'The Day Today' -- "HELLO, YOU!"

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"J in red and blue."

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 11:57 (twenty-one years ago)

in red on blue - and that's the letter of the law is it?

― jed_ (jed), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 11:59 (twenty-one years ago)

http://uk.imdb.com/top_250_films

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:01 (twenty-one years ago)

bah, ignore that.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:02 (twenty-one years ago)

"This is a high class Bureau de Change, not some Punch and Judy Show on Margate Pier"

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:05 (twenty-one years ago)

"He must have a rocket engine in that foot!"

The car discussion!

― Crickets Dance On Tequila Booty (Barima), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:07 (twenty-one years ago)

"They look like cattle... in a mad way... but cattle on bikes"

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Stop getting TDT wrong! "He must have a foot like a traction engine."

Kids today, sassenfrassen...

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:13 (twenty-one years ago)

"Strathcarnage versus Taste of Dunfermline CANNOT BE STOPPED"

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Bitch wanna try it, I said keep her quiet, shove it up her muthafucking ass and fry it

The black neighbours sketch is hilarious

― Mikey G (Mikey G), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:16 (twenty-one years ago)

"Crazed wolves in store a bad mistake admit Mothercare"

― de, Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:16 (twenty-one years ago)

What would you do if I introduced a pig into this office?

(Pre-dated Gervais by years)

― Anna (Anna), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Slamming the wasps from the pure apple of truth.

― Pete (Pete), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Actually, I might switch my 'vote' to Attitudes Night. Last televised hanging - "The initial euphoria has passed .. not an experience I'll be trying again." - "He's saying he wants you to give him a thick ear!" - kiddy pool - "Ta-ra yeh shitter!"

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:22 (twenty-one years ago)

must....buy...dvd...already...

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:24 (twenty-one years ago)

teenage boy roasts himself in homage to chris kelly...

― jed_ (jed), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:26 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm surprised at how easily 'll quote scriptur and verse, when an equivalent run on Monty Python/Father Ted/The Simpsons would have me curling my toes from about five posts in. I think it's because this is a thread explicitly about quotes, and also for some reason it hasn't become a cultural reference point on the scale of the other three.

Also I'm assuming this thread will be politely deleted after we're done.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:27 (twenty-one years ago)

what about jam!??!!?

and i think collaterlie sisters is so hot!

― cutty (mcutt), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:27 (twenty-one years ago)

what am i, fuckin noddy?!

― Enrique (Enrique), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Soemthing that I suspect may have been mentioned before: It's not a very "Alan Partridge" Alan Partridge, is it? He's not pathetic as much as just a fool. Was the "Knowing Me Knowing You" AP also like this?

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:30 (twenty-one years ago)

exactly. i think jam is more twisted and subversive then the day today or brass eye.

but i love being able to watch steve coogan AND chris morris at the same time.

― cutty (mcutt), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:30 (twenty-one years ago)

xpost to enrique

― cutty (mcutt), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:31 (twenty-one years ago)

It may be more twisted and subversive but it isn't anywhere near as funny

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:32 (twenty-one years ago)

jam is whack next to blue jam; if it's more experimental, it's less funny/cutting. obv it's grate, but not *as* great.

All three AP series have showcased different Alans, and the radio shows were also different -- nothing wrong with that.

― ENRQ (Enrique), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:33 (twenty-one years ago)

To Jockey, "Shouldn't you be at school then?"

"No, I'm 34."

― Mikey G (Mikey G), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:33 (twenty-one years ago)

The Day Today: News Felch.

― jed_ (jed), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes, it's in a different business, it's looking to be Art rather than have people creased over in front of the telly.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:34 (twenty-one years ago)

chris morris is working on something new isn't he?

― cutty (mcutt), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:35 (twenty-one years ago)

There was something about a collaboration between him and Charlie Brooker, which would cause my trousers to explode and no mistake.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:36 (twenty-one years ago)

It's based on the Nathan Barley character and the little things I hear about it don't make me very excited. I think the blue jam monologues are his absolute pinnacle but I can see that they might be a bit of a dead end.

