God bless the goddamn Onion

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George W. Bush Debuts New Paintings Of Dogs, Friends, Ghost Of Iraqi Child That Follows Him Everywhere

http://www.theonion.com/video/george-w-bush-debuts-new-paintings-of-dogs-friends,35799/

― Angkor Waht (Neil S), Thursday, 17 April 2014 10:27 (twelve years ago)

Posted just above! It's a great one, though.

― Evan, Thursday, 17 April 2014 13:46 (twelve years ago)

hah yeah, it's pretty amazing

― Angkor Waht (Neil S), Thursday, 17 April 2014 14:05 (twelve years ago)

http://www.theonion.com/articles/how-to-solve-a-rubiks-cube,35827/?utm_source=Twitter&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_campaign=Default:3:Default&recirc=mens-fashion#22

― k3vin k., Monday, 21 April 2014 16:57 (twelve years ago)

Here is is starting from the beginning and not from the last panel: http://www.theonion.com/articles/how-to-solve-a-rubiks-cube,35827/

― pplains, Monday, 21 April 2014 17:02 (twelve years ago)

whoops sorry

― k3vin k., Monday, 21 April 2014 17:11 (twelve years ago)

http://www.theonion.com/articles/activists-release-horrifying-video-showing-how-mea,35861/

― Roberto Spiralli, Wednesday, 23 April 2014 19:45 (twelve years ago)

perfect

― k3vin k., Wednesday, 23 April 2014 19:50 (twelve years ago)

Autopsy Determines Total Loser’s Corpse Contained No Traces Of Drugs, Alcohol

― bi-polar uncle (its OK-he's dead) (Phil D.), Wednesday, 23 April 2014 20:01 (twelve years ago)

too real

http://www.theonion.com/articles/man-hoping-people-notice-how-many-folding-chairs-h,35929/

― chinavision!, Friday, 2 May 2014 13:35 (twelve years ago)

i loled @ all the people tagging their friend Ashley in the fb comments

― smhphony orchestra (crüt), Tuesday, 6 May 2014 00:07 (twelve years ago)

http://www.theonion.com/video/hurricane-ashley-expected-to-strike-several-bars-t,35951

― °ㅇ๐ْ ° (gr8080), Tuesday, 6 May 2014 17:09 (twelve years ago)

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― estela, Wednesday, 7 May 2014 08:26 (twelve years ago)

Open link in incognito window

― smooth hymnal (m bison), Wednesday, 7 May 2014 10:31 (twelve years ago)

yeah i get that all the time now. their website has just gotten uglier and more money-getty and SEO-ish over the years

― socki (s1ocki), Wednesday, 7 May 2014 12:50 (twelve years ago)

yes, it is very reminiscent of Estelle "Money" Getty

― some dude, Wednesday, 7 May 2014 13:04 (twelve years ago)

irl lol

― Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Wednesday, 7 May 2014 13:10 (twelve years ago)

i dont getty it

― socki (s1ocki), Wednesday, 7 May 2014 13:13 (twelve years ago)

Bea Arthur she does what she pleases.

― pplains, Wednesday, 7 May 2014 13:18 (twelve years ago)

Study: Most Serial Killers Did Not Receive Toy Every Time They Went To Store As Kids

― silverfish, Thursday, 8 May 2014 19:20 (twelve years ago)

http://www.theonion.com/articles/un-report-on-magical-realism-warns-of-increased-in,35985/

― the pinefox, Saturday, 10 May 2014 09:36 (twelve years ago)

^^^ good one

― Doctor Casino, Saturday, 10 May 2014 12:28 (twelve years ago)

http://www.theonion.com/articles/13-most-common-questions-employers-will-ask-at-a-j,35996/

― Diddley Hollyberry (Phil D.), Monday, 12 May 2014 18:58 (twelve years ago)

http://www.theonion.com/articles/stonehearted-ice-witch-forgoes-exclamation-point,36005/

― °ㅇ๐ْ ° (gr8080), Monday, 12 May 2014 19:02 (twelve years ago)

http://www.theonion.com/articles/furious-maitre-d-can-only-assume-hostess-didnt-rea,35992/
heh, this is my life

