The art of maintaining romance with no money at all

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

Not all messages are displayed: show all messages (156 of them)

It's a different thing when she's drunk, but ANYWAY, let's see, we've got footrub, backrub, brekkie in bed, the sexxxxy thing she likes, hmmm photo collage is great idea but I don't know whether I have the photos. We take photos, they go straight on the fridge. Maybe a really really sweet little note and package of little things I've made, little collages or something. Yes....

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 09:19 (twenty-one years ago)

oral sex, costs no money, keeps the partner satisfied, everyone is happy, everyone gets to eat, a bargain really.

― dickvandyke (dickvandyke), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 09:20 (twenty-one years ago)

It wouldn't be a coupon card without at least one of those.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 09:25 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't 'give' sexual things as presents, because I don't like the taint of doing someone a favour. If I don't enjoy something then I probably just won't do it, tbh, and if I do enjoy it then we'll be doing it anyway so it wouldn't be much cop as a gift.

Things you've made are always the best gifts, whatever they are. A (non-sexually!) personalised cake is my favourite suggestion so far.

― Archel (Archel), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 09:31 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah, i like the idea of a cake or something similar.

― colette (a2lette), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 09:32 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah, thats true. doing sexual things as favours is wrong. its the wrong path.

― dickvandyke (dickvandyke), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 09:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Someone who gave me a photo collage (the gift that says 'look! this is the corner of our room where we prove we've got FRIENDS and a LIFE against all other evidence!') in a clipframe would be shown the door IMMEDIATELY as I object to these on aesthetic grounds.

Free condoms: Terence Higgins Trust
Free art: National Gallery, National Portrait Gallery

― suzy (suzy), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 09:34 (twenty-one years ago)

It's not doing sex as a favour - it's doing sex as a gift! It's making some special into something even *more* special!

― Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 09:37 (twenty-one years ago)

dick, trust me, there's one thing that should definitely be on that coupon.

Cake - or a pavlova. She likes those, and they're not too hard to make.

http://www.lieblingsrezepte.ch/Bilder/pavlova.jpg

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 09:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Hmm, I dunno. If you can say 'I will do a nice sex thing for you because of x' then you can say 'I WON'T do a nice sex thing for you because of x', and witholding sex is the crappest idea anyone ever had. Nobody wins! I just want to remove the because.

― Archel (Archel), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 09:41 (twenty-one years ago)

Plan a really cool walk (if you're in a reasonable sized city, this can be thematically linked with nice architecture and that), possibly incorporating a romantic picnic, and make up a pretty itinerary card for it.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 09:41 (twenty-one years ago)

A really nice thing to do is, when she's out, get lots of candles or tealights (pretty inexpensive) and spread them all around the bathroom. Pipe some sexy tunes in, scatter rose petals in the bath. Help her undress and pour her a glass of wine while she soaks. Heat a bath towel for when she gets out and offer to dry her off.

Works a treat, I promise.

― Penelope_111 (Penelope_111), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 09:42 (twenty-one years ago)

CAKE! Cake is the best gift ever! Man, I love cake. Quickest way to RickyT's heart really is through the cakehole.

― Ricardo (RickyT), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 09:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes suzy, I cannot be corny with this woman.

Penelope and Liz are TOTALLY on the money with those ones.

I once found a $2 hip flask in a second hand store with a leather sheath with the drama happy clown mask/sad clown mask on the front. She LOVED it. I couldn't tell her how cheap it was.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 09:44 (twenty-one years ago)

you could do a picnic/walk that ends with a CAKE! combine all the best suggestions...

― colette (a2lette), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 09:46 (twenty-one years ago)

The picnic, the cake, the wine, then home for a bath with rose petals...

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 09:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Yep.

― Archel (Archel), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 09:49 (twenty-one years ago)

And paint her toenails! If a man took the time and patience to do mine, I'd find that incredibly sexy and romantic.

― Penelope_111 (Penelope_111), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 09:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Then a footrub, then a bagrub.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 09:49 (twenty-one years ago)

A BACKrub. A backrub. Jeeeezus.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 09:50 (twenty-one years ago)

No, see, Archel, I like your idea even less - because it makes sex out to be something you *have* to do with your partner, regardless of how you feel about it. Which is the slippery slope that eventually leads to marital rape.

Some sex acts are more geared towards the pleasure of one partner than the other. They just are. In things like backrubs or cunnilingus or teabagging one partner is very much the receiver and the other the giver. To do it as a special gift *because* you know it's something special for a partner, that, to me, is a better idea than doing it out of obligation or duty.

I mean, *any* of these things - cooking dinner, going for romantic walks with your partner, etc. - are things that one could or perhaps *should* really be doing for your partner all the time in a romantic relationship. Sometimes it's nice to make a big deal out of something simple, that's what keeps the romance in, for me.

But... like I have said, what do I know about romance anyway?

― Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 09:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah you know, they should be done every day, but they aren't are they? And I am no exception.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 09:52 (twenty-one years ago)

I agree with Penelope on the bath (was just about to type it!) but if you are looking for romance rather than a treat, I would suggest having the bath together with candles & wine. I love that the most! Especially if it's with champagne, but I am happy with a cheap bottle of cava!!

