Worst TV adverts of the moment

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the transport for london one really annoys me; partly because of the mendacity; partly for the velvet underground thing; partly for the gordon ramsey product placement.

― Roughage Crew (Enrique), Tuesday, 20 June 2006 10:21 (twenty years ago)

*looks up mendacity*

yes, agree with you on all three counts

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Tuesday, 20 June 2006 10:29 (twenty years ago)

i was on bus for 90 mins from highgate-camden this morning. fucked if i have time for all the other stuff.

― Roughage Crew (Enrique), Tuesday, 20 June 2006 10:30 (twenty years ago)

Last night chez-moi:

Son (aged 13) : hey dad, you've got to see that transport for London ad, there's a guy trying out a Fender Jaguar.
Me : cool! Give me a shout if it comes on again.
(Later)
Son - it's on! (split-second later) oh you missed the Jag!
(Later)
Son - it's on again! Quick!
Me - where? where's the Jag?
Son (tetchily) - you missed it again.

Is the bloody guitar in the ad, or is he having me on?

― Dr.C (Dr.C), Tuesday, 20 June 2006 10:36 (twenty years ago)

yes he buys or tries a guitar in a shop in denmark street.

― Roughage Crew (Enrique), Tuesday, 20 June 2006 10:38 (twenty years ago)

he is the indiest man ever!

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Tuesday, 20 June 2006 10:41 (twenty years ago)

It's the sort of advert which makes me want to emigrate to Greenland.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Tuesday, 20 June 2006 10:52 (twenty years ago)

The TalkSport one with that "de-der-de-der-der" tune at German immigration control is awful, with them pullinng things out of their jackets is awful but strangely compelling, a bit like TalkSport itself.

What is that "de-der-de-der-der" tune anyway?

― Alba (Alba), Tuesday, 20 June 2006 10:56 (twenty years ago)

...then seize control of the island, split from Denmark, develop a nuclear weapons programme and destroy London.

xpost (obv)

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Tuesday, 20 June 2006 10:56 (twenty years ago)

awful.

― Alba (Alba), Tuesday, 20 June 2006 10:57 (twenty years ago)

All those ads which start 'Dave Halfwit was trying to fix an aerial to his roof during a thunderstorm. "I was trying to fix an aerial to my roof during a thunderstorm when I slipped and quite badly grazed myself - I was off work for a year but [some dodgy law firm] helped me get back on my feet with a cheque for £7"' I especially hate the one with the woman slipping over and I don't know why, 'cos I feel I should feel sorry for her.

― Ned T.Rifle (nedtrifle), Tuesday, 20 June 2006 11:15 (twenty years ago)

No...just emigrate to Greenland. To get away from the Cool Police.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Tuesday, 20 June 2006 11:18 (twenty years ago)

That kid's jubilant little dance as he sails off into the air at the end is just his way of asking for a doing.

OTM

The quote me happy ads really need to be stopped don't they.

― Ste (Fuzzy), Tuesday, 20 June 2006 11:28 (twenty years ago)

What is that "de-der-de-der-der" tune anyway?

Its the changing expression on the customs official as the items get more and more silly

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Tuesday, 20 June 2006 12:49 (twenty years ago)

is anything on itv4 NOT sponsored by 888.com? they've also done the compression trick to make their advert louder than the program it interrupts. it's also, because it butts right up against the programs, immune to tivo ffwd. curse them.

― koogy wonderland (koogs), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 07:53 (nineteen years ago)

HAVE YOU GOT A WKD SIDE?

― Roughage Crew (Enrique), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 08:00 (nineteen years ago)

I'm going to have to once again bring up that awful loan advert where the guy is wandering around the house on the phone bouncing a football around, and his wife is filming him with a camera.

"who are you talking to?"
"Mike!"

good grief

― Ste (Fuzzy), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 08:06 (nineteen years ago)

I shall just say...

"Ooh, Homebuyer man!"

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 08:19 (nineteen years ago)

wkd is the worst of all possible ad campaigns

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 08:24 (nineteen years ago)

OTM Enrique and RJG (did I just say that?). Is WKD supposed to be marketed at closet homosexuals who want their mates to cockblock them every time they're in a situation where they could pull? That's the only message I'm getting from the ads.

― dog latin (dog latin), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 09:19 (nineteen years ago)

Ste OTM

The "They better not cancel football" bloke is extremely punchable.

― Colonel Poo (Colonel Poo), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 09:21 (nineteen years ago)

However I do like the Vomit advert where the kid has PE and his Mum packed his Dad's pants instead of his swimming trunks so he wears them anyway and jumps off a diving board and uses them as a kind of parachute. Top stuff!

― dog latin (dog latin), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 09:32 (nineteen years ago)

Yes the WKD ads seem to be going from random prank into rather more horrible things. The next one will be one of the lads disabling the brakes on the other ones car or something.

― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 09:50 (nineteen years ago)

I find myself strangely drawn to the estate agent twerp in the BT ad.

― Alba (Alba), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 09:57 (nineteen years ago)

he reminds me of me, a bit. hope he turns up in Doctor Who next year.

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 10:00 (nineteen years ago)

No...just emigrate to Greenland. To get away from the Cool Police.

I honestly read this "the Cod Police" and thought Greenland is exactly where you *would* find them.

