girls, gurls, grrls: c/d, s/d

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Also, you know all those "how do I talk to girls/guys" threads and all? Jess, you have a bucket full of conversation material right here, and the bucket has a sign on it that says "you kneed me in the balls." You don't have to be all "how do I act all casual and shit," you don't have to manufacture excuses to say things, you can talk about getting kneed in the balls. The conversation writes itself, obligatorily sweet-a-week-later awkwardnesses and all.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Mr Fancypants would pay like a million dollars to be you today, Jess.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:02 (twenty-two years ago)

often, these days, at night, i will be lying in bed as i am about to fall asleep, and i will feel as if i am hurtling very fast in the dark towards a large, unknown, intractable black surface, and when i connect with that surface i will go splat and that is it

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:03 (twenty-two years ago)

i dont know quite what this has to with that, but there's a connection, i think

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:04 (twenty-two years ago)

franz ferdinand.

― g--ff (gcannon), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:04 (twenty-two years ago)

oh man, they suck!!

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:06 (twenty-two years ago)

i do have to say i feel a bit more comfortable going back from "ilx's hero" to "ilx's comedy monkey boy"

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:07 (twenty-two years ago)

such a fine line.

― g--ff (gcannon), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:09 (twenty-two years ago)

all of my pride has soured into embarassment

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:10 (twenty-two years ago)

don't get all weepy now. you've had a long day.

― g--ff (gcannon), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:11 (twenty-two years ago)

...and you haven't finished your juice...

― ModJ (ModJ), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:11 (twenty-two years ago)

i'm gonna go lay down. let us let this thread die down now.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:14 (twenty-two years ago)

you're reminding me of Al Pacino's voiceover at the end of Carlito's Way

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:16 (twenty-two years ago)

my balls hurt. i'm going to bed.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:19 (twenty-two years ago)

goodnight strongo. fwiw i don't think this was embarrassing at all.

― mark p (Mark P), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Getting digits and some smooching is not embarrassing. It's a bit on the "romantic comedy starring Rena Sofer and Antonio Sabato Jr., from the makers of _Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot!_" side, but it's not embarrassing. Balls heal, chicks dig awkwardness, and a kiss is a kiss. Sleep it off, Strongo, and tomorrow will become the oyster wherein the gritty shitass sand of your life will become a smooth, opulent pearl. Or, yeah, that.

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Why in hell would a gay guy freak out upon seeing a guy and a girl kiss anyway? Jesus christ... do you live in an American sitcom, Jess?

― donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:36 (twenty-two years ago)

was the girl Debra Messing?

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Well, Donut Bitch, the record store job is the wacky 'main set,' the coffee shop is the slightly less wacky second set, and home is the part where he calls Orson every night to talk about crazy Earth ways.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:38 (twenty-two years ago)

So, who's Small Wonder, then?

― donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:45 (twenty-two years ago)

DB, please. Small bot girl saying 'wacky' things...ring any bells?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:48 (twenty-two years ago)

What?

― donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:53 (twenty-two years ago)

anyway, I want to know if this girl's skittish gay co-worker is played by either Chris Catan or Bronson Pinchot.

― donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:54 (twenty-two years ago)

http://images.southparkstudios.com/media/sounds/801/LETSFIGHTINGLOVESONG.wav

― ModJ (ModJ), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:55 (twenty-two years ago)

fyi jess:
1) awkward flirting
2) ask out
3) smooches
4) sexing

for future reference

― rgeary (rgeary), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:56 (twenty-two years ago)

(getting kneed in the huevos can be inserted between any of those steps, actually)

― rgeary (rgeary), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:56 (twenty-two years ago)

this is truly an outstanding story in any case

― rgeary (rgeary), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:57 (twenty-two years ago)

i liked the part when the coworker came in and said "OH MY GOD OH MY GOD"! i mean who reacts like that to people kissing anymore!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Someone either played by Chris Catan or Bronson Pinchot.

― donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 02:59 (twenty-two years ago)

"Protect my balls"

― ModJ (ModJ), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 03:00 (twenty-two years ago)

that's chris KATTAN you poseur!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 03:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Or maybe he's played by this guy...

http://www.kuci.org/~brianm/ile/clowell.jpg

― donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 03:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Settlers Of Kattan.

A Strategic Romp Through A Hexagonal Maze To Showcase He Who Can Effect The Most Obvious Gay Man Stereotypes All The Way To The Rose Garnished Road To Victory.

― donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 03:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Or she's like MARRIED or something and had to cover.

― Kim (Kim), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 09:24 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't know why I began that sentence with "or".

― Kim (Kim), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 09:26 (twenty-two years ago)

i'd go hoarse if i yelled 'oh my god!' at everyone kissing publicly in this town

that is a great story, the george bush detail made it ever greater though, like an epic

― amateur!st (amateurist), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 10:43 (twenty-two years ago)

i've had some time to think about this (in my sleep) and all i can figure is that a. gay dude was being "theatrical" (everyone in the shop seems "friendly" enough) b. she got embarassed c. she got nervous since i guess (a) i wasn't supposed to be behind the counter and (b) i wasnt supposed to be sexin the employees.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 10:53 (twenty-two years ago)

if some aspect of my life doesn't calm down soon though - money, career, personal life, family - i'm just gonna go live in the woods.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 10:55 (twenty-two years ago)

davo crockington

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 10:56 (twenty-two years ago)

It all sounds great to me. Call her, ask her out, make sweet sweet love to her. Assuming your nadgers still work.

― Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 11:05 (twenty-two years ago)

well i have to go listen to snow patrol and franz ferdinand for another eight hours straight

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 11:11 (twenty-two years ago)

first, that is

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 11:11 (twenty-two years ago)

OH TIS A HARD ROAD I TREAD

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 11:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Also, where are the pics of her you promised us? Huh?

― Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 11:14 (twenty-two years ago)

momentofcojonesimpact.mpg

― Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 11:14 (twenty-two years ago)

I wonder if the ball-breaking was actually an 'adult' form of the old 'playground flirting' routine.

― Barima (Barima), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 11:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Maybe at this point, I'd be happy for a girl to knee me in the balls. At least it shows she cares enough to do so.

― Barima (Barima), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 11:26 (twenty-two years ago)

what a romantic!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 14:47 (twenty-two years ago)

she shouldn't have kneed strongo like that, I'm feeling rather sad now.

― jel -- (jel), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 14:48 (twenty-two years ago)

anyway, I blame the skittish guy! Why couldn't he have just stayed out the back?

― jel -- (jel), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 14:49 (twenty-two years ago)

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