Does the entire Innocent Smoothies aesthetic strike you as deeply fucking irritating?

London Transport twee-ness -- is it a new thing that all tube announcements start with "Ladies and Gentlemen"? Either way, I HATE IT.

is that twee?

via a friend:

Woo Hoo!
Thats the geeks just doing a conga back from the post office where your carefully packed package of headshots are now in the hands of Postman Pat.
In a little while, once they've celebrated another hard days work with a coffee and Kitkat, they'll send you another email with the Royal Mail package number - and a text too.
Now, if you are anything like me you'll go onto the Royal mail website and see where it is - sorry, you'll be dissapointed. The photos are sent 'Signed For" and are not trackable. You'll be able to see they have been delivered - but you'll know that as you'll have the prints!
The prints should be delivered tomorrow (unless that's Sunday or a bank holiday).

And if you are anything like me you'll grab your imaginary machine gun and start liberally scattering bullets into the faces of every living soul within reach in a pique of explicit violence not seen since Postman Pat ran over his black and white cat! ! ! ! Woo Hoo!

London Transport twee-ness -- is it a new thing that all tube announcements start with "Ladies and Gentlemen"? Either way, I HATE IT.

― Chuck_Tatum, Friday, November 7, 2014 12:02 PM (1 hour ago)

That's not twee friendliness, it's formal speech.

I don't think they used to do it, though. It's a weird mix of oldfashioned over-formality and forced bonhomie - usually strapped to some lateness or defect. ("Ladies and gentlemen... the Northern Line is closed today, as is the Metropolitan, the Bakerloo, Finsbury Park is flooded..." etc

"HEY TUBEPROLES, THE TRAINS ARE FUCKED, LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE WALKING"

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/11249609/Tesco-goes-the-extra-mile-with-poetic-reply-to-disappointed-students.html

"We were bitterly disappointed about the lack of popcorn and understandably very upset,"

someone make it stop

tesco mobile's twitter feed is just the worst thing

http://www.buzzfeed.com/scottybryan/this-is-the-best-twitter-conversation-you-will

main tesco twitter is pretty bad too

Tesco @Tesco · Nov 23
Instead of letting it be Monday tomorrow, shall we just have another Sunday? Surely, if enough people agree, it’ll be allowed. Surely…?

St Andrews is the worst. Both as someone from St Andrews, and as someone who went to St Andrews University I apologise for these terrible, terrible people.

#Raisin2014

when some Tesco customer service drone writes better poetry than you maybe time to rethink yr academic career

Given Tesco's recent travails that tweet is just asking for a brutal truthbomb smackdown.

This is a class issue really, isn't it

If you're a chirpy random student lol, this style says 'We are like you', if you're a prole it says 'Fuck you'

http://kfcsharesies.co.uk/

#sharesies

https://www.lindt-shop.de/WebRoot/Lindt/Shops/Lindt/51D6/7BFA/ED19/2298/A61C/D475/4B9E/D720/22451.png

?!?!

new display name btw

nice to sweet you

is that a chocolate bar w/ biscuit bits or simply a dark chocolate cookie?

the former.

the strawberry version is nice.

oh my..

http://www.tosseduk.com/index.php/about-us

jesus christ. infant-level vocabulary and the inescapable suspicion that the employees of tossed have masturbated into every sandwich they send out in their fucking 'eco friendly vroom vroom' is a new depth of creeping awfulness.

you have no idea how irksome i find this shit...

Right on the Mutton!

We use the loveliest lambs from the Dorset Downs breed. These lambs roam freely over the coastal hills, soaking up the view, playing tag and generally putting their feet up, resulting in the tastiest, most tender lamb we could find.

happy lickle animals that just can't wait till that naughty mr bolt gun gets shot through their smiling lamby faces. maybe they've gone the whole innocent smoothy and put stuff like '28 silly old cluck-clucks were shoved through a macerator to make this tasty pot of soup - aw bless!' on their cartons

Can't even put my reaction to that shit into words

There could be a whole other thread on golden rustic farm imagery in British advertising, but I guess it would be harder to catalogue that stuff - packaging on cider bottles and packets of sausages that you throw away - all these golden sunsets and silhouettes of farmers and trees

You know what I mean, the sort of bourgeois-volkisch stuff that runs alongside the Innocent aesthetic and in this case has sort of crossed over

eco friendly vroom vroom is definitely an all time low.

Dear Mildly Absent Museum Lover,

How are you, and the kids, and the mother-in-law, and that slightly sexy friend of hers with the big buck teeth?

'Tis us, The Museum of Everything, apologising for our sombre silence. We have been constructing the museum's new wing, replete with underground sauna, Thai treatment rooms and icy splash pool.

/thread

just checked about half dozen products on this site and they all have a variant of the same spiel

http://www.oddbins.com/de-martino-legado-chardonnay

We love hops - A lot

Despite being Cavemen we try not to use twigs, berries, animal skins or any other nasty stuff in our beer.

We strive to provide the fullest flavour from our beer and as such are inspired by brewers from all over the world, from US breweries hoppiest double IPA's to bittersweet UK porters.

http://www.cavemanbrewery.co.uk/

Caveman Beers - the perfect Christmas gift for anyone following the Paleo diet.

Halfords 'X-mas Bike Pimp Kit' advert - not an IS aesthetic, but somehow it belongs here.

Interesting article about 'quirky urbanism'/'the cutesification of urban design' that I think sort of fits with the theme of this thread: http://nextcity.org/daily/entry/against-playable-cities-urban-design-pedestrian-safety

This paragraph sums it up pretty well: "City-dwellers don't need garbage cans with sound effects, they need more garbage cans, and more frequent trash pickup. Regular bus commuters don't need swings, they need shelter from the elements and reliable information about bus arrival time. Pedestrians don't need to play games at the crosswalk, they need shorter crossing distances, longer walk signals, and better separation from cars."

proto-innocent

http://cdn8.openculture.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/HarrisonUkeNote.jpg

you don't have to be 'crackers' to be into the ukelele

but it helps

Poor armadillos.

Everybody should have and use an 'Uzi'. its so simple to carry with you and its one submachine gun you can't shoot and not laugh! Its so sweet and also very old - some are made of wood - some are made of armadillo's. I love them - the more the merrier - Everyone I know who is into Uzis is 'crackers'. so get yourself a few and enjoy yourselves - love from George (Keoki) Harrison

something something 'UKIP' everyone is 'crackers' etc

is that a cock and balls in the signature?

And one breast.

Natwest, Shoreditch (via https://twitter.com/garethedobson/status/573437644375523328)

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/B_VCf3JW0AAMkai.jpg:large

like a constrictor that cuddles you into its death grip

fuuuuuuck offffffffff

http://i1247.photobucket.com/albums/gg622/bizarrogazzara/Phone_zpspucalwou.jpg

^ encouraging ppl to emulate the father of lies fundamentalist christians boycott imo