most news is like that too iirc
― socki (s1ocki), Tuesday, 17 June 2014 18:43 (twelve years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/articles/sonny-corleone-would-still-be-alive-today-if-he-ha,36297
― polyphonic, Tuesday, 17 June 2014 19:16 (twelve years ago)
10. Not sure how we’d do this or what would be in it, but the idea is that the first time you view the GIF, it’s not funny at all and is very confusing. None of the pieces seem to fit together. You can’t discern the whole image. But the second time you view it, it becomes very funny. Your laughter is sudden, irrepressible and hard to explain. You feel liberated and even cruel. The third time, however—and for reasons just as obscure to you—the GIF makes you terribly sad. During the third iteration, you desperately want to cry, but you feel that doing so would ruin something fleeting.
Again, we don’t know what’s in this GIF, but it’d repeat every 4 or 5 seconds. Blue background.
total karl malone vibes
― schlump, Tuesday, 17 June 2014 23:48 (twelve years ago)
Haha yes I was just coming here to say the same about that :)
― the Bronski Review (Trayce), Wednesday, 18 June 2014 02:00 (twelve years ago)
12. Stephen Hawking dunking a basketball from the free throw line, then pumping his fist
NOTE: Should be clear in the GIF that we’re NOT making fun of Stephen Hawking. If anything, we are on his side, laughing with him.
― linda cardellini (zachlyon), Wednesday, 18 June 2014 03:08 (twelve years ago)
gtfo
― sinister porpoise (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Wednesday, 18 June 2014 14:27 (twelve years ago)
i'm late on this but that clavin and hobbes video, whoo boy
― Every post you make is dripping with failure (stevie), Wednesday, 18 June 2014 14:33 (twelve years ago)
calvin and hobbes. clavin and hobbes would be something else altogether.
― Every post you make is dripping with failure (stevie), Wednesday, 18 June 2014 14:34 (twelve years ago)
now imagining a version of that video with norm fucking cliff
You say that as if we probably can't Google one up right now.
― Disagree. And im not into firey solos chief. (Phil D.), Wednesday, 18 June 2014 14:38 (twelve years ago)
whats even funnier abt the calvin and hobbes video is how it spits out when shared on facebook:
http://i.imgur.com/ZgcvUBD.png
― °ㅇ๐ْ ° (gr8080), Wednesday, 18 June 2014 14:41 (twelve years ago)
ha! pvmic
― Every post you make is dripping with failure (stevie), Wednesday, 18 June 2014 14:42 (twelve years ago)
I made a thread Bait My Clickhole
― 龜, Wednesday, 18 June 2014 20:05 (twelve years ago)
OK lolhttp://www.clickhole.com/quiz/aerosmith-angry-you-328
― the Bronski Review (Trayce), Friday, 20 June 2014 11:26 (twelve years ago)
Trayce you're not baiting my clickhole
― 龜, Friday, 20 June 2014 11:31 (twelve years ago)
and now for an awesome non-clickhole slideshow:
http://www.theonion.com/articles/names-for-william-h-macy-around-the-world,36336/
― Darin, Monday, 23 June 2014 21:17 (eleven years ago)
A Croatian friend explained to me that Kevin Costner is Croatian for "your mother's chiropractor."
― Hier Komme Die Warum Jetzt (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 24 June 2014 01:01 (eleven years ago)
That may be the single greater fact I know.
― Hier Komme Die Warum Jetzt (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 24 June 2014 01:02 (eleven years ago)
Breaking: LeBron James Leaning Toward Joining Al-Qaeda
― Queef Latina (Phil D.), Wednesday, 9 July 2014 00:46 (eleven years ago)
Thought for sure that would have something to do with Binyam Mohammedhttp://o.aolcdn.com/photo-hub/news_gallery/6/4/649107/1265844393775.JPEG
― tsrobodo, Wednesday, 9 July 2014 03:24 (eleven years ago)
whoa
― 'arry Goldman (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 9 July 2014 03:26 (eleven years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/video/the-onion-reviews-dawn-of-the-planet-of-the-apes,36436/
― 'arry Goldman (Hurting 2), Friday, 11 July 2014 15:23 (eleven years ago)
ha ha awesome
― Darin, Friday, 11 July 2014 18:44 (eleven years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/articles/study-finds-humans-only-animals-capable-of-recogni,36444/
― da croupier, Friday, 11 July 2014 21:56 (eleven years ago)
http://o.onionstatic.com/images/26/26592/original/700.jpg?8037
― mattresslessness, Tuesday, 15 July 2014 16:44 (eleven years ago)
*gasp*
― goole, Tuesday, 15 July 2014 16:45 (eleven years ago)
lol @ clarence thomas
― Roberto Spiralli, Tuesday, 15 July 2014 16:59 (eleven years ago)
genius
― a biscuit/donut hybrid called “bisnuts” (stevie), Tuesday, 15 July 2014 19:13 (eleven years ago)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PwSzuIW_Klc
― °ㅇ๐ْ ° (gr8080), Wednesday, 16 July 2014 17:33 (eleven years ago)
Oh my god, that's great.
