The dying days of the Fourth Reich: it's the 2007 AUSTRALIAN FEDERAL ELECTION

Classic front page on today's Sunday Age:

John Howard, Ben Cousins and Paul Mullett sharing the fron page.

Currently that trio would be the three least employable people in Australia.

But who's going to be the new Socceroos manager? It's the more wide open election now.

No Dick Advocaat now...maybe Jurgen Klinsmann?

GO FOR GROWTH is now joined by DON'T RISK OUR ECONOMY WITH LABOR.

Clearly they listened to all the commentators who said mixing messages is killing the campaign. Dense.

By this I mean Howard's making all his speeches in front of two differently-coloured backboards, each with a different slogan. It even looks disorganised.

Well, it's all over now: http://www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/story/0,22049,22774600-5001031,00.html

When even the fucking Daily Telegraph turns on you, you're stuffed as a Liberal PM.

Still, our old friends at the Melbourne Nazi Party Newsletter Herald-Sun are sticking to the cause because THE SOCIALISTS ARE HIDING UNDER THE BED TO STEAL OUR PLASMA TELEVISIONS!!

K****** K****** left the group Am I tired of Kevin Rudd asking himself rhetorical questions? Yes.

;_;

The Herald Scum is far more centrist than it used to be. A new editor came on last year and he's not your typical Murdoch extremist right-wing nazi.

Oh and note that the Telegraph editorial doesn't recommend Rudd without sucking off Howard about 12 times.

Well, as if they were going to fully get away with it!

Turnbull on track to lose seat.

I wish things would start happening today.

I know--the tension is killing me.

IT'S ON

Daily Telegraph headline: LIBS AT WAR

With even the Tele turning against them, they're fucked.

MORE

Former New South Wales Liberal leader Peter Debnam has broken ranks with the Federal Coalition, saying the Kyoto protocol should have been ratified long ago.

Why would a Liberal break ranks five days from the election? IT'S ON CUNCE.

I've just had a flash-back to the last ep of the second series of 'House of Cards' where Sir Ian McKellen plays a detestable Tory PM whose tenure looks absolutely on its beam end, so MI5 arrange his assassination to smooth the path of his successor.

The spin-doctors here have five days to stage a botched half-assed 'attempt' on Howard's life, where neither his nor anybody else's life is ever remotely in any danger, but is still dramatic enough to lead the nightly news and realistic enough to be convincing until Sunday. Logistically is it possible? Because that is one of the few scenarios in which the coalition is salvageable.

It's looking that way.

It'd take the wind out of my sails if Howard were assassinated. I want to see the fuck go down hard, not be some kind of martyr for racists.

Hey and tomorrow's Newspoll is the one that makes Howard and his men go all mental every time it widens. A dip is likely, followed by an explosion that'll make what's happened today look like Songs of Praise.

Can we not talk about assasinations? I dont like testing the fates.

I'm really starting to get scared now.

I don't know if it's just a collective last-minute fear that Labor will lose ground in the final days, but I'm a giant bag of nerves today. Terrified that someone on the ALP front bench will pull a handshake moment and flub the entire campaign.

Yes two big things went wrong for the Coalition today but I need MORE ffs. I've got to be, got to be certain.

byoobs, innit

^Obviously trying to "me, too" Rudd there.

Christing fuck!

Prime Minister John Howard says if the Coalition wins Saturday's federal election a future Labor government would never be able to repeal the Government's controversial WorkChoices legislation.

"If we win on Saturday then the reforms that we have brought about will never be reversed by a future federal Labor government," he said.

"They will become part of the furniture. They will become so embedded in our business and workplace culture that no future Labor government would be able to reverse them."

Sounds like a warning, doesn't it?

Yet another gift to Labor. This game is over.

Yeah uhhh... that just sounds like a baldfaced threat! WTF, is he insane?

I mean at this point, he might as well be getting dragged away by the authorities, shaking his flabby little fist and shouting "I would have got away with it, if it wasn't for those meddling kids!".

It does seem weird that, after spending several months spending our money on ads pushing the bloody thing, knowing fully well that the country hates it, that today -- five days before polling -- he's telling the electorate that now is your only chance to get rid of them.

This may look like a totally misguided strategy with no grounding in reality, but upon closer inspection it becomes clear that Howard is a senile fucking spazmo.

All Labor needs is a soundbite of this speech and it's won the election in a stupendous avalanche.

Of note is that Rudd wouldn't make a dopey mistake like that in a pink fit.

The thing that still depresses me is the kind of nongs who would still vote Lib now are the quiet, uninterested ones who wont have paid a whit of attention to any of this, dont care who's up in their electorate, and only pay attention to Today Tonight and Kochy. They'll still vote liberal, and there's probably more of them than we'd like to think.

