sensational
http://www.theonion.com/articles/pathetic-washedup-rock-star-on-fifth-decade-of-doi,37299/
― piscesx, Wednesday, 29 October 2014 13:47 (eleven years ago)
I've been forgetting to check the Onion because of Clickhole, buthttp://www.theonion.com/articles/white-house-receives-letter-addressed-to-gerald-fo,37334/?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_campaign=LinkPreview:1:Default
― my jaw left (Hurting 2), Friday, 31 October 2014 15:02 (eleven years ago)
The Onion Verified account@TheOnionIn Focus: Keira Knightley Answers Fan Letter Way Too Quickly http://onion.com/1u6CwJB
Reply to @TheOnion s.s. lark @louiedadawg 2h2 hours ago@TheOnion how about she is very polite!
Home Bunch @HomeBunch 2h2 hours ago@TheOnion Cry me a river! What a big problem he got in his hands! Gee... "5 minutes of fame", much?
sawseegirl @sawseegirl 2h2 hours ago@TheOnion hhmmm--pretty strange
Hungry Fillbe @HungryFillbe 2h@TheOnion I'm sure there's some irony or something in there, but I liked reading it just at face value :)
graham dempsey @ArtistSurf3r 2h2 hours ago@TheOnion If this is accurate and if true man should have kept this to himself . Shows no respect & is just tacky . GJ pfft .
― Roberto Spiralli, Friday, 7 November 2014 18:37 (eleven years ago)
Ira Glass Exhausted From Doing Every Single Voice On ‘This American Life’
― I'm In The Mood To Munch! (Old Lunch), Friday, 7 November 2014 18:42 (eleven years ago)
(My girlfriend sent that to me in light of my asking, almost every time I overhear NPR, "why is that guy doing an Ira Glass impersonation?". Although, TBF, there's also a show with some dude who does a mean Keillor.)
― I'm In The Mood To Munch! (Old Lunch), Friday, 7 November 2014 18:46 (eleven years ago)
lolling hard
http://www.theonion.com/articles/man-tentatively-takes-shot-at-badmouthing-girlfrie,37443/
― piscesx, Monday, 24 November 2014 02:39 (eleven years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/articles/heavy-police-presence-in-ferguson-to-ensure-reside,37528/
― Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Tuesday, 25 November 2014 00:46 (eleven years ago)
Also this one: http://www.theonion.com/articles/ferguson-pool-supply-store-overestimating-how-badl,37525/
― nickn, Tuesday, 25 November 2014 01:34 (eleven years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/articles/cia-admits-role-in-1985-coup-to-oust-david-lee-rot,37570/
― goole, Tuesday, 2 December 2014 19:59 (eleven years ago)
“The last thing we wanted was to have another ‘Panama’ on our hands,” he added.
― you say tomato/i say imago (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Tuesday, 2 December 2014 20:01 (eleven years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/articles/overworked-prosecutor-thinking-of-taking-police-br,37597
― mookieproof, Thursday, 4 December 2014 19:31 (eleven years ago)
https://twitter.com/TheOnion/status/543150444919660544
― goole, Thursday, 11 December 2014 22:32 (eleven years ago)
perfect
― bizarro gazzara, Friday, 12 December 2014 12:00 (eleven years ago)
http://o.onionstatic.com/images/28/28147/original/700.jpg?2073
I think this is one that really benefits from the implied backstory thing discussed above, imagining kelly being a churlish dick about having to make conversation with people
― soref, Sunday, 14 December 2014 12:34 (eleven years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/articles/i-dont-see-race-i-only-see-grayishbrown-vaguely-hu,37667/
― Doctor Casino, Friday, 19 December 2014 14:18 (eleven years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/articles/temple-university-receives-anonymous-donation-to-b,37500/
― joygoat, Sunday, 28 December 2014 03:59 (eleven years ago)
as narrow-audience onion knockoffs go, the hard times is pretty good
http://thehardtimes.net/2015/01/05/iggy-azalea-clarifies-she-only-listens-to-early-skrewdriver/
― celfie tucker 48 (s.clover), Saturday, 17 January 2015 19:08 (eleven years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/articles/dubai-unveils-plans-for-worlds-largest-human-right,37979/
― Keith Moom (Neil S), Thursday, 12 February 2015 16:27 (eleven years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/articles/government-official-who-makes-perfectly-valid-well,20499/
― touch of a love-starved cobra (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 25 February 2015 19:53 (eleven years ago)
Ikea CEO Wants New Desk On His Desk By End Of Day
― Roberto Spiralli, Friday, 27 February 2015 19:31 (eleven years ago)
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/B_XLxpxWcAIyAPp.png
― mookieproof, Thursday, 5 March 2015 21:10 (eleven years ago)
ouch
― Οὖτις, Thursday, 5 March 2015 21:11 (eleven years ago)
http://i.imgur.com/TrHOB1m.png
― 龜, Tuesday, 31 March 2015 17:03 (eleven years ago)
“Sia sings it? Which one is she again?”
