Blue Saturday

70s mor golden oldies station playing on pub stereo, consistently, unfeasibly beautiful

✓

browsing this cool smithsonian book "great maps" dear god the world ocean floor map. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marie_Tharp

went to yoga last night. did not feel body positive.

!!!!! Was it a first or early visit?

yeah first, it was probably hilarious to watch - it's kinda hard to judge how you're doing when you're mostly facing right up or right down. and i was the only dude there. but i didn't hate it, i'm going back until they ban me for ungainliness

:D :D :D

happy birthday mr wave

terrified of having to cope with adult life, lonely, devoid of any sense of purpose, no power to change anything that makes me unhappy, all i've learned is how to fake humanity and all i've got to do is keep repeating the illusion in public until fuck knows

can't tell what's panic and what's all there is any more

over

:(

seriously ... i have to console myself that at least I am capable of going through the motions

yeah it's true :/ just got out of practice cos of time off

this endless sleepiness and lack of goals and just barely hanging onto cleanliness and order, this is depression again i guess? feel like i'm at the bottom of a sea of sludge

option 1
hang in there NV, best wishes

option 2
my life is so small and narrow
where is it taking me?

option 3
i feel you, back to work on mon, all week in bed with flu (ah actually just cold, my mother got it too and she had the flu jab) wondering if i was staying in bed due to illness physical or mental: too tired to get up but not sleeping while down, or fitfully dreaming of work and waking in a cold sweat

---

take care all blue saturdayers

http://i.imgur.com/s9SpjOC.jpg

http://www.vice.com/en_uk/read/in-defence-of-hull-023

you can nearly see my office from there

he's broadly correct on the economic history aiui

also she is almost directly overlooking the yard where HMS Bounty was built

because this isn't my birthplace i'm not gonna call the lad on his nihilist youth but i suspect he's embellishing a shade - here is Trinity's school uniform:

http://assets.sptacademies.org.uk/files/img_cache/Feature/980_350_1_1_DSC01929.JPG

That really florid bit about the "hard living trawlerman ethos" and them passing their "nails" genes onto him reads like absolute bollocks!

the trawlermen were pretty fucken tough to be fair - and lived it pretty large in the brief spells they spent back at home

but heavy poetic licence yeah and this lad mayn't even be a son of Hessle Rd for all we know

otoh it's in Vice i wasnae expecting an essay in social history

getting bored of "hull's great despite what you might think" articles now, just fuck off and leave us alone again.

^^^

if you need convincing then fuck you anyway

I tend to think the same. Wannabe gonzos disrespecting or fake romanticising unfashionable areas is always fucking tedious.

I mean I'm the son of a hardman trawlerman who was part of an entire litter of em and DNA isnt what its cracked up to be tbph

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=803239603096986

that is some genuinely interesting folk history!

ikr?

http://i245.photobucket.com/albums/gg80/zerocool-hull/DSC_0013_Small.jpg

feel like grey empty helpless lonely death lately

not drinking tho so :/

Mariella will cheer you right up today: http://gu.com/p/45qq3

blau tuserday

Most people think that committing suicide is easy. This is a myth. Nothing could be further from the truth. Ending your life can be extremely difficult. According to National Institute of Mental Health 92% of suicide attempts fail, and according to American Association of Suicidology 96% of suicide attempts fail (source: Wikipedia-Failed suicide attempt). If you decide to end your life then you have to prepare for it thoroughly. Consequences of a botched suicide attempt can be horrific. You could end up brain damaged and mentally handicapped. You might lose the ability to communicate or you might even experience a locked-in syndrome. This is a condition where a person appears to be in a coma but can actually feel everything. Imagine being trapped in your body for decades while at the same time experiencing excruciating pain and not being able to do anything about it. That’s what locked-in syndrome can be like. There’s nothing more horrible that can happen to a sentient being. If this happens to you then you’ll find out that hell really does exist. No matter how bad your situation is now, it can still get infinitely worse. You may only get one chance to end your life. If you do decide to end it, then you must educate yourself first and make sure you don’t end up trapped inside your own body in excruciating pain for years or even decades. I cannot stress that enough.

Note: The Peaceful Pill eHandbook is available only to competent adults capable of taking rational decisions. It is not intended for the mentally ill or depressed. Those with psychiatric conditions should contact their family physicians.

p.s. Providing information on how to end one’s life in a peaceful way is in accordance with the law.

locked-in syndrome should be mandatory medical euthanasia in any non-byzantine society

what about locked-in-but-hammering-hard-on-the-door-to-get-out syndrome?

is there a case for keeping someone alive just in case medical science finds a way to unlock the door?

my question was more about ascertaining the wishes of the prisoner

In Kenya, depending on whom you ask, John Mututho is either a hero or a villain, but in a country consuming ever more alcohol, he is certainly a household name.

http://www.indopacificimages.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/East-Timor_SD_400.jpg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EtLVXBqfqBY

idk days I could go for a bit of locked in syndrome if ppl would promise to be quiet

locked in. but the locks.... are on the *inside*

vetinarii ref

all that i want is some feeling so corny, so impossible, and so ludicrous now that all that's left for me is to crumple slowly around my increasingly empty core until there's just a neutron monument to aboulia

I have just the thing

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aoI5EmArCE0

sometimes it feels like all life is a not coming to terms with not being able to retain, return to or regain those feelings, fleeting if ever felt, so that a dull ache fills your chest, and a listlessness your mind "if i can't have that valuable corny feeling then what is the point of anything."

realise thats a more laborious restatement of what you said, but fuck it, its just by way of saying i might nab your words the next time i'm feeling that way.

on a train thru sussex surrounded by ramblers. listening to messiaen's visions of creation. yr post made me think of rilke's orpheus returning from the underworld. dunno why.

now listening to the shaymen of halifax obv.

i'll play the Shaymen later when the sick loveliness of this feeling has gone away. i'm going out to walk around in the cold and look for god knows who. too late, obv. everything lately is "i blew it"

Allowing myself to drown in an abyssal sadness for days now, allowing it because to shut it out would be to shut myself down to a robot that survives; but I can't survive this, just barely tiptoeing thru public days, back here at night to try to starve as the weeping fits come in and out, hopelessly mourning my youth and my life and my superloneliness, going mad with sadness tbh, tiptyping alone here in bed in the dark, time got away from me, played myself, chances all torn and throwed,

Ignore bad blog move on passers-by, pygmy ozymandian way-shrine, overgrown soon.

Sober.

I'm emphatically not the target audience for the aimless mr spock impersonation so I know how unwelcome this can be but it is, like, empirically not too late

tell me to stfu but it's worth keeping in mind

just hey NV.

yeah can I change my answer

seconding hey NV, best wishes and that

sry for stock answer of the inarticulate but those are genuine and sincere best wishes and not the kind I write on 99% of the cards which are brought round the office