― sitting on a claud all day gotta make your butt numb (forksclovetofu), Monday, 12 May 2014 19:10 (twelve years ago)

lol Gerardo

― Οὖτις, Monday, 12 May 2014 19:14 (twelve years ago)

he's very nice

― sitting on a claud all day gotta make your butt numb (forksclovetofu), Monday, 12 May 2014 19:16 (twelve years ago)

very particular about his souffle though

― Diddley Hollyberry (Phil D.), Monday, 12 May 2014 19:22 (twelve years ago)

http://www.theonion.com/articles/10-things-your-parents-were-right-about,36017/#1

― Doritos Loco Parentis (Hurting 2), Monday, 19 May 2014 21:13 (twelve years ago)

http://www.theonion.com/video/christ-article-a-video,36101/

BOOM

― Roberto Spiralli, Thursday, 22 May 2014 18:32 (twelve years ago)

and i sat through a fucking ad for that goddamn mcfarlane western for that too

― Look at this joke I've recognised, do you recognise it as well? (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 22 May 2014 18:52 (twelve years ago)

actually had to take a deep breath when i saw this one

http://www.theonion.com/articles/date-rapist-tossing-his-mortarboard-into-air-3-row,36088/

― goole, Thursday, 22 May 2014 18:55 (twelve years ago)

Nails it:

http://www.theonion.com/articles/revealing-spring-attire-reminds-man-he-nothing-mor,36104/?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_campaign=LinkPreview:1:Default

― Doritos Loco Parentis (Hurting 2), Thursday, 22 May 2014 21:09 (twelve years ago)

Yep.

― overwhelmed with sweat (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Thursday, 22 May 2014 21:38 (twelve years ago)

Reminds me of http://www.theonion.com/articles/area-students-prepare-breasts-for-increased-spring,20014/

― pplains, Thursday, 22 May 2014 21:38 (twelve years ago)

Came after the not a damn video one:
Ohio executions

― nickn, Friday, 23 May 2014 05:22 (twelve years ago)

So what do those letters mean? I'll tell you, but as a knowledge-hungry ENTJ, I'm a tiny bit annoyed that you didn't look up the answer yourself.

― conrad, Friday, 23 May 2014 08:54 (twelve years ago)

http://www.theonion.com/articles/congress-reluctant-to-cut-funding-for-tank-that-ju,36099/

― axe douche for men (silby), Saturday, 24 May 2014 03:10 (twelve years ago)

lots of bummer stories with no jokes lately

http://www.theonion.com/articles/elderly-dog-can-already-tell-owner-doesnt-think-sh,36135/
http://www.theonion.com/articles/retired-factory-worker-had-no-idea-earnings-from-5,36069/
http://www.theonion.com/articles/college-rape-victim-pretty-thrilled-she-gets-to-re,36129/

― macklin' rosie (crüt), Wednesday, 28 May 2014 17:08 (twelve years ago)

the 2nd and 3rd are vaguely aiming for some kind of social commentary. i get those even if i maybe they are week. the first one tho? it's just like a little sad short story. area man's heart broken by pointlessly tragic 100 word sidebar.

― Roberto Spiralli, Wednesday, 28 May 2014 19:36 (twelve years ago)

Contemplating spending $3K on hip surgery for my dog tomorrow, wish that piece had never been written.

― lauded at conferences of deluded psychopaths (Sparkle Motion), Wednesday, 28 May 2014 20:56 (twelve years ago)

:-(

― °ㅇ๐ْ ° (gr8080), Wednesday, 28 May 2014 21:01 (twelve years ago)

i just don't know if "not enough jokes" is an accurate diagnosis there

― ♛ LIL UNIT ♛ (thomp), Wednesday, 28 May 2014 21:10 (twelve years ago)

http://www.theonion.com/articles/no-way-to-prevent-this-says-only-nation-where-this,36131/

― ciderpress, Saturday, 31 May 2014 17:17 (twelve years ago)

This is so dumb but kills me:
http://www.theonion.com/video/the-onion-looks-back-at-saving-private-ryan,36211/

― Spencer Chow, Thursday, 5 June 2014 19:41 (twelve years ago)

http://www.theonion.com/articles/bill-simmons-ventures-into-interdimensional-vortex,36205/?utm_source=Twitter&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_campaign=Default:1:Default