rolling new food laboratory inventions for american chain restaurants thread

The problem isn't that they aren't wings. It's that they tossed some cauliflower in hot sauce and acted like that was a good idea.

"Yeah, those wings are not going to fly this year," said Bill Cooper, the lead Winterfest organizer.

the only sane man in a crazy world

that dog won't hunt

IDK, I've thought about making some of those cauliflower wings.

Take
These cauli wings
And learn to fly agaaainnn

Would totally eat cauliflower wings, just don't call them wings maybe.

D:

I fuck with cauliflower wings. The best thing about going vegetarian was realizing that you could make ANYthing a wing.

i've had some really good tofu or seitan buffalo "wings"

otm, wing walk judges are shook

http://www.bostonglobe.com/lifestyle/2015/01/29/kfc-double-down-dog-takes-bite-out-internet/CctF5xCMachlIGIj1mIRhO/story.html

Doin the lor'ds work

Just had the thought that the double down dog is basically a modern chicken cordon bleu

i once attempted a 100% vegan double-down:

http://i.imgur.com/0mtcPEL.png
http://i.imgur.com/b4gkKYp.png

Would nom

Looks good though I suspect also $45

would try that (but not the vegenaise, bleh).

cauliflower non-wings sound great. anything can be a sauce delivery device.

lol veganaise is prob the tastiest ingredient there, with the possible exception of the barbecue sauce

How we created an entire generation of unsophisticated, picky eaters — and why we must stop the tasteless cycle: DEATH TO THE CHICKEN FINGER

As a general rule, people who grew up in North America and are now over the age of 30 recall that when they were children, kids ate what the adults ate. Families usually dined together at the table. There might have been foods you didn’t like; depending on the rules of the house you might have been expected to try them or even finish them. Or you might have been free not to, as long as there weren’t too many foods you were refusing.

a major source of childhood unhappiness : (

In Boston, Showcase SuperLux, located in Chestnut Hill, will roll out a special menu beginning Friday that includes drinks such as the Inner Goddess bellini, and Submissive Sangria, The Boston Globe reports.

A steakhouse in Lincolnshire, Ill., wants diners to eat their "Fifty Shades"-themed meal with a blindfold on, WGN TV says. Sullivan's Steakhouse is offering an aphrodisiac menu complete with hand-shucked oysters and warm banana nutella bread pudding.

Alamo Drafthouse, a cinema known for serving drinks and dinner during movies, will be featuring a romantic meal as well, Thrillist says. For dessert, Alamo will be offering the Red Room Red Velvet Cake, named for Grey's lair of sex toys. Don't forget the drinks, which include the Hanky Panky and Maiden's Prayer.

Variety notes a Las Vagas-area restaurant Whist Stove and Spirit that will also have a "Fifty Shades" dinner. Guests can look forward to strip steak and chocolate cake doughnuts, along with a private screening of the film.

Pakpao Thai, located in Dallas, will have a "Thai Me Up: Fifty Shades of Grey" menu come Valentine's Day, The Dallas Morning News reports. One list includes "steamy" mussels and "drunk on love" drunken noodles.

In Washington, D.C., Farm to Feast Catering puts all other services to shame with their $1,500 meal that includes gold-plated handcuffs, a leather riding whip, and a wearable chocolate fondue dessert. The Washingtonian says the four-course menu features "tied up" duck breast and "steamy" roast short ribs in fig gravy.

a wearable chocolate fondue dessert

the number of Saturday night emergency room visits directly related to this fucking movie opening is going to be a thing of terrible beauty

Staff at B&Q stores have been told to read Fifty Shades of Grey and prepare for a massive rise in demand for rope, cable ties and tape.

A leaked memo reveals that workers at the DIY chain have been asked to prepare themselves for "sensitive" customer questions about such products, which could be used in sexual role play.

The memo, circulated to the DIY store's entire 20,887 workforce at 359 stores, is titled: "Staff Briefing – Preparation for Fifty Shades of Grey Customer Queries."

It says copies of the erotic novel will be delivered to each store and can then be lent to staff on a one week basis.

