Bait My Clickhole

shades of falconhoof to this one
http://f.cl.ly/items/0W2Q003H160w1q363r0d/clickhole.png

http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/it-happened-me-nick-took-over-my-school-and-wouldn-1490?utm_campaign=default&utm_medium=ShareTools&utm_source=facebook

Soon, kids were eating Gak and Floam. We were only allowed to bathe in orange soda or chocolate sauce. Everyone was getting sick. We thought it would never end. We thought Nick had taken over our lives. We didn’t know how long we would last. And, finally, we gave up hope.

Then on June 12, 1998, eight months and 17 days later, the National Guard stormed our elementary school and removed Nickelodeon from the premises. It was over. The government killed all of the Nickelodeon characters with guns and grenades, but their stain would forever discolor the minds of all who lived in Morning Day Elementary under their despotic reign.

http://chimg.onionstatic.com/5832/1x1/200.jpg

this had me crying with laughter: http://www.clickhole.com/video/inspirational-deaf-woman-hears-music-first-time-1491

http://www.clickhole.com/article/we-asked-12-vegetarians-draw-picture-turkey-and-wh-1488

http://www.poynter.org/news/mediawire/305021/buzzfeed-hires-clickholes-daniel-kibblesmith/

internet eats itself

http://www.clickhole.com/video/oh-man-10-full-minutes-kissing-nice-1444

http://www.clickhole.com/article/and-now-starting-lineup-your-chicago-bulls-1355

the song is a nice touch

The Mario is the vector and you are a dream forever enclosed!

http://www.clickhole.com/article/daily-habits-5-highly-successful-people-1506

jazzboy author sighting? http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/how-deep-your-love-beautiful-super-mario-how-endle-1455

http://www.clickhole.com/article/weird-things-all-guys-do-when-women-arent-around-1478

maleness

Watch the stone. Protect the stone. Never let the stone out of sight.

omg of course

https://www.facebook.com/clickhole/photos_stream

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/how-well-do-you-know-lyrics-fresh-prince-bel-air-t-1537

i love the little alternate universes conjured up by these dumb quizzes.

That one has me cracking up! What's with all of the long teeth material?!

@dril

dying at "I got in one little fight/And my mom got in one little fight"

Clickhole's loving embrace of non sequitur is quickly propelling it ahead of the Onion proper in my esteem.

Is it definitely dril?

according to me

sold!

lag∞n definitely keeps saying it's dril

if u dont believe me just check this thread

"My eyes fill with my own blood as cash pours from the brick". shit. never gonna be able to play a mario game again

xp tbh in my head you are ilx ambassador to weird twitter. not inconceivable to me that dril confessed all over a tray of rochers at a reception in tashkent

Still laughing at that "fiddle-dee-dee" quizmaster one. "I have defeated you with riddle magic!"

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/B4HmK2aIAAA9206.jpg

“Stop trying to make me feel shame for my pride,” Cheryl says. “I’m proud of this pride, and I’m not going to feel ashamed of my pride. Shaming me isn’t going to shame the proud pride of which I am so proud. The only shame I feel about my pride is that I don’t take more proud pride in my pride. And I’m proud of that pride because I’m proud that I’m so proud of my pride that I can feel ashamed that my pride pride isn’t more proud than it could be. Shame on you if you shame my proud shame-pride. Maybe if you had proud pride you wouldn’t pride-shame my shame-pride.”

^this seems of a piece with the Incredible Sleep System one. I feel like there are at least two really distinctive writers on CH staff. The person who wrote these mazes of nonsense imo could be behind the syntactical frenzy of the jazz poll/the bong bong theory/"There is a Man in the Bell" & even all the planets are bouncing boys. Whereas I feel like there's an altogether different sensibility behinf garbage sons, second puberty, how new york are you, Beyonce/Susan B Anthony and even maybe one weird trick to doubling my body mass...

(Note: I just binge-read a bunch of these...)

Maybe both George Saunders and @dril are on staff...?

Well this made me curious about how many writers there actually are. Quite a few!
http://www.theonion.com/contact/

Editorial Coordinator Anthony Easton

wait

http://i.imgur.com/0G1gvve.png

Confident in saying that I think Clickhole has peaked and there are some bad articles on the site now

This one is good and recent though http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/how-many-these-common-fears-haunt-you-constantly-1515

the "quizmaster" one is kind of a misfire

fucking died at "Drinking even one tea that doesn’t soothe you"

irl

Giving up a grand slam to John Wayne Gacy Jr.

lol that one also hit

Watching the guy in the Mickey Mouse costume at Disney World take his head off and seeing a smaller Mickey Mouse head underneath

^^legit terrifying

Several of these I found nightmarish.

the content of the quizmaster one isn't my favorite, but the picture + headline makes me laugh every time it shows up in the sidebar.

Confident in saying that I think Clickhole has peaked and there are some bad articles on the site now

This one is good and recent though http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/how-many-these-common-fears-haunt-you-constantly-1515

ok some of those were hilarious

you are a slave to fear. Awesome!

the super mario

DO NOT PUB

feel like they could've done a lot more than that. like, a bieber obit at least. maybe something messed up like 'hitler: a new perspective' except not lame.