Like my mum last time round - not that I mean to imply she puts no thought into anything, thats not the case - but when I asked her why Liberal she said "because its what Ive always done and Labor is no different".

People like that are dense. I'm sorry but they are. My parents are exactly the same. Somehow voting for a racist bastard who has the blood of 90,000 Iraqis on his hands is just fine "because I've always voted that way."

Allegiance is fine, as long as you're not thick as pigshit about it. Supporting Howard is not fine.

When Rudd gets in, I'm expecting my dumb bigoted family to wait for Rudd to do something vaguely undesirable (e.g. increase parking fines by 2%) and go "well you wanted him in." My response is easy: "How many wars has he started? How many gays/muslims/etc has he gone out of his way to marginalise? How many rich/poor divides has he widened?"

Sorry but this attitude really fucks me off.

Everyone in my family is voting Greens :D

My gf's family are total Howardites tho

Howard voters ask "what's in it for me." Left voters ask "what's in it for us." Us being everyone, including disadvantaged and marginalised people. Howard voters are selfish cunts who drive SUVs to the shops.

Yes I'm angry, and I think I have every right to be.

Democracy is supposed to give us a choice. Nobody with a conscious has had a choice for many years.

settle down there, slugger

Alas, he's right. As an amended Liberal candidate poster across the road from my work says, 'Selfish pricks, vote LIBERAL!'
BTW it was the late, great Ian Richardson in 'House of Cards' as Francis "FU" Urqhuart. And that bastard Mitterand did it for real (faking an assassination attempt to get re-elected), and it worked.

All this shit about unions really pisses me off, too. Somehow, nobody ever mentions the Chamber of Commerce being the union for business owners, or the Liberal-leaning AMA being the doctor's union. They somehow only count as unions if they're Labor-leaning.

Yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyep.

Newspoll shows a slight closing of the gap, but within statistical variance. Damn. I wanted a widening just to see the bastards collapse.

Telegraph's leading with a cover story about the tradie guy in the Labor ads being a Robbie Williams impersonator and not a real tradie. WHAT U MAEN HE IS AN ACTOR??!?!?!?

Fucking pathetic.

And the Government Gazette (Australian) says:

Labor goes into the final days of the election campaign with a clear winning lead and voter satisfaction with Kevin Rudd back to near-record levels.

This surely has to invoke mutiny.

Regarding the Tele's omgexposé of ALP ads having an omgactor in them, from The Age:

"If, at the end of an ad it says spoken by Trent Bowater, it takes you 30 seconds to go and google Trent Bowater," (Rudd) said.

"I mean, if there's any great sort of attempt to disguise this fella's identity and what he does, I mean he wouldn't put his name there."

At least he's not a convicted criminal, like those blokes in the Coalition's UNION THUG ads.

Being a Robbie impersonator is a trade, of sorts.

All this shit about unions really pisses me off, too. Somehow, nobody ever mentions the Chamber of Commerce being the union for business owners, or the Liberal-leaning AMA being the doctor's union. They somehow only count as unions if they're Labor-leaning.

This is a fucking brilliant point and I am going to use this in an argument if I have to. At xmas. Which I'm sure will happen after me dad's had a few too many ales.

this week is taking forever

Isn't it fucking just.

I notice the term "WorkChoices II" has worked its way into the campaign thanks to Labor. Brilliant.

Also Howard has (again) accused Labor of arrogance. Next: Postman Pat accuses Bob the Builder of being a postman.

MORE IMPLOSIONS

Senator Joyce has said he would not block Labor's industrial relations laws in the Senate if the Opposition wins government on Saturday.

"I don't see a huge amount of difference that is evident in Labor's policy," he said.

(...)

The Nationals' candidate for the Queensland seat, Glenn Churchill, says he is keen to ask Senator Joyce about the issue.

"Gidday Barnaby, is he looking for a 'barney'? That's his line I think," Mr Churchill said.

So Joyce prepares to weaken WorkChoices, and another National senator attacks him.

Meanwhile Labor is unrelenting. I'm telling you, the fat lady is warming up.

I don't know if I mentioned Howard yesterday telling people that WorkChoices will be irreversible if the Coalition gets back in (WHAT THE FUCK IS HE THINKING?!?!?!???), or the new magical rain-making machine that Turnbull bought for $11 million sight unseen.

I think his logic must be that there are people planning on voting Labor just 'cause they think he's passed it, and they assume policy will be much of a muchness under Labor. So, you know, 'don't think you're just voting for a fresh face on same old shit, there will be REAL CHANGES'. I'm not saying it's a good argument, just what I figure the strategy is.