new (ish, since February) flatmate has caused much bafflement chez sktsh with his terrible aim and mystifying insistence on always putting down both lids, which - coupled with the fact that he either doesn't notice or doesn't care enough to clean it - means you basically have to hope that there's not a hidden puddle of urine on the porcelain when you lift the lid to go next. (There usually is.) You can always tell when he's been because a) the top lid is down; and b) there's a little puddle of piss on the floor in front of the toilet
― sktsh, Tuesday, 2 September 2014 13:09 (nine years ago) link
is your flatmate 5?
― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 2 September 2014 13:11 (nine years ago) link
i know rite
(he's 29 I think)
― sktsh, Tuesday, 2 September 2014 13:16 (nine years ago) link
i told a doctor friend about this in the pub and he looked very serious and said "perhaps he's got dual streams"
― sktsh, Tuesday, 2 September 2014 13:17 (nine years ago) link
piercing?
― nakh is the wintour of our diss content (darraghmac), Tuesday, 2 September 2014 13:22 (nine years ago) link
the thing that makes the fragrant platform so insulting is that, normally, if your gaze happens upon the water-filled bowl as it's carrying your shit away, no big. but every time you forget to shield your eyes when you flush the shelf toilet, which you will do, because the flushing mechanism is often a button on top of the tank, you will be greeted by a very 3-D demonstration of the specific heft of your payload. the water will rush out from behind it, and the whole mound will be carried, Marshall Will & Holly on a raft style, by this flush-wave down into the lower hole. it will leave streaks. these, too, will be washed away like tears in rain. time to die.
― a full circle lol (J0hn D.), Tuesday, October 13, 2009 8:31 PM (4 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
bravo!
― cajunsunday, Tuesday, 2 September 2014 13:30 (nine years ago) link
xp hadn't occurred but i fucking bet that's what it is. what's the best way to surreptitiously find out? magnets?
― sktsh, Tuesday, 2 September 2014 13:38 (nine years ago) link
mystifying insistence on always putting down both lids
why is this mystifying?
― example (crüt), Tuesday, 2 September 2014 13:41 (nine years ago) link
oh no sorry, badly worded: mystifying in the context of pissing underneath it first.
in other circumstances i'd heartily approve
― sktsh, Tuesday, 2 September 2014 13:44 (nine years ago) link
We got a new toilet, which has a long and shallow bowl and while it's not a shit shelf toilet, let's just say I think about this thread and JD's post a lot.
― carl agatha, Tuesday, 2 September 2014 13:45 (nine years ago) link
― sktsh, Tuesday
pissin magnets, how do they work
― nakh is the wintour of our diss content (darraghmac), Tuesday, 2 September 2014 14:09 (nine years ago) link
Michael Lewis's Vanity Fair essay relating a German fascination with scheisse to the European economic crisis merits a mention.
― panic disorder pixie (Sanpaku), Tuesday, 2 September 2014 17:16 (nine years ago) link
Right after I started to piss, the lower panel of my top coat, which I thought I had positioned safely to the side, fell back into place in front of me. Most of the stream was deflected onto the floor, but some splashed back onto my trousers too.
― how's life, Wednesday, 10 December 2014 13:30 (nine years ago) link
#safespace
― Ecomigrant gnomics (darraghmac), Thursday, 3 March 2016 19:34 (eight years ago) link
the cheap toilet seat in my apartment has this horrible habit of occasionally drifting down while i'm in the act and the result is, when the stars align and i'm the right mix of sleepy or otherwise reaction-time-inhibited, just really awful.
what is my life
― art, Thursday, 3 March 2016 19:47 (eight years ago) link
oh yeah, we've got a "soft-closing" toilet seat or somesuch and you really have to keep your eye on that fucker or it might start drifting down mid-stream.
― how's life, Thursday, 3 March 2016 19:52 (eight years ago) link
"european bathroom series"
― lute bro (brimstead), Thursday, 3 March 2016 20:02 (eight years ago) link
I will piss on my belt, video it and post to ilx to create the positive energy required here
― Ecomigrant gnomics (darraghmac), Friday, 4 March 2016 16:43 (eight years ago) link
Watching anvil the story of anvil
― Ecomigrant gnomics (darraghmac), Saturday, 19 March 2016 00:05 (eight years ago) link