― Earwig oh! (Mark C), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 10:24 (nineteen years ago)

I can't decide which is more annoying:
"Shh....akespeare!" or "So you've got tickets to the football finals"

― theantmustdance (theantmustdance), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 16:01 (nineteen years ago)

there's another one tha bugs me everytime i see it but i have blanked it from my mind, or something. however this one:

> "So you've got tickets to the football finals"

is close.

― koogy wonderland (koogs), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 16:17 (nineteen years ago)

Ha ha, the football finals!

And yes, when your mates find out you've swapped them for a telly, they're not gonna be impressed at your suave sophistication, they're gonna give you a shoeing

― Johnny B Was Quizzical (Johnney B), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 16:25 (nineteen years ago)

(but the point was he only had one spare ticket.)

― koogy wonderland (koogs), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 16:26 (nineteen years ago)

But they obviously don't care that much about the match. They can't even be bothered to get to their friend's place before the start of the game!

― theantmustdance (theantmustdance), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 16:33 (nineteen years ago)

But he gave away ALL his tickets, hence being able to host his chums.

― Earwig oh! (Mark C), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 16:35 (nineteen years ago)

Also he is a twunt because he invites them all round to watch The Football Finals, and doesn't give them so much as a beer to drink in his soulless white yuppieboy flat.

― ailsa (ailsa), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 16:36 (nineteen years ago)

Everybody OTM. "Shh....akespeare!" - what a cunt. HAVE YOU GOT A WKD SIDE? Do you know anyone like this at all? I suppose alcopops are for teenagers, but they can't really show that in the adverts. "So you've got tickets to the football finals" Mystifyingly bad - who is this aimed at? They've deliberatley chosen not to say 'World Cup final', but presumably there is nobody in this country who is unaware that the World Cup is on (even if they loathe football), so why not just say it? Maybe they're planning on using the advert for ten years.

I can't remember the product but a similarly naff football-themed one recently went something like this:

Jeremy: No, I'm the biggest footer fan.
Tarquin: No, I am. I buy a new replica kit every week.
Jeremy: That's nothing I've been watching Teh Soccer Finals since 2002!
Tarquin: Well, I've got Michael Owen in that cupboard over there.
Michael Owen: He's right.

― Teh littlest HoBBo (the pirate king), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 16:37 (nineteen years ago)

There's a horrible local (?) ad for a dating hotline where the female narrator talks about the dating preferences of people at a party, in a sort've jazzy sprechgesang, like "michael is a writer who hopes to write a novel soon". It wouldn't even be a noticable ad except that it goes on for fucking ever! It must be a full two minutes long, and they tell you all about 15 or 16 fictional people, it drives me crazy.

― Dan I. (Dan I.), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 17:34 (nineteen years ago)

this seems a reasonable place to ask: what's the music in the orange/broadband/bicycle ad? the internet (okay, commercial breaks and beats) doesn't seem to know.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 21:57 (nineteen years ago)

it sounds like something from sodastream's first album.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 21:58 (nineteen years ago)

Time To Let You Go by The Funky Lowlives

― Alba (Alba), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 22:01 (nineteen years ago)

They've deliberatley chosen not to say 'World Cup final', but presumably there is nobody in this country who is unaware that the World Cup is on (even if they loathe football), so why not just say it?

Probably has to do with licensing...to use the phrase "World Cup" in your add would mean you'd have to be associated with FIFA somehow, or would have to follow their guidelines, etc. FIFA would consider it cheaping their sponsorship if other companies could namecheck the World Cup. Same with the Superbowl...it's always called the "Big Game" or "Sunday's game".

― musically (musically), Tuesday, 4 July 2006 23:42 (nineteen years ago)

bad ad i couldn't remember is the 'beauty editor' and her 'penta-peptides' which you'd expect to pay celebrity prices for, but no, they are only £20. for some face cream. so that's ok then. said ad got rubbished in the front of the guardian guide on saturday.

― koogy wonderland (koogs), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 07:42 (nineteen years ago)

Michael Owen running through Asda to collect a curry. Why?

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 07:49 (nineteen years ago)

hunger?

― jed_ (jed), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 07:50 (nineteen years ago)

I belive her full job title is 'celebrity beauty editor'. You wouldn't expect some bog-standard beauty editor to be privy to the wonder of penta-peptides now would you.

― robster (robster), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 07:52 (nineteen years ago)

whos?

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 08:04 (nineteen years ago)

so are plenitude action lipisomes an old technology now then? and whatever happened to carla williams? did she graduate from her hair and beauty course and do her friends still often ask her what to do with their hair? we must be told.

― koogy wonderland (koogs), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 08:13 (nineteen years ago)

Michael Owen running through Asda to collect a curry. Why?

It's the only excitement he's had to look forward to this summer. I never want to see an advert with a footballer in it ever again - esp. not if they have to talk/act.

― ¡Vamos a matar, Dadaismus! (Dada), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 08:14 (nineteen years ago)

'Are you a wax virgin?'

― Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 08:17 (nineteen years ago)

oh the 'can hate be good?' song makes me wish i never had ears.

― Roughage Crew (Enrique), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 08:22 (nineteen years ago)

OTMs

― ¡Vamos a matar, Dadaismus! (Dada), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 08:23 (nineteen years ago)

Time To Let You Go by The Funky Lowlives

thank you. i doff my cap, as always.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Wednesday, 5 July 2006 09:26 (nineteen years ago)

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