Kids In The Hall - what's your favorite sketch(es)

When he's a big brother and the kid tells him he got a girl pregnant.

When he's flashing back to playing games with his mom.

When he's hosting his painting show:

Now if you remember all great paintings have an element of tragedy to them. Uh for instance if you remember from *last* week, the unicorn was stuck on the aircraft carrier and couldn't get off. That was very sad. Uh and this week some of you wrote in with your suggestions. In fact Mrs. Trabinsky of Paulvale Street wrote in and suggested we give this lover [points to man in painting] a tumor in his head. So, let's begin! Now colour is especially important with a tumor. You want some red [uses brush to take some red paint and moves it to a different part of the palette], and you want some green [takes green paint on brush and mixes it with the red], and you want a little bit of blue [takes blue paint and mixes it with the others] to make it out-- There. Can you see that? That's a really nice colour for a tumor isn't it? Alright. Now, let's work with the colour we've created and add the tumor. [paints tumor on top of the head of the man] Now the thing is we don't want the tumor too big, we don't want to [points to mountains] steal focus from the mountains, okay? And what we'll do is we'll reflect the tumor in the water, down here, but we work again with the colour we've created, [paints tumor on man's reflection] we just sort of imply it because we don't want to wind up screaming, "Hey everyone look! There's a reflection of a tumor in the lake!" It's not what we want. [looking at painting] Well this is uh... quite a sad painting now I think. Perhaps this is the last time our lovers will be here together. I don't think this one will be around the next time ss-the snows settle on the gentle slopes of Mount Schwarzkopf [pointing with brush to mountain] up here.

the weird thing is I'm blanking on my favorite skit.

I'm gonna ask a question. What sort of music do you think there is in hell? You know, H-E-double hockey sticks? Well, I think it's probably hateful, free-form Jazz. And in heaven? Country and Western music. The choice is pretty obvious. It's not Jazz. It's not bop-a-dop bop-be-bop-bo Jazz. [to flutist:] What's that? A recorder or something? I'm not into it. Fuzz pedal, that's what I'm into. You know?

I really liked the one where Foley and McDonald are the French trappers hunting Yuppies for their suits in downtown Toronto. The site of them canoeing down the hall of the office building past cubicles was great.

also:

"you know for a straight man you sure know a lot about faggotry..."

and

"What time is it?"
"It's ten till four."
"No. The time is now."

Also, does anyone remember which one had the flashback of the dad firing hockey pucks at his kid?

2) "I had the pear dream again."

"We are lost..."

3) "I've got a score to settle with a kabob!"

4) "I'm just going to step out this window and see if I can't fly or whatever...."

5) the one where Kevin McDonald is new at the office and Dave Foley plays the psycho who keeps telling the boss things like Kevin pees himself, he's a satanist, etc., but they actually help Kevin with the new job.

6) I like that random one where it's that old guy walking down the street in a leisure suit accompanied by some tune, acting all cool and suave

7) Bruce as the wig shop owner! "Why would I know anything about a wig?!"

8) Running faggot!

9) God is dead!

10) Cyril the Escape Artist

jeez, it's a gold mine on that show.

Dave: MadTV (November 25, 1995)

Dave: Hi. Uhh, yeah, I'm Dave Foley, and I just wanted to talk to you, not just as a middle-rung celebrity, but also as a Canadian who has recently moved to your country.

Now I've been surprised to find how little Americans seem to know about Canada. Now granted, there are many similarities between our two nations but there are also many subtle differences that give us our unique Canadian identity. For example, in Canada everyone hates Barbara Streisand. But here she seems to be quite popular.

And there are other differences too. I mean, we don't have states; we have provinces. Umm, we use the metric system. Canadians and Americans both love football, but in Canada the game is played slightly differently. The field is a different size for one thing, The CFL field is 17 miles long and 6 feet wide. So understandably, games are a little longer. In fact, the 1949 Gray Cup game is still in progress.

Many Americans believe that our national anthem is "Oh Canada" simply because we enjoy singing it before hockey games. But in fact, our anthem is "The Night Chicago Died" by Paper Lace.

Our systems of government differ somewhat in that America is a Republic with a President, a Congress, and a Senate. In Canada we are ruled by a small boy with supernatural powers... of whom we are all very fond.

Now in the U.S. when a mommy and daddy love each other, they perform bipolar sexual intercourse and make a baby. Canadians, however, are a breed of hermaphrodites who reproduce by means of auto-insemination, thus eliminating the need for sex. This also explains why we don't really have a film industry.

And of course, how can we discuss Canada without discussing the weather. Yes, it is cold in Canada. It is very, very cold, are ya HAPPY now?? Yes, the average year-round temperature is 275 degrees below zero, but that is CELCIUS. Now can we talk about something else??

Like for example, the fact that our atmosphere is pure sulpher dioxide which is, of course, incapable of sustaining life, LIFE AS YOU KNOW IT. Or the fact that we only have gravity for 6 hours out of each day and spend the rest of our time desparately clinging to trees to avoid being spun into the endless abyss of space.

Yes, all this is true, but at least we have universal health care.

Thank you for your time.

ok I can't find it. I'll just mention these instead:

Dave Foley w/ Breasts "Danny? Do these look new? Stop Staring Danny."

Scott Thompson wants his wife Kevin to pay more attention to his nipples, she doesn't want to because he pees from them, Scott says "Honey, I pee through my penis" Kevin starts to disgustedly wash his mouth out with water.

Also, "Here's to [Bob?] and ritual murder!"

oh, yeah..

Touch Bellini!

--Buddy C0le on Vice

Dave: Sorry, no can do! Although I'd love to! [turns towards Mark] Oh sure Nina, I experimented with homosexuality in college, but then who didn't? Oh! And I drank human blood! There, I said it and I feel better for having said it!

Buddy doing the Wizard of Oz routine with Tammy and the Tammy video, that's priceless.

Segragation...in the nation...and dance

Tammy Tammy! What do you think of abortion?

um, never on the first date?

the flying pig one

girl drink drunk

bobby terence vs the devil

gavin eating the goldfish

the one where kevin leans back in his chair and is knocked unconscious...

they're all so so so so so good... roll on season 2 DVDs!!