― PinXor (Pinkpanther), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 09:54 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah! a bottle of cava, plus a bath-bomb from lush (under £3 and SOOOO luxurious) and some candles= somewhat cheezy but still really sweet and thoughtful romance.

offer to wash her hair, as well. it is so nice to have someone else wash your hair.

― colette (a2lette), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 09:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh, you are so right. Combine applying conditioner with scalp massage and it's a surefire winner.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 09:57 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm putty right now.

― Penelope_111 (Penelope_111), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 09:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes, that's a good one.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 09:59 (twenty-one years ago)

It's in the bag.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 09:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah it IS really nice to make a big deal out of something sometimes, I'd never deny that. Some sex IS different and special for all kinds of reasons.

I just wouldn't want someone to emphasise that they were doing something sexual FOR me, as a present. If they are doing something kinda one-way then I know it's because they want to please me and that's enough, without announcing it. I suppose that's all I don't like, the *announcing* or the edge of bestowing favours.

― Archel (Archel), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 10:00 (twenty-one years ago)

I disagree on the bath front. But I would. I like having baths, but they're private things for me.

― Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 10:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Well I think she's good to go with the bath thing. It's tried and tested, that one.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 10:04 (twenty-one years ago)

whats wrong with someone doing something sexual and nice FOR you? its a nice gesture.

― dickvandyke (dickvandyke), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 10:10 (twenty-one years ago)

teabagging did not come from ILX. Its an age old practice.

― Velveteen Bingo (Chris V), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 10:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes, but I learned the *word* for it on ILX.

In fact, come to think about it, on a thread where I was talking about Joe intruding on my bathtime by coming into the bathroom while I was bathing, and plunking a speaker playing Spiritualized and a BEANBAG on the floor by the bath. Someone misread the post as "teabag" and... well...

― Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 10:29 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah that was me.

― Velveteen Bingo (Chris V), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 10:35 (twenty-one years ago)

BWAH HAH HAH HAH HAH!

You made Joe a very happy man. Well, for a while. Grrrrr.

― Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 10:36 (twenty-one years ago)

ha. i love that the most common theme on a thread about romancing a girl is teabagging.

― colette (a2lette), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 10:37 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm sorry.

It's depressed me, bringing it up, so I am reaping my just desserts... Or deserts, as the case may be. :-(

― Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 10:39 (twenty-one years ago)

"Find threads from I Love Everything, containing teabagging.
35 results found"

AND I STILL DON'T GET IT! What is teabagging? Please spell it out to me in your most blatantly detailed way.

― Hanna (Hanna), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 11:24 (twenty-one years ago)

I think you should ask the same question on the oral sex thread, and you might get a response. PLEASE no one respond here... keep this thread work safe!

― Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 11:27 (twenty-one years ago)

(Sorry, didn't mean to defile the romance thread!)

― Hanna (Hanna), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 11:29 (twenty-one years ago)

It's OK, I already have - just we don't need to get any more graphic here!

― Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 11:30 (twenty-one years ago)

hanna, i've asked for you on the oral sex thread, hopefully someone will answer!

― colette (a2lette), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 11:32 (twenty-one years ago)

done.

― Velveteen Bingo (Chris V), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 11:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Thank you!

― Hanna (Hanna), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 11:45 (twenty-one years ago)

The thought of my other half doing something sexual for me because they know I like it but I know *they* don't is an utter turn-off.

(though sometimes I can convince myself that just this once, they *are* enjoying it)

― Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 12:30 (twenty-one years ago)

It's not so much "don't like it" as "mildly indifferent towards it".

I can't think of any circumstances under which I would do something I actively disliked sexually for a partner. A partner who loved me wouldn't ask me to. (Well, not more than the once it would take to find out that I didn't like it.)

― Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 12:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Essentially I just agree with Archel's theory that even the concept of sexual favours creates relativistic issues that I wouldn't want to deal with. That doesn't mean that within the strict confines of bedroom games it might not be acceptable, but as an actual socio-political tactic it's a dud from the start.

― Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 12:36 (twenty-one years ago)

i think too much is being read into this. If I wanted to lavish some romance on my boy & i thought part of it was oral, then that would be more for him. I enjoy doing it, I wouldn't do it otherwise, but I would want it to be all about him, not about me, that is why you can 'treat' a partner sexually. Invariably I wouldn't do it if I didn't enjoy it.

― PinXor (Pinkpanther), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 12:39 (twenty-one years ago)

x-post to Mark...

Some people have a problem with power games in the bedroom?

But the bedroom is exactly the place FOR power games.

Keep them in the bedroom, keep them out of places in the relationship that they don't belong. (Such as jealousy over the previous life before said relationship, something which *I* personally would find utterly unacceptible in a partner. So it only goes to show that everybody has a different idea of what they would or wouldn't find OK in a relationship - that's why there's chocolate *and* vanilla.)

― Super-Masonic Black Hole (kate), Wednesday, 1 September 2004 12:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Skipping 56 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.