― gr8080, Tuesday, 31 March 2015 18:18 (eleven years ago)
c'mon, i'm pretty sure there's no one named Sia
― the increasing costive borborygmi (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 31 March 2015 18:30 (eleven years ago)
Nighthawks repro in the back is a key touch
― 龜, Tuesday, 31 March 2015 18:31 (eleven years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/articles/man-thinking-about-just-packing-up-and-making-exac,38342/
:O
― 龜, Wednesday, 8 April 2015 11:40 (eleven years ago)
;_;
― Roz, Wednesday, 8 April 2015 11:44 (eleven years ago)
ikr
― mookieproof, Thursday, 9 April 2015 01:31 (eleven years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/video/sony-releases-new-stupid-piece-of-shit-that-doesnt,14309/
― creaks, whines and trife (s.clover), Thursday, 9 April 2015 18:30 (eleven years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/articles/belt-looks-weird-on-child,38404/
― goole, Thursday, 9 April 2015 18:50 (eleven years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/articles/man-reluctantly-deletes-video-of-friend-trying-to,38407/
― ©Oz Quiz© (Adam Bruneau), Friday, 10 April 2015 00:47 (eleven years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/articles/petsmart-manager-does-morning-sweep-of-enclosures,38401/
― creaks, whines and trife (s.clover), Friday, 10 April 2015 21:38 (eleven years ago)
guilty but hearty looool
― difficult-difficult lemon-difficult (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 10 April 2015 21:43 (eleven years ago)
https://41.media.tumblr.com/cd43086e5c395dc54cc373c4d72d2c3c/tumblr_nnmv40zD8E1qkt6yoo1_540.png
― mizzell, Friday, 1 May 2015 13:52 (eleven years ago)
vintage god damn blessings
http://www.theonion.com/article/attempt-to-recreate-incredible-night-out-from-yout-20319
― gr8080, Thursday, 28 May 2015 18:04 (eleven years ago)
holy shit richard yates imho
― entry-level umami (mild bleu cheese vibes) (s.clover), Thursday, 28 May 2015 21:50 (eleven years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/article/urban-polling-centers-recommend-voters-start-linin-50365
― Kiarostami bag (milo z), Thursday, 4 June 2015 20:32 (eleven years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/article/tanned-exquisitely-coiffed-bernie-sanders-tells-su-50589
― joygoat, Saturday, 6 June 2015 17:36 (eleven years ago)
I love this so much.
http://www.theonion.com/article/owner-tearfully-releases-american-pharoah-after-tr-50605
― pplains, Tuesday, 9 June 2015 15:44 (ten years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/article/experts-say-best-option-now-keeping-nation-comfort-50617
― nickn, Wednesday, 10 June 2015 03:24 (ten years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/article/new-law-determines-bullets-no-longer-responsibilit-50623
― Jim Gillette's unused octave (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Wednesday, 10 June 2015 20:17 (ten years ago)
Relate to this so hard
http://www.theonion.com/article/man-forced-come-45-seconds-facial-expressions-whil-50650
― Immediate Follower (NA), Friday, 12 June 2015 17:42 (ten years ago)
definitely not where i saw that headline going
― Doctor Casino, Friday, 12 June 2015 22:22 (ten years ago)
the URL i mean
http://www.theonion.com/article/serial-killer-admits-hes-lost-track-pattern-he-was-50705
― e-bouquet (mattresslessness), Wednesday, 24 June 2015 04:07 (ten years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/article/long-john-silvers-introduces-new-golden-fried-abom-50894
― example (crüt), Thursday, 23 July 2015 12:25 (ten years ago)
lmao
http://www.onionstudios.com/videos/beyond-the-brink-how-the-israeli-occupation-has-made-it-impossible-for-palestinians-to-score-drugs-3070
― global tetrahedron, Monday, 3 August 2015 17:11 (ten years ago)
i just lol'd hard at: Dancing 7-Year-Old Looks To Expand Fan Base From Parents To Parents' Friends https://twitter.com/TheOnion/status/629256884495593472
― Roberto Spiralli, Thursday, 6 August 2015 11:48 (ten years ago)
Holy shit:
New SeaWorld Show Just Elephant Drowning IN Large Tank Of Water With No Explanation
http://www.theonion.com/article/new-seaworld-show-just-elephant-drowning-large-tan-51139
― the top man in the language department (誤訳侮辱), Friday, 21 August 2015 15:28 (ten years ago)