another maniacal Armond White review, this time "Fahrenheit 9/11"

the other day my subway sandwich artist asked me "who was that guy who made those documentaries? about columbine and stuff?" and i just looked at him blankly before realizing back in the car 20 minutes later oh yeah, michael moore. i'd almost suggested gus van sant.

If Sandwich Artists don't know who Michael Moore is, than Armond Has Won.

Is the better-than list for '14 up yet? I only ask because I have no real clue where I might find it anymore (National Review? Out? Somewhere else?).

'Better Thans' go live in mid-January, no?

well he's gotta wait to see how the critical consensus about a movie shapes up before he can decide if he likes it or not. That usually takes until well after the new year.

Crossing fingers for "Penguins of Madagascar > Birdman"

Did Paul W.S. Anderson release a movie this year? 'Cause that's always an easy one.

Pompeii (referred to in marketing as Pompeii in 3D) is a 2014 German-Canadian
historical disaster film produced and directed by Paul W. S. Anderson.

my upcoming book, Critic Without a Culture

― Don A Henley And Get Over It (C. Grisso/McCain), Tuesday, 6 January 2015 Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I'm feeling it.

Well he has a point about conformity and consensus and that's the reason I've argued he's important and that I hope he inspires other critics to follow him. And then write better than him. But it's increasingly hard to believe someone will stand out and get the same platform as film critics get fewer and consensus aggregates rule the day.

PWSA has plenty of supporters tho

Trying to anticipate AW's take on Selma. I somehow think it will turn on the scene with the Kings and the FBI sex tape.

so weird that he chose the year in which they give the top prize to "goodbye to language" to pen a screed about how the NYFCC is a shill for the studios. and by "weird" i guess i mean "typical." this megalomaniacal asshole cannot go away faster.

i mean, they gave the prize to a film that barely even got distributed! what more does armond white want?

uh, that was the Natl Society. The NY crix gave it to your fave Boyhood.

oh... wow. i don't think i've ever known the difference! well, score one for armond. actually, no.

i mean, they gave the prize to a film that barely even got distributed! what more does armond white want?
--I dunno. (amateurist)

he'll come up with a troll take for pretty much any outcome/scenario/critical opinion/etc. it literally does not matter what it is, he just needs to oppose it. apparently he's also piss drink more often than not and his copy is impossible to edit, according to a critic friend

*piss drunk

I've heard he's also into drinking piss, actually.

Chased with vinegar, et al.

I'd believe it tbh

He usta be good. Once or twice a year he still is.

I don't get the hubbub. I remember his year end lists being tasteful. It's not like a new Transformers movie came out.

And when he was editing himself for the city paper or whatever it was, his copy was raw, but it wasn't uneditable.

It's here: http://www.nationalreview.com/article/396040/tenth-annual-better-list-armond-white

I think I had the same reaction to last year's list - none of it really "shocked" me, in so much as these things (or Armond) could.

Its probably a credit to him that after all these years we might expect him to "shock us" on any level.

Never sure why he bothers with the picks that are so obvious as to be redundant. Don't know why it needs to be said that Journey to the West is better than Maleficent.

whether or not i'm shocked, i felt his phrasing deserved a poll

Best Succinct Film Pan From Armond White's 10th Annual Better-Than List

Korengal > Citizenfour

Sebastian Junger honors the risks of Afghanistan soldiers while Laura Poitras celebrates Edward Snowden’s anti-American paranoia.

300: Rise of an Empire > Interstellar

Noam Murro and Zach Snyder raised 3D pulp to a level of sensual, visceral astonishment but Christopher Nolan couldn’t get past nerdy, boring imitation-Kubrick space oddity.

Wrong Journey to the West...

Throughout 2014, movie culture, as we used to know it, collapsed. Old Masters Godard, Bertolucci, Resnais and Troell kept the faith yet went ignored.

Best not to open your annual screed by citing a film that has been lauded with awards as "ignored."

He's right about Lego Movie and Snowpiercer.

SNOWPIERCER knowingly cartoonish and funny though.

He seems to want to fuck Chris Pratt

http://www.out.com/armond-white/2015/6/10/jurassic-dreams-chris-pratt-haunts-fanboy-wet-dreams-spielbergs-dino

Heaven forbid.

i'm just sad this wasn't in the national review

He has a new piece in OZY. lol

This -- "he’s like a gainfully employed Matthew Rush" -- is pretty o_0 tho.

The Jurassic World script doesn’t allow Pratt the personal charm — the wink — that Harrison Ford brought off as Indy, hero of many adolescent boys’ dreams. Pratt’s eyes are gentle, yet his stout-thewed crouch and voluptuous trapazoids overwhelm this formulaic movie — and Bryce Dallas Howard’s shrill, vapid Park supervisor. She’s unappealing as Owen’s love interest. Maybe a lesbian critic could try justifying her cold acting but who can say what hetero guys who see Jurassic World put into their spank banks? I bet it’s Owen.

this paragraph sure takes a turn

i don't read a lot of out magazine but it's not really the place i'd expect an "i dunno, maybe a lesbian will dig it" aside

LOL, 'cause that's totally what lesbians are into, Armond. Demeaning, frigid female characters who learn the value of having children with hot dudes over the course of the movie.

C Pratt was much cuter when a bit fluffier.

Not my type in either form.

his stout-thewed crouch and voluptuous trapazoids
his stout-thewed crouch and voluptuous trapazoids

I'm sorry, I missed the part when the voluptuous trapazoid ate Newman

voluptuous trapazoids

Pretty impressive in the context of the word "velociraptors."

Or it would've been had his movie bothered to mention any dinosaurs at all.

his movie review

OUT magazine is generally aimed, like all "gay" mainstream pubs, at fairly rich white men who don't know (m)any lesbians and think 'centrist' Dems are tot awesome bcuz "marriage."

Maybe only 12-year-old boys are still into dinosaurs.

his voluptuous reviews

i would have been a little more impressed if he'd spelled trapezoid correctly

Attended the screening last night with a 29-year-old boy who was verrrrrry much still into dinosaurs.

though this did come up when googling http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=trapazoid