VegemiteGrrl's Home for the Absent-Minded

spoiler -- i had in fact closed the door

I once left the front door to my house completely open for a period of about 5-6 hours while I was away. As far as I know, nobody went into my house.

ive done that for a few hours while i was indoors

Last week I wore my t-shirt inside out to work and did not realize it until I went into the bathroom at lunch.

I also once wore two different shoes to work. They did sort of look alike.

Listening to Led Zeppelin at work. Caught myself just before I attempted to forward an email to Robert Plant. And, no, the name of the intended recipient wasn't even close.

I was checking out at the doctor's office. To my left are the big glass double doors that lead out to the hallway where the elevators are and a smaller wooden door that leads into a supply closet. I grab the key to the women's bathroom, and promptly walk into the supply closet. It takes me what feels like a really long time to figure out what the hell is happening, but it probably was only a couple of seconds. I came out, made a dumb joke, went out the correct doors and to the bathroom.

Then I came back, dropped the key off in the tray on the reception desk, and walked into the supply closet again.

I hope you pretended the second closet trip was an intentional joke. (Bow, "Thank you ladies and germs.")

I ran out the door without making eye contact and then went to a dark bar to hide while I waited for a prescription to be filled.

But I have to return in a week. Sigh.

i have a habit of repeating minor idiocies as well :(

today, i was looking for a plastic wallet to hold some receipts, and picked up my bf's recipe folder to see if it had any spare...flicked through it not once but twice, closed it, put it away, and then realised that at no point had i been concentrating on the presence or otherwise of empty plastic wallets. got it out again, focused, there was one. he was much amused by this :(

is there a thread for clumsiness

after driving the package I was intending to mail around for 2 days, i finally remembered to go to the post office at lunchtime

walk down the hall past all the people waiting at the customer service window, smile at an old man, walk through the door into the post office proper & go over to the table with the customs forms & realize something is amiss

oh yeah. package still in the car

jeeeeeeeeeeeesus christ

BF asks me to grab him a cushion from inside while we're sitting out in the sun. I get up, go inside, make myself a drink... and come back out. Without the cushion. >:|

that is a nutshell summary of my marriage imo lol

lol.

When my wallet isn't in my pocket, I keep it in the same spot on a shelf so I don't lose it. This morning it wasn't there, and I spent five minutes searching for my wallet only to find that I'd put it... in the same position but on the shelf below (points to you if you figured this out before the end of that sentence).

<3

My friend lost her keys, which we finally found in her purse. I asked her why she didn't put them on the hook in the "landing pad" by the front door. She said "If I put them there I'll forget them." ???

Listening to Led Zeppelin at work. Caught myself just before I attempted to forward an email to Robert Plant. And, no, the name of the intended recipient wasn't even close.

― The Size Of A Medium Grapefruit (Old Lunch)

"Thanks you for the sales breakdown for October. I'm not sure what your company does exactly, but you seem to be doing quite well. October was always a big sales month for us, too, what with the holidays just around the corner. Five or six of our albums actually came out in either October or November, and that wasn't an accident. Cheers, mate, and continued success--Robert."

Today I nearly sent an e-mail in which I'd mis-typed the word 'customer' as 'cumster'.

The cumster. The cumarino. The cumski.

Last Thursday it snowed a lot, and I had an appointment...got in the car, drove through hazardous conditions, made it with just a few minutes to spare. Parked in the very slippery, snowy parking lot, and realised I had forgotten to change into my snow boots. I was wearing CROCS.

This morning while I'm standing around waiting for the elevator, K, from the stroller, goes "Shoes!"

yeah, she wasn't wearing any

Perhaps not as bad as the time last year when I put her in the bath with socks on

Dropped a UPS package in the US mail slot yesterday.

y'all are bringing your A-game, makes me teary

ugh, went to go and get some ice and instead I got a scoop of my dog's food. I noticed then faced with the cup/dogfood incongruity. Worse for my dog, I suppose, who thought he was getting bonus food.

our cats' litter tray is in our bathroom. beside the toilet we have a little basket in which we keep a little scoop we use to pick up their poop and drop it in the toilet, saving us from the odour which rolls across the house like a foul brown fog every time a cat takes a dump.

frequently, i find myself scooping up the poop, turning towards the toilet, and then instead of dropping it in the toilet bowl i drop it in the basket instead, sometimes necessitating an ugly cleanup operation. on one occasion i even managed to drop the poop in the basket then drop the scoop in the toilet.

So I'm sitting at my desk at work this morning sort of vaguely wondering why I'm hungry at this time of day and suddenly it occurs to me that I forgot to eat breakfast

*looks down at wallet*
'That's odd, my debit card is missing'
*looks back up again*
'Oh, hang on, it's in the ATM I'm standing in front of'

Surely it can't get any worse than this.

it does

microwave & washing machine are in the same room in back of our house

*puts food in microwave, wanders off
*microwave beeps
*walks back into room & opens washing machine
*sees machine empty, looks around at microwave
*ohhhhh

i also washed my clothes without detergent yesterday

things are going well

I nearly trashed a brand new washing machine last week. I forgot to remove the transit bolts so on its first spin cycle it starts making an unusual racket and violently juddering along the kitchen floor out of the washer bay. The worst thing is it is the second time I have done it and even when connecting it up I thought "note to self: don't forget the bloody transit bolts this time".

oh jeez

bought sausages. ate one and a half before i wondered why they taste so goddamn awful, and realized they were vegan fake-sausage. ate another one and a half anyway.

Today I completely forget dinner plans made with friends until ~10 minutes before we were supposed to meet, while already sitting down to dinner at home.

Put a tray of food in the oven upside down, spent 10 minutes picking potatoes out of the space between the oven door and the oven window, went out for sushi instead.

I can't even imagine how you would do this. Did you flip the tray at some point from table (or whatever) to oven rack?

tonight i left my mind in a cab but it's OK bc i still have my Samsung Galaxy and my headphones

Just a sort of not-concentrating last minute flip. I don't think I could replicate it if I tried.

xp if you've uploaded your mind to the cloud, then it's not a problem.

I was at the office and thought they'd installed electric, automatically opening doors, but it turned out it was just someone opening the door on the other side.

lol

haha that's true snoball

You might lose your memory of all mental activity since the last backup but, meh, it's the weekend so how much likely to be lost really?

not much good point.

the other night i went out and met some fun people at a bar. i said something like brb and went outside to find a smoke, leaving my wallet on the bar in good faith (i know.) well the bartender, who i was talking to as well bc he was friends with the others, comes out to find me, literally walks down the street thinking i had skipped out on my tab. he was so patronizing that i didn't tip him and left, after pointing out that my wallet was right in front of him the whole time. not sure what pissed me off more - his attitude or the fact that i was stupid enough to leave my wallet unattended.

- lost my favorite dead uncle's hat after 26 years (probably left behind at the movies)

- left razor's power cord in Chicago hotel room

- AM/FM pocket radio i bought a couple months ago just to listen to ballgames during the summer now missing

could be the meds :/

:(

that sucks Morbs

That old classic, switching on a kettle with no water in it.

I have on my to do list to fill up the tea kettle every night before bed just so I can avoid that.