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:46 (twenty-one years ago)

i saw a drama about date rape on BBC2 last week that was so absurd i was sure Morris had a hand in it.

― jed_ (jed), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:49 (twenty-one years ago)

I think Brooker co-wrote Paedogeddon too. To be honest, I'd rather see him as a co-writer with Morris after seeing the absolute shittery that was the TVGoHome TV prog.

Search - The Chris Morris Show on Radio One.

― Lynskey (Lynskey), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:50 (twenty-one years ago)

MORRIS: If you could read out this complaint which you have just written?

MAN: I shall indeed.

MORRIS: Grasp the candle.

MAN: Sorry?

MORRIS: And bang on.

MAN: And bang on. [Starts reading] I would like to complain about the entirely slack monitoring of the shape of broadcasters' mouths. As a recruitment officer, I know it is a simple matter when appointing staff to filter out those with unusual or disgusting mouths at the interview stage. Yet our screens are plagued with the likes Gavin Estlar, whose mouth is not only so ill-governed it looks like it is trying to escape from his face, but is grotesquely lopsided. A balanced view from that? In a chimp's cock. Surely the time has come for the BBC to face up to this demoralising assault and sack anyone... [turns the page] ...whose mouth does not conform to a reasonable standard. Perhaps mine. Point at mouth. Regular, neat and I've had the stretch marks dealt with. Do it or I'll ram you up your own... fudge tunnels? Thank you.

― jed_ (jed), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Morris working with Brooker is a bit like Morrissey working with Gene, isn't it?

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:53 (twenty-one years ago)

chris morris as fred durst is one of the greatest things ever

― cutty (mcutt), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:54 (twenty-one years ago)

The Chris Morris show on R1 needs a CD release. I still don't know whether to belive all the outside broadcasts -- making a guy take a taxi from Cambridge railway station and... I forget, but it was total and utter genius.

Don't teach your grandmother to *blank* eggs.

― ENRQ (Enrique), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:54 (twenty-one years ago)

(Radio 1 show) phone call to Heathrow Air-Traffic Control:

"When planes taxi, is it because they want to sniff the terminal?"

― Mikey G (Mikey G), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Morris's sidekick for the R1 Music Shows - Baynham. Vini Reilly in other words. Is it too much to wish that they'd work together again?

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 12:59 (twenty-one years ago)

I think we should post to other threads in a Chris Morris style. Like a badger's nonce.

― Mikey G (Mikey G), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 13:01 (twenty-one years ago)

I think Brooker co-wrote Paedogeddon too.

That'll be why it wasn't as good as the earlier ones then. Bring Back Baynham!

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 13:04 (twenty-one years ago)

This man, is HE cool? What about him? Is HE cool? Look at me, am I COOL? Am I REALLY? Am I really COOL?????

― AdamL :') (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 13:04 (twenty-one years ago)

"It's easy to kill a ferret, you just kick it's face off".

― AdamL :') (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 13:05 (twenty-one years ago)

where in shitting crikey is my nose?

― ENRQ (Enrique), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 13:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Car drives past supermarket in town.

― AdamL :') (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 13:08 (twenty-one years ago)

anyone remember not necessarily the news, used to on the HBO?

great reagan era news schtick. i'd love to see what how it translates today.

― cutty (mcutt), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 13:09 (twenty-one years ago)

We didn't ask for this war, we've been made to swallow the egg of an angry political goose.

― AdamL :') (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 13:09 (twenty-one years ago)

"It's WAR!"

*set immediately transforms*

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 14:25 (twenty-one years ago)

"... like some crazy Trojan"

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 14:26 (twenty-one years ago)

"As I was swirling the toothpaste from my mouth this morning, a soldier's head flew by my window, on its lips the single word... victory"

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 14:27 (twenty-one years ago)

"SOR-TED! SOR-TED! SOR-TED!"

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 15 June 2004 14:40 (twenty-one years ago)

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