New Apple Lust Objects for 2010 and onward

what if it's not a watch

well have to watch and see

It's a bracelet

that "slaps on"

entirely glass

it's a cock ring that tells time

you can't do that! We've not the technology.

Sex toys are a mature market but the barriers to entry are low. There have been cock rings before but that's what they said about MP3 players.

fit your entire iTunes library on one anal bead

New Apple Lust Objects

Maybe I don't want a larger screen.

If you are making anal beads, you are half way to a rosary. Now you have two new devices!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qb-Kh1oJSGE

So more and more it looks like we're getting iEZpass?

want to know how to hide nude selfies in the secure enclave

important secure-selfie tech^

joe don't give away ideas like that, here's 8 billion dollars

ty

i live there, so please don't pollute it with your filth

something something barriers to entry something something

markers I'm sure you've already read it but there's a really long thing by your guy Gurman about how apple goes about its pr. I saw it and thought of you.

thanks dude! i've looked at parts of it, but it's still sitting in my "reading list" in safari; i should hopefully be reading it soon

Apple today updated its App Store review guidelines ahead of the launch of iPhone 6 and iOS 8, adding sections for new features such as extensions, HealthKit, HomeKit and TestFlight. Additionally, Apple tweaked its introductory remark to specifically call out "creepy" apps as unwelcome in the App Store.

"We have over a million Apps in the App Store. If your App doesn't do something useful, unique or provide some form of lasting entertainment, or if your app is plain creepy, it may not be accepted."

foresee nerds srsly freakin' out over this perceived new sensitivity to creepiness in society.

Not so much nerds, but the skeezy "entrepreneurs" who hire them to build apps.

it's almost time

hype

i doubt they'll call it the iWatch. Not enough ppl wear watches anymore to want a watch of any kind.

ITime

Then again, the company that brought us a phone that many use for everything but talking to each other could bring us a watch used for everything but telling time

iWear would be kinda clever especially if they ended up making AppleGlass or whatever the fuck #shootme

There will be a big U2 announcement at today's Apple event, says The New York Times. In addition to performing, the band will reveal an integration with Apple's products that is connected to its next album, which is expected to come out by the end of the year, according to the Times' anonymous sources.

cool beans

every iWatch will be sold off of Bono's wrist

Larry Mullen, Jr. is Apple's new VP of Creativity

Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if that's true. The worst feature of post-Jobs Apple is celebrity executives.

instead of music yr phone has bono telling you about africa

This would be like introducing the original iMac in 1998 with famous 34-year-old rock band The Who.

shows who they're actually selling the idea of the products to with these overblown media presentations

maybe they can have ariana grande perform in a ten minute version of their product unveiling

tbf, though, if they release a large iphone it would be roughly the size of ariana grande

Whatever they announce today, there sure will be a lot of people who "DESIRE" the new apple product!!!!!!

It's not like Apple would release a LEMON

Wherever Apple leads me, as a consumer, I WILL FOLLOW

yeah, still not sold on the big cell phone

if Apple released a bunch of wild equine into suburban environments, i'm sure people would understand, people would tame the horses, take care of them, treat them as family, it's not like there'd be people going around asking apple HEY APPLE WHO'S GONNA RIDE YOUR WILD HORSES

iPhone catorce

Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if that's true. The worst feature of post-Jobs Apple is celebrity executives.

― Allen (etaeoe), Tuesday, September 9, 2014 10:00 AM (52 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol

http://media1.onsugar.com/files/ons1/192/1922507/25_2009/Steve-Jobs-John-Mayer-2/i/Steve-John.jpg

http://www.melamorsicata.it/mela/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/bono-vox-e-steve-jobs.jpg

John Mayer didn't have an office.

http://www.theawl.com/2014/09/a-complete-guide-to-todays-apple-iphone-iwatch-u2-event

They seem to have this new strategy of releasing two phones at the same time where one satisfies most people and the other is something almost no one wants.

I'm curious which one you think no one wants.