Bait My Clickhole

demented:

http://www.clickhole.com/article/9-reasons-we-are-excited-dad-come-back-life-1408

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/are-you-astronomy-nerd-1407

this doesn't feel like the jazz quiz person so i guess "be real weird about space" was one of clickhole's weekly objectives.

Keep studying the stars, and one day you might become a real starfucker.

http://www.clickhole.com/article/when-familys-dog-went-missing-they-didnt-know-what-1375

dayumn

“The Hulk could beat up Iron Man, but Superman could beat up the Hulk.”
—Joan Didion On her most deeply held belief

www.clickhole.com/blogpost/i-dont-see-minorities-1429

“Okay guys, you’ve made your point. You can let me out now.”
—Jerry Sandusky
On redemption

http://i.imgur.com/1nGUUq6.png

This one's for Morbs: http://www.clickhole.com/article/goodnight-sweet-prince-beloved-baseball-monster-mr-1419

"You're shooting T-Shirts at God now" yesssssss

5. Cliffs, cliffs, cliffs!: Cliffs are in right now, so make sure to get married on a cliff and snap up one of those in-demand cliff preachers (if you can!).

http://chimg.onionstatic.com/5686/original/640.jpg

http://www.clickhole.com/article/finally-emoji-expresses-pain-getting-older-and-rea-1406

That's actually a useful emoticon!

me irl

died @ this one

http://www.clickhole.com/article/why-we-yawn-1208

Research has also provided answers to many other questions pertaining to yawns. For instance, if you’ve ever wondered why yawns are so contagious, it’s because ghosts have two hands and will stick their hands in multiple mouths at the same time whenever possible.

generally p good but #1 is a bomb

http://www.clickhole.com/article/10-awesomely-offbeat-ideas-your-nontraditional-wed-1442

1. Make your wedding all about you: Why invite a bunch of worthless guests when it’s supposed to be your day? Get married in front of row after row of mannequins that look like you, and play videos of you saying how beautiful you look.

"When Peter Jackson gets that crazed look in his eyes and starts stomping his feet, you know you’re about to be transported to a world of pain"

could be easily applied to the Hobbit thread

When Lance And Blake was born, I wanted to name him Ryan and my huge beautiful wife wanted to name him Kyle, so we compromised by giving him two names that neither of us liked. Now, he makes our days sour and our nights rancid. He is a True Nightmare of a garbage son.

Invited your nice dad to Career Day at your school, where you told your classmates that his job was “trying to bring Osama bin Laden back to life” and that he did that job for free because he was “in it for the love of the game,” even though your nice dad’s real job is “air traffic controller”

What did you get your nice dad for his worst, most recent birthday?
A T-shirt with your nice dad’s face on the front and the words “Saab Owners Die Angry” on the back

dying... irl

Lmao

Who is this mysterious CH writer who penned the jazz, space SJW aarticle and now this one? Free her

i have an idea ... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Saunders

You love doing terrible things to my wonderful car and you wear shirts with curse words on them.

Guilty... as... charged...

That "Which One Of My Garbage Sons Are You?" poll is like something the National Lampoon would have run in its glory days. Amazing.

http://www.clickhole.com/video/what-does-it-mean-be-man-1460

I can't

this website is impossibly good

yeah it's just instant classics every day, can imagine that having a totally new game to play unleashed a lot of great stuff for the writers

You know that "would you click this pic even if we tell you its only nature footage" ?

I thought, hellyeah I like nature footage.

I didn't have the sound on, something suitably satirical, I'm guessing.

It feels like a real antidote to the awfulness and insanity of all the *new* sub-mediums and sub-genres that the internet has wrought on us, very cathartic, like finally acknowledging something crazy about your parents with your sibling as adults

the biblical repetition in the garbage son one is so good

new dn to celebrate my quiz result, though honestly i find myself relating more to Lance And Blake and their penchant for bone crimes.

hurting that 'lies couples tell each other' video reminds me of your exorcist thread. first too many cooks and now this

oh man, forgot about that. She rarely does stuff like that anymore -- she'll occasionally say stuff in her sleep but it's much more benign.

Who is this mysterious CH writer who penned the jazz, space SJW aarticle and now this one? Free her

― 龜, Thursday, November 20, 2014 1:48 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

new theory its @dril, reason why @dril is bad now is cause they took a job at clickhole and turned the twitter over to someone else

95% sure this is correct

lol K asked be the other day "Are you a big boy daddy?" and my mind inserted the word "jazz" into the question.

Where?

dril is still good!

no dril is bad now

Where?

― Mark G, Thursday, November 20, 2014 3:47 PM (13 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

"Are you a big boy daddy jazz?"

I only read the dril tweets that make it to tumblr so he's still good imo

def a different writer than before tho regardless, tho its possible dril has been a team all along and just some of the team turned over

http://i.imgur.com/DBIyWAP.gif

evidence

Whew!

The garbage sons thing is fucking amazing

my huge beautiful wife

lord grummond