shit that looks like an onion article but isn't

BREAKING: Dollar Tree to buy Family Dollar in deal worth about $9B to create dollar-store giant

http://bigstory.ap.org/article/dollar-tree-buying-family-dollar-85-billion

http://blog.sfgate.com/stew/2014/07/29/apparently-the-bay-area-has-some-of-the-snobbiest-cities/

http://www.haaretz.com/mobile/.premium-1.607888?v=2E5EDB2B54F99F4D315F0539F0B55ABE

Israeli university rebukes professor who expressed sympathy for both Israeli, Gazan victims

'The matter will be handled with appropriate seriousness,’ says 'shocked’ Bar-Ilan University dean after students, parents complain.

tbh it's more like "shit that looks like a Borowitz article" but still

UKIP candidate for Wells Jake Baynes resigns: claims Glastonbury occult infiltrated party

http://www.westerndailypress.co.uk/UKIP-candidate-Wells-Jake-Baynes-resigns-claims/story-22013433-detail/story.html

http://www.haaretz.com/mobile/.premium-1.607888?v=2E5EDB2B54F99F4D315F0539F0B55ABE

_Israeli university rebukes professor who expressed sympathy for both Israeli, Gazan victims

'The matter will be handled with appropriate seriousness,’ says 'shocked’ Bar-Ilan University dean after students, parents complain._

tbh it's more like "shit that looks like a Borowitz article" but still

this is astounding tbh

OMG, part two of the owl saga is equally onionesque:

http://www.haaretz.com/life/nature-environment/1.607076?fb_action_ids=10154442935040584&fb_action_types=og.recommends

His attempt to savage the medical team is a heartening sign.

et tu, hoote?

http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/2014/08/01/obama-news-conference-budget-israel-palestine-russia-ukraine/13470133/

Obama: 'We tortured some folks'

Obama has condemned those techniques as torture before, but his administration has not sought prosecution of possible offenders. The president said Friday that people should remember all the pressure put on national security teams after 9/11, and "it's important for us not to feel too sanctimonious in retrospect about the tough job that those folks had."

dying from that second owl article...

If it really were the onion the body of the article would further tip back and forth between describing the increasingly encouraging improvement of the owl entirely based on how much more gruesome the attacks get day by day.

Garbage Truck Named After Author David Sedaris

I'm not ruling out the possibility that Time.com is an Onion-style website at this point

yeah the original little english newspaper story about it was all over my feed for days, they followed it up a couple of days later w/ a 'so that guy who picks up the garbage is famous in america' story.

that's pretty funny

where's that article about sub-Onion fake news sites?

Apparently this is real :-/

http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/does-this-war-make-me-look-fat/

GRARRRRRRGH!

Just FYI, "Times of Israel" is apparently not an Israeli newspaper, it's just a blog site.

?? wikipedia says its headquarters is in Jerusalem

oh duh you mean blog vs. newspaper

hah okay if it's just a blog then that's not quite so egregious, but even so...

I guess anyway it's a relatively new site? Wiki claims 2 million readers so maybe it's bigger than I thought. I think it's sort of a Huffington Post style site.

I mean, whatever it is, that's the third time this week I have seen something just mind-bogglingly offensive and un-self-aware on the site, this one being by far the least egregious.

wow if that article is the least bad, I dread to think what other stuff it's coming up with

They republished (but almost immediately took down) a piece from a small long island jewish paper posing the "question" of genocide in Gaza. Then another piece appeared in which a blogger likened the Palestinians to the Amalekites (which can be read based on the bible as a coded way of saying they should be wiped out).

http://wonkwire.rollcall.com/2014/08/05/nra-defends-rights-blind-people-guns/

http://mobile.nytimes.com/2014/02/11/world/middleeast/suicide-bomb-instructor-accidentally-kills-iraqi-pupils.html

literally dying

Runner uses Nike+ app to draw penises

Deceased Steve Jobs sued by own shareholders

This is really a headline-only one.

Idaho’s Constitution Party was OK with gay governor candidate until he supported gays

Obama's 'vacation from hell'

related & hilarious & terrible:

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/gadgets-and-tech/news/facebook-to-flag-satirical-articles-to-stop-users-falling-for-the-onions-jokes-9674483.html

that's basically the only good thing left about facebook

onion's response is great http://www.theonion.com/articles/area-facebook-user-incredibly-stupid,36712/

http://nypost.com/2014/08/18/enough-sanctimony-ladies-catcalls-are-flattering/

http://thenypost.files.wordpress.com/2014/08/080814-catcalling-doree-pulse-as571.jpg
so not gonna happen

http://www.salon.com/2014/08/20/co_founder_of_als_ice_bucket_challenge_drowns_at_age_27

no, that's just sad

http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2014/08/21/elementary-teacher-suspended-for-asking-white-student-cops-to-shoot-black-michael-browns/

Kid kills a dinosaur in a story, gets arrested: http://www.nbc12.com/story/26319685/cops-summerville-high-school-student-arrested-after-writing-threatening-message-on-assignment

I mean first of all, we don't have dinosaurs anymore.

I love this woman

This thing, I swear:

http://m.sfgate.com/opinion/openforum/article/Techies-riding-Silicon-Valley-shuttles-are-not-5704848.php

'So seniors, disabled folks and outraged citizens - please stand back, stop protesting those tech shuttles, and set them free. My son has a dream to get to: the American Dream.'

Susan Ahern of Richmond, Va., is the mother of a computer engineer who lives in San Francisco and works in Silicon Valley.

that kid's either really embarrassed or really troubled

How the Irish Got Jobs at Google

From the headline, I actually thought this *was* an Onion piece:

http://www.salon.com/2014/08/21/college_dudes_worried_that_movement_to_take_rape_seriously_is_ruining_their_sex_lives/

incredible strawman of a headline

best/most onionlike part of that article is the stock photo