are-you-old-money-or-new-money-1813

was just dead throughout all of this one

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/have-you-found-your-perfect-match-1920

omg

their v day stuff has been consistently astral diamonds but for some reason:

12. Hijack the bodies of a beautiful rich couple: If your psyches are powerful enough, you and your date should have no trouble overwhelming the minds of a gorgeous young rich couple, seizing their luscious flesh and considerable resources for a night of opulent debaucher

is killing me the hardest

http://chimg.onionstatic.com/7360/16x9/640.jpg

every night I prayed to God that Wile E. Coyote would stop chasing the Road Runner and start chasing her

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/we-can-determine-which-state-youre-just-way-you-an-1908

this one really benefits from the "open page source and search for 'quiz-outcome'" technique

so i i picked one p much at random and clickhole was right!!

http://www.clickhole.com/article/shameful-less-10-americans-can-draw-tim-robbins-1883

http://www.clickhole.com/video/women-tell-you-what-theyre-really-looking-man-1943

some great performances in this one

I haven't read this one yet; I'm linking it solely for the title:

http://www.clickhole.com/article/make-wish-kid-couldnt-decide-what-he-wanted-so-the-1848

love the what women really want video

so i i picked one p much at random and clickhole was right!!

haha me too... started wondering about deep google analytics but i think its just a coincidence

lost it at the chugga-chugga part

Congrats!
You've unlocked the "2 More Years Of Life" badge! Enjoy a couple more years on us!

http://www.clickhole.com/clickventure/mysterious-shadows-skullshadow-island-1880#2,

this is incredible

It’s the lyrics to “Night Moves.”

5. “Dumb question, but are you called Buckethead because there’s a bucket on your head?”

I love the increasingly insane choose your own adventure stuff, feel like they're in some way distant american cousins of latter Terry Fuckwitt strips

was fully cackling on the bus while obsessively trying to enter the chord sequence from the Bob Seger song properly

came here to post kudos for the click yr own adventure thing. real internet

http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/im-tired-people-whining-facebook-about-how-theyre--1918

keep remembering this and reading it again

lolll i meant to link to that one yesterday. "PLEASE SEND COMFORT AND MAGIC!!!"

clickhole deserves acclaim just for putting the word "tremendous" into circulation

this one is freaking literature http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/mom-sad-crying-or-happy-crying-1897

ha wow

http://www.clickhole.com/video/these-6-people-singing-different-everclear-songs-s-1961

starts funny, then feels overlong, then funny because excruciatingly long

http://www.clickhole.com/article/10-things-only-people-gauges-will-understand-1898

missed opportunity for meta joke about how only ppl with "gauges" seem to understand that they are not called gauges.

idgi

https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=plugs%20not%20gauges

ppl get mad heated about this

ha wow

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mds2ie50EZ1qfy3sdo1_500.jpg

loooool

http://www.clickhole.com/article/did-sesame-street-go-too-far-yesterday-when-big-bi-1911