God bless the goddamn Onion

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― 龜, Tuesday, 17 June 2014 18:39 (eleven years ago)

A friend of mine pointed out that 90% of Onion articles are just truth in the format of news.

― Hier Komme Die Warum Jetzt (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 17 June 2014 18:39 (eleven years ago)

http://matablog.matadorrecords.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/harvey_head_big.jpg

― macklemorange is the new wack (Whiney G. Weingarten), Tuesday, 17 June 2014 18:42 (eleven years ago)

most news is like that too iirc

― socki (s1ocki), Tuesday, 17 June 2014 18:43 (eleven years ago)

http://www.theonion.com/articles/sonny-corleone-would-still-be-alive-today-if-he-ha,36297

― polyphonic, Tuesday, 17 June 2014 19:16 (eleven years ago)

10. Not sure how we’d do this or what would be in it, but the idea is that the first time you view the GIF, it’s not funny at all and is very confusing. None of the pieces seem to fit together. You can’t discern the whole image. But the second time you view it, it becomes very funny. Your laughter is sudden, irrepressible and hard to explain. You feel liberated and even cruel. The third time, however—and for reasons just as obscure to you—the GIF makes you terribly sad. During the third iteration, you desperately want to cry, but you feel that doing so would ruin something fleeting.

Again, we don’t know what’s in this GIF, but it’d repeat every 4 or 5 seconds. Blue background.

total karl malone vibes

― schlump, Tuesday, 17 June 2014 23:48 (eleven years ago)

Haha yes I was just coming here to say the same about that :)

― the Bronski Review (Trayce), Wednesday, 18 June 2014 02:00 (eleven years ago)

12. Stephen Hawking dunking a basketball from the free throw line, then pumping his fist

NOTE: Should be clear in the GIF that we’re NOT making fun of Stephen Hawking. If anything, we are on his side, laughing with him.

― linda cardellini (zachlyon), Wednesday, 18 June 2014 03:08 (eleven years ago)

gtfo

― sinister porpoise (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Wednesday, 18 June 2014 14:27 (eleven years ago)

i'm late on this but that clavin and hobbes video, whoo boy

― Every post you make is dripping with failure (stevie), Wednesday, 18 June 2014 14:33 (eleven years ago)

calvin and hobbes. clavin and hobbes would be something else altogether.

― Every post you make is dripping with failure (stevie), Wednesday, 18 June 2014 14:34 (eleven years ago)

now imagining a version of that video with norm fucking cliff

― Every post you make is dripping with failure (stevie), Wednesday, 18 June 2014 14:34 (eleven years ago)

You say that as if we probably can't Google one up right now.

― Disagree. And im not into firey solos chief. (Phil D.), Wednesday, 18 June 2014 14:38 (eleven years ago)

whats even funnier abt the calvin and hobbes video is how it spits out when shared on facebook:

http://i.imgur.com/ZgcvUBD.png

― °ㅇ๐ْ ° (gr8080), Wednesday, 18 June 2014 14:41 (eleven years ago)

ha! pvmic

― Every post you make is dripping with failure (stevie), Wednesday, 18 June 2014 14:42 (eleven years ago)

I made a thread Bait My Clickhole

― 龜, Wednesday, 18 June 2014 20:05 (eleven years ago)

OK lol
http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/aerosmith-angry-you-328

― the Bronski Review (Trayce), Friday, 20 June 2014 11:26 (eleven years ago)

Trayce you're not baiting my clickhole

― 龜, Friday, 20 June 2014 11:31 (eleven years ago)

and now for an awesome non-clickhole slideshow:

http://www.theonion.com/articles/names-for-william-h-macy-around-the-world,36336/

― Darin, Monday, 23 June 2014 21:17 (eleven years ago)

A Croatian friend explained to me that Kevin Costner is Croatian for "your mother's chiropractor."

― Hier Komme Die Warum Jetzt (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 24 June 2014 01:01 (eleven years ago)

That may be the single greater fact I know.

― Hier Komme Die Warum Jetzt (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 24 June 2014 01:02 (eleven years ago)

two weeks pass...

Breaking: LeBron James Leaning Toward Joining Al-Qaeda

― Queef Latina (Phil D.), Wednesday, 9 July 2014 00:46 (eleven years ago)

Thought for sure that would have something to do with Binyam Mohammed
http://o.aolcdn.com/photo-hub/news_gallery/6/4/649107/1265844393775.JPEG

― tsrobodo, Wednesday, 9 July 2014 03:24 (eleven years ago)

whoa

― 'arry Goldman (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 9 July 2014 03:26 (eleven years ago)

http://www.theonion.com/video/the-onion-reviews-dawn-of-the-planet-of-the-apes,36436/

― 'arry Goldman (Hurting 2), Friday, 11 July 2014 15:23 (eleven years ago)

ha ha awesome

― Darin, Friday, 11 July 2014 18:44 (eleven years ago)

http://www.theonion.com/articles/study-finds-humans-only-animals-capable-of-recogni,36444/

― da croupier, Friday, 11 July 2014 21:56 (eleven years ago)

http://o.onionstatic.com/images/26/26592/original/700.jpg?8037

― mattresslessness, Tuesday, 15 July 2014 16:44 (eleven years ago)

*gasp*

― goole, Tuesday, 15 July 2014 16:45 (eleven years ago)

lol @ clarence thomas

― Roberto Spiralli, Tuesday, 15 July 2014 16:59 (eleven years ago)

genius

― a biscuit/donut hybrid called “bisnuts” (stevie), Tuesday, 15 July 2014 19:13 (eleven years ago)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PwSzuIW_Klc

― °ㅇ๐ْ ° (gr8080), Wednesday, 16 July 2014 17:33 (eleven years ago)

Oh my god, that's great.

― oblique blasphemies (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Thursday, 17 July 2014 03:20 (eleven years ago)

haha that is great

― balls, Thursday, 17 July 2014 03:31 (eleven years ago)

yeah love that

― gbx, Thursday, 17 July 2014 13:35 (eleven years ago)

Lol'd at Lance Armstrong with the N64, also respect for importing the JDM version of Mario Kart 64 instead of waiting for the American release, cause otherwise they would have had to say 1997 ;)

― 龜, Thursday, 17 July 2014 13:42 (eleven years ago)

http://www.theonion.com/video/comiccon-exclusive-michael-bay-gives-fans-sneak-pe,36528/

― goole, Thursday, 24 July 2014 17:52 (eleven years ago)

wish their vid player wouldn't crap out on me every time

― linda cardellini (zachlyon), Friday, 25 July 2014 00:38 (eleven years ago)

that's real funny tho

― linda cardellini (zachlyon), Friday, 25 July 2014 00:40 (eleven years ago)

The crawl/ticker on that is pretty funny: "Hollywood community shocked, saddened that Charlie Sheen was found alive in his home."

― Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Friday, 25 July 2014 02:23 (eleven years ago)

That was in one of those not-quite-The-Onions right after Phillip Seymour Hoffman died.

http://waterfordwhispersnews.com/2014/02/02/charlie-sheen-found-alive-in-his-new-york-apartment-aged-48/

― pplains, Friday, 25 July 2014 03:00 (eleven years ago)