worst commercials on television

The ones with the giant marionettes interacting with people.

mummy, what's neu-ter-ing?

The new "I've fallen and I can't get up" ad with a woman at the bottom of her basement stairs crying and yelling "HEEEELPPPP!" is just a little too realistic and horrifying.

There's one about Chicken wrappers where the dad starts rapping that I find really wearing.
I think there are another couple that I tend to hit the remote over but I can't think what they are right now.

this creepy miller lite commercial where they claim the invention of lite beer led to your, the viewer's, conception

SIX CALLERS AHEAD OF US, JIMMY

Some of these commercials these days make me miss the good ole days of Go Meat!

For instance, those Geico ones: "Everybody knows that ... yeah but did you know that ... " Ugh.

The new Blu e-cig ad with the soul song in it is terrible - Stephen Dorf livin' it up in various C-list ways, the line "TAKE BACK YOUR FREEDOM" apparently designed to appeal to angry white guys - but that song is fucking hilariously bad:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kFVYMP1skvk

It's apparently by a band called T-Bird and the Breaks, which... yeah. Perfect.

Recent terrible songs in commercials:

Some fake Fred Cole sounding guy singing too fast to be deciphered over modern garage pop, required catchy "WHOOO HOOO OOOOH OOOH" chorus inserted as predictably as computer code. Car commercial. Garage-indie-pop bands really need to stop selling songs to commercials.

Think this other one is for a clothing store or something, pseudo-mod-soul vibe with a woman singing what sounds like "You and me we could be BAEH-FOOT-AHN, perception to get AROUND, WHAHH-OHH WHAHH-OHH."

I just last night saw a nauseating commercial for an IBS medication with this thing as the mascot:

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CSMxKqmUcAAHByg.jpg

And yes, it is indeed an anthropomorphic pile of intestines. At one point, this horrific thing sits down for a meal and tucks its napkin between the ropes of intestine. It was to barf.

Good god.

I think I contracted IBS from that commercial.

all of them

"I'm in the Buick."
"BUHHHH I DON'T SEE ANY BUICK!!!!!!!!!!"

Essentially they're saying "yeah, our cars are shit but now they don't look like shit. As much."

"You won't believe it's a Skoda"

Fuckin Bon Jovi shilling for some cable company.

Those are horrible, but the Chevy focus-group campaign is worse. Almost revived this thread to gripe about those.

3) Two dudes playing piano with their cocks (Aus erectile dysfunction ad [fucking horrendous])

ILX posts that haunt you.

Those are horrible, but the Chevy focus-group campaign is worse. Almost revived this thread to gripe about those.

yeah definitely. wish I could explain why they piss me off so much, guess it's just the toxic smugness of bearded guy + the incredible stupidity of the totally-not-fake focus group..."IS THIS A LEXUS!? DOES IT COST FIFTY THOUSAND DOLLARS!??"

"...and I want you to reply IN EMOTICONS!!!"

"If I throw eggs at you, will you be more likely or less likely to buy a Chevy?"

"How many fingers would you be willing to chop off to drive this pickup?" *places meat cleaver on butcher block*

The apple ad with this shite, maudlin British hip-hop track about a guy who, sigh, just wishes he had a little sister

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7HiB-hNt_mw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K8UV7SAhvG4

Marco! Polo!
Marco! Polo!
Marco! Polo!

I just found out the bearded actor in the Chevy ads is named Potsch Boyd. And now I'm ready for the earth to die in nuclear fire.

Afoot and light-hearted I take to the road
Healthy, free, the world before me

OKAY I GET IT, FUUUUUUUCK OFF WITH YOUR WALT WHITMAN

THE SEVERED HEADS OF CHILDREN SING TO YOU OF THE FUTURE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e1b-Zt2IJl8

"in 200 feet, stop for what most people consider "authentic" Cajun food"

when our phone ais become insufferable hipsters

That Dorito's one where they say the chips are like having a baby dragon. WTF

one for the stoners that

R-O-C-K IN THE U-S-A!
R-O-C-K IN THE U-S-A!
R-O-C-K IN THE U-S-A!

30 seconds later

R-O-C-K IN THE U-S-A!
R-O-C-K IN THE U-S-A!
R-O-C-K IN THE U-S-A!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQYkgEJ4_WE

So the endless gospel sample in the Chromebook ads says "First you got a light bull due/Then you got a gas bill too" and I at least know that. But I kind of never want to hear that remix ever again ever.

dilly dilly

where did that shit come from, that's not even real, you'd be kicked out of the ren faire for that shit

tbf i'd probably think it was really funny if i were 8yo

https://i.stack.imgur.com/ADPFV.png

fuck you

also the real spokesperson's actual name is 'potsch boyd'

this is undoubtedly the worst thing i've ever watched pic.twitter.com/G08EvRQ6du

— Florb Netterson (@comicpanopticon) May 28, 2019

war criminal slidin into home

nobody's said it for many years now but fuck Wolfmother for that shit-ass T. Rex song about livin' free that's in a commercial every ten seconds.

fake T. Rex song obv

i fuckin hate potsch boyd

That smarmy bearded TD Ameritrade financial advisor who sits back, legs crossed (always in a dark green room) and wheedles his newly affluent marks. Sit up straight, dork! And wear a tie.

any commercial that uses a version of "go your own way"

there are THREE right now. one drug ad, one for a kids movie, one for a pickup truck.

also hard agree on the Ameritrade guy

yes FUCK THIS GUY

that Peloton ad is causing a hell of a shitstorm online

I don't really buy the idea that it's necessarily sexist or problematic but it is deeply weird, it kinda reminds me of the commercials I grew up with in the 90s that had bad actors and told bizarre stories that clearly weren't focus grouped at all

what's up with the walmart ready player one thing?

i think i figured out the theme: they all have some sort of sci-fi ship. they are trying to make the fact that you have to drive to a walmart cool, when their competitors will just mail the stuff to your door.