Bait My Clickhole

Watch the stone. Protect the stone. Never let the stone out of sight.

omg of course

https://www.facebook.com/clickhole/photos_stream

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/how-well-do-you-know-lyrics-fresh-prince-bel-air-t-1537

i love the little alternate universes conjured up by these dumb quizzes.

That one has me cracking up! What's with all of the long teeth material?!

@dril

dying at "I got in one little fight/And my mom got in one little fight"

Clickhole's loving embrace of non sequitur is quickly propelling it ahead of the Onion proper in my esteem.

Is it definitely dril?

according to me

sold!

lag∞n definitely keeps saying it's dril

if u dont believe me just check this thread

"My eyes fill with my own blood as cash pours from the brick". shit. never gonna be able to play a mario game again

xp tbh in my head you are ilx ambassador to weird twitter. not inconceivable to me that dril confessed all over a tray of rochers at a reception in tashkent

Still laughing at that "fiddle-dee-dee" quizmaster one. "I have defeated you with riddle magic!"

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/B4HmK2aIAAA9206.jpg

“Stop trying to make me feel shame for my pride,” Cheryl says. “I’m proud of this pride, and I’m not going to feel ashamed of my pride. Shaming me isn’t going to shame the proud pride of which I am so proud. The only shame I feel about my pride is that I don’t take more proud pride in my pride. And I’m proud of that pride because I’m proud that I’m so proud of my pride that I can feel ashamed that my pride pride isn’t more proud than it could be. Shame on you if you shame my proud shame-pride. Maybe if you had proud pride you wouldn’t pride-shame my shame-pride.”

^this seems of a piece with the Incredible Sleep System one. I feel like there are at least two really distinctive writers on CH staff. The person who wrote these mazes of nonsense imo could be behind the syntactical frenzy of the jazz poll/the bong bong theory/"There is a Man in the Bell" & even all the planets are bouncing boys. Whereas I feel like there's an altogether different sensibility behinf garbage sons, second puberty, how new york are you, Beyonce/Susan B Anthony and even maybe one weird trick to doubling my body mass...

(Note: I just binge-read a bunch of these...)

Maybe both George Saunders and @dril are on staff...?

Well this made me curious about how many writers there actually are. Quite a few!
http://www.theonion.com/contact/

Editorial Coordinator Anthony Easton

wait

http://i.imgur.com/0G1gvve.png

Confident in saying that I think Clickhole has peaked and there are some bad articles on the site now

This one is good and recent though http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/how-many-these-common-fears-haunt-you-constantly-1515

the "quizmaster" one is kind of a misfire

fucking died at "Drinking even one tea that doesn’t soothe you"

irl

Giving up a grand slam to John Wayne Gacy Jr.

lol that one also hit

Watching the guy in the Mickey Mouse costume at Disney World take his head off and seeing a smaller Mickey Mouse head underneath

^^legit terrifying

Several of these I found nightmarish.

the content of the quizmaster one isn't my favorite, but the picture + headline makes me laugh every time it shows up in the sidebar.

Confident in saying that I think Clickhole has peaked and there are some bad articles on the site now

This one is good and recent though http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/how-many-these-common-fears-haunt-you-constantly-1515

ok some of those were hilarious

you are a slave to fear. Awesome!

the super mario

DO NOT PUB

feel like they could've done a lot more than that. like, a bieber obit at least. maybe something messed up like 'hitler: a new perspective' except not lame.

that was perfect

Read this: don’t pub. Read instead of pub. Anything but pub.

kept waiting for the lovecraftian twist

It's now the monster mash..

do not pub works like a seinfeld episode: keep repeating the phrase until it wears you down and just gets funnier

TKTKTK

NOT READY FOR FAMOUS

Amazing! TKTK proves there’s still good in the world.

that's hilarious.

best one so far for me
http://www.clickhole.com/article/6-american-television-shows-started-england-1559

http://www.clickhole.com/splitpic/beautiful-heres-what-muppets-would-look-women-colo-1577

I really shouldn't read this site at work.

6. Modern Family

Based on the British sitcom And Jeffrey Makes Eleven.

The Emmy-winning American sitcom can trace its origins back to the hallowed British comedy And Jeffrey Makes Eleven, a show about an unconventional family consisting of eight parents and three children. Every member of the family was 45 years old. The show ran for one episode, which was 23 seconds long. It is generally considered one of the greatest programs in the history of British television.

The show returned briefly for an hour-long Christmas special titled “And Eight More Jeffries Make Nineteen,” in which the eight parents all become pregnant via Immaculate Conception and give virgin births at the same time to eight grown men named Jeffrey. They are all 45 years old.

It's a little "big-bottomed birds" but funny in places. Does also make me thank god that our series lengths aren't as fucking interminable as American ones, and yet you all think it's not just normal but desirable to have 365 24-hour long episodes in a season.

This, to be fair, is pretty much the pinnacle of British television:

Fans of the show also got to enjoy an hour-long Christmas special in which Santa Claus sits silently in the pub and gets drunk alone.

watching an ad on hulu for x-files and realizing that it was NINE seasons long....ugh...over 200 episodes. unreal.

Might need to make this my new desktop.

http://chimg.onionstatic.com/6293/original/640.jpg