Staff are urged to familiarise themselves with the book and to deal with any related queries in a "polite, helpful and respectful manner".

shit, wrong thread

tomato tomato

http://detroit.cbslocal.com/2015/02/18/little-caesars-to-introduce-pizza-wrapped-in-3-5-feet-of-bacon/

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/02/26/business/the-chicken-at-kfc-is-ok-but-the-cups-are-delicious.html

http://i.imgur.com/5UoCejX.jpg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tx_lNvH-UUA

can't imagine that being good, at all. aside from racing your way through your drink, out of fear that otherwise the cup will fail and send hot liquid gushing down your sleeve, there's the whole thing of wanting to have something left to sip on between bites of one's sugar wafer cylinder. the stress of negotiating that alone would be a reason to avoid this product. but i guess most importantly would be that my coffee is already my little sugary thing in the morning and i don't need another one. i guess kfc doesn't sell donuts though so maybe they can pick up business this way.

http://www.foodbeast.com/news/tacobell-capn-crunch-donut-holes/

http://cdn.foodbeast.com/content/uploads/2015/02/TB-Capn-Ooze-01.jpg

Finally, a reason to go to Bakersfield!!! Other than meth and Mentors shows.

https://medium.com/@atifatif/mcdonalds-showcasing-digital-chops-at-sxsw-2015-a7e9b4760de7

As a business, we’re always putting our emphasis on the customer, and want to improve the SXSW experience for everyone. We’re planning to showcase how we’re using digital to enhance the consumer experience, and naturally add true value and reduce the inherent frictions for attendees that inevitably occur because of the event’s sheer size. The McDonald’s Lounge will feature our McCafé coffee brand, along with comfortable couches, Wi-Fi, charging stations and televisions streaming various sessions and events, and will be home to salon sessions, panels and hackathons. We’re focused on providing consumer convenience, including a “Fry-Fi” food truck offering attendees free Wi-Fi and McDonald’s World Famous Fries.

finally

What if your whole experience with McDonald’s was customized just for you? Imagine walking into the restaurant, the crew immediately recognizing who you are, knowing your favorite order and charging your account – without needing to open your wallet.

Jesus Christ, World. Stop trying to do this.

the dystopia of false community

welcome to pplains-donalds
we have your sriracha cheese curd fries & salted caramel moolatte shake waiting for you

WE'VE BEEN EXPECTING YOU MR PLAINS

Jesus Christ, World. Stop trying to do this.

my new coffeeshop has already figured out my order and now they start it when they see me come in and god dammit can i just order my damn coffee myself and have a standard anonymous service experience

i stopped going to an otherwise good new place because they do this

http://i.imgur.com/Yjeo9h7.jpg

Sometimes you wanna go where nobody knows your name.

i hate it, i usually change places when they know me

i love that the people at my place know my name but i would be put out if they thought they knew my order, and would haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate it if a computer did it. though, if it was that kind of place i probably wouldn't be there in the first place.

Jesus Christ, World. STOP TRYING TO DO THIS.

― me, now (now)

Y'all are crazy. I hope it gets to the point where a robot recognizes me when I walk in and they automatically give me a nutrient pill. Then 5 years later I want to print said nutrient pill at home instead.

lol at 龜's pic from one of my favorite films

my friend is a very personable guy these days and will talk at length to the wait staff at places we go to for lunch, and I feel like kind of a dick because my impulses fall partially into the "I don't want to be a known regular" column with a little splash of "I am the dick who treats people like anonymous food-serving robots" guilt

can't wait for the big reveal where my friend finds out they treat him like an anonymous robot customer, and the reason they remember topics of past conversation was that it was recorded in a computer

lol

i don't see the problem with treating people like anonymous food-serving robots as long as you're respectful and polite

I don't mind going to the local pizza joint and the server asking if I want a pint of the usual. But walking into a fucking McDonald's and the cashier saying, "Good morning, Mr. Plans! Looking for another little girl's Happy Meal (based on your previous order?)" is not something I want to deal with.

And I want to pay with money or by offering a debit/credit card of some sort. Don't just lift the shit out of my pocket from thin air.

i don't see the problem with treating people like anonymous food-serving robots as long as you're respectful and polite

Maybe this is long-deserved revenge on customers who go "Well there, *looks at nametag* - 'Somer', I'll have one of your finest chocolate milkshakes please."

you think that's bad, wait until they start offering new menu items they've extrapolated you might want based on past data