― oblique blasphemies (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Thursday, 17 July 2014 03:20 (eleven years ago)
haha that is great
― balls, Thursday, 17 July 2014 03:31 (eleven years ago)
yeah love that
― gbx, Thursday, 17 July 2014 13:35 (eleven years ago)
Lol'd at Lance Armstrong with the N64, also respect for importing the JDM version of Mario Kart 64 instead of waiting for the American release, cause otherwise they would have had to say 1997 ;)
― 龜, Thursday, 17 July 2014 13:42 (eleven years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/video/comiccon-exclusive-michael-bay-gives-fans-sneak-pe,36528/
― goole, Thursday, 24 July 2014 17:52 (eleven years ago)
wish their vid player wouldn't crap out on me every time
― linda cardellini (zachlyon), Friday, 25 July 2014 00:38 (eleven years ago)
that's real funny tho
― linda cardellini (zachlyon), Friday, 25 July 2014 00:40 (eleven years ago)
The crawl/ticker on that is pretty funny: "Hollywood community shocked, saddened that Charlie Sheen was found alive in his home."
― Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Friday, 25 July 2014 02:23 (eleven years ago)
That was in one of those not-quite-The-Onions right after Phillip Seymour Hoffman died.
http://waterfordwhispersnews.com/2014/02/02/charlie-sheen-found-alive-in-his-new-york-apartment-aged-48/
― pplains, Friday, 25 July 2014 03:00 (eleven years ago)
BuzzFeed Writer Resigns In Disgrace After Plagiarizing ‘10 Llamas Who Wish They Were Models’NEWS • Our Annual Year 2013 • News Media • Internet • News • ISSUE 49•22 • May 29, 2013
BuzzFeed Politics Writer Is Fired Over PlagiarismBy RAVI SOMAIYA JULY 26, 2014
― 龜, Sunday, 27 July 2014 00:33 (eleven years ago)
so... you're saying the *next* TMNT movie will actually have CGI peni?
― poop will eat itself (S-), Tuesday, 5 August 2014 03:40 (eleven years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/articles/new-law-requires-welfare-recipients-to-submit-swea,36626/
― Vinnie, Wednesday, 6 August 2014 17:06 (eleven years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/articles/dates-flaws-coming-at-woman-faster-than-she-can-ra,36629/
― 龜, Wednesday, 6 August 2014 22:41 (eleven years ago)
last paragraph ftw
― mookieproof, Thursday, 7 August 2014 00:42 (eleven years ago)
so good.
― °ㅇ๐ْ ° (gr8080), Thursday, 7 August 2014 00:47 (eleven years ago)
That Ninja Turtles bit was hilarious.
― schwantz, Thursday, 7 August 2014 19:58 (eleven years ago)
I miss when their videos were of this caliber:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t8fnoZXrmdU
― global tetrahedron, Sunday, 10 August 2014 16:08 (eleven years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/articles/homosexuality-only-thing-parents-can-accept-about,36622/
― Johnny Fever, Sunday, 10 August 2014 16:17 (eleven years ago)
xp I've never been called anything worse than a big black fuck ox.
― Johnny Fever, Sunday, 10 August 2014 16:20 (eleven years ago)
that line kills me every time. i love it when they pull off something genuinely hilarious but couple it with genuine insight and commentary. doesn't always happen, but when they're on, man are they on!
― global tetrahedron, Sunday, 10 August 2014 17:03 (eleven years ago)
I take it this is how the onion announces they're getting into the sponsored content game or has it been going on for a while?
The Onion @TheOnion 11mIf you believed some websites still had the integrity not to shill for sponsors, you’re as dumb as we thought http://onion.com/1uiMUi2 #SPON
― anonanon, Monday, 11 August 2014 16:36 (eleven years ago)