Blue Saturday

Maybe I am unable to even relate to other solipsists at this point.

My life just got a whole, WHOLE lot weirder at this point.

i'm guessing weird's not wholly bad

Weird as in my presence being requested & required at a certain band I'm seeing tonight's aftershow weird. Most fans, well, they stalk bands. Me, I am stalked *by* bands. (Not really, there's a family connection which accounts for this. But still.)

I'm just having this weird disparity where I'm too shy to even talk to people in shops, and have to psych myself up for 20 minutes to ring the Council, but here I'm just going to go to some party and chill with international rock stars and... I don't like leaving the *house*. How is this my life?

Like, obviously I'm stupidly excited. But also, at the same time, this is deeply deeply weird.

i find it way easier to talk to people with whom i have something to talk about than random business-of-life interactions tho

Ugh I just wrote out a post in response but it looks name-droppy and dumb so argh.

I'm trying to find someone to go with, but it's like... I feel like such a shit person in general, that I can't even persuade a friend to go "hey I have a plus one to a rock concert and you can go for FREE but the catch is, you have to hang around all night with depressing, selfish, solipsistic me" and no one would want to do that.

Also, rock stars are NOT REAL and I want them to remain unassailable, perfect, Olympian figures, not people you have to interact with. Because people are *terrifying*.

just dont mention fingerbanging

You have just guaranteed that fingerbanging is the first thing I will talk about!

Oh phew, one of the Orcadians will go with me. She's pretty no-nonsense so she'll keep me in line.

i dunno, is it a good idea taking Middle Earth characters out in public?

Don't be silly. There's nothing Middle about Orkney. It's pretty much as far "up" as you can go until you hit Norway.

Sorry, I'm just going to spend the day wandering in, going "BLEEEEEEEEE" and then wandering out again.

I was right about needing the Red Saturday thread. Just walked out of my job. Got my payslip today from last month where I took a week off sick, they docked my wages, should've read the small print in my contract I guess. But I found out they haven't docked other people when they've been off sick. And while asking about that, got pulled into director's office and bollocked for talking about it in the office instead of going to them. That was the final straw tbh. Packed my bag and left. Didn't make a scene, just went. Not sure what happens now, I suppose I'm breaching my contract by leaving before my notice is up but fuck it.

BB, I support whatever you need to do to tackle this appearance with equanimity or w/e but I'm just going to freak out for you over here.

got pulled into director's office and bollocked for talking about it in the office instead of going to them

yeah nobody shd have to put up with this kind of Stalinist bollocks

yeah ridic. I doubt they'll bother to try for breach of contract, they would have to demonstrate actual economic loss by you leaving, which is likely more trouble than it's worth (n.b. I'm not a lawyer!)

The really awesome part is my wife works there too, and they're going to let her go as well, so I've proper fucked this one up.

ouch, sorry man

That's...what?? Was that already in the works, or is it a reaction to your situation? Because not that she would probably want to work there at that point anyway, but I'm almost 100% sure that's not legal.

They hadn't told either of us before, but they were going to do it anyway when I finished my notice period in 3 weeks. And it's completely legal cos thanks to the fucking Tories you have to work somewhere for 2 years before you have any rights.

CUNTS.

I don't believe that was in the works, because that manager sounds fundamentally dishonest. Make life as unpleasant for them as possible. Starting with getting back the docked-but-shouldn't-have-been days you were off sick.

I can't, it's in my contract they don't pay sick pay.

Can someone pls take over my financial management/paperwork? I'll do all the emotional labor, I'll be the cheerful, friendly, cute one, I'll take notes and write articles and stuff, but the idea of doing my taxes, finding out the state is going to take all my money anyway because my student loans are in default, the very THOUGHT of dealing with multiple lapsed retirement accounts that I'm going to have to empty out to live of off soon if I can't make money somehow... it's paralyzing.

My wife was just talking to someone else who recently left the company who alleged that another ex-colleague was made redundant partly because he was gay and the director who chewed me out earlier is a massive homophobe (obviously that wasn't the official reason). Just gossip of course but I can well believe it.

My situation is not as bad as first looked, my new job agreed to move my start date a week earlier and my line manager (who has been really good about all of this shit) has agreed I can do documentation from home for 2 weeks and never come back to the office again. But they're still going to let my wife go after that. I've half a mind to refuse to do the documentation because they are a bunch of cunts, but realistically we're going to need the money soon.

oh man cp, that all sounds horrendous

Oh hey at least you have a new job lined up!! That was well done.

Oh Jesus, CP, echoing The whole "that can't possibly be legal!!!" sentiments, but, basically: CUNTS

Anyway, I have survived; Interpol did not eat me, in fact a certain someone's certain brother was really incredibly lovely to me and took care of me and I've been hugged a bit too much, but, well: BLEEEEEEE!

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/87/Symbol_thumbs_up.svg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RkOj282VD-Q&feature=kp

there must be more to life

There is more to life, but I really feel like I ought to go and make a "InterSecretPolMachines supergroup album five anticipation thread of squee" to go and squee all over because my squee is too squeesome for this thread.

Thanks to everyone who said nice things. I haven't really been posting to ILX much for a long time so I wasn't even sure if people wouldn't just be going "who are you anyway", well maybe you were but that's fine.

I'm currently sucking it up and doing my working from home thing. At least I won't be out of pocket, but I'm really angry about the way they're treating my wife over it. I have checked the contract for my new job and I haven't accidentally agreed to work in a Victorian factory again and they do pay sick pay.

I'm hoping starting CBT next week will help with some of my many issues, but I know a lot of people don't think it's any good.

We are currently enrolling the counselling blud badge holder into something approchaiong a paler buleuf hairnet cum snood of plasticity or something

Sopremtimes there is a beautiful elaouqenuce to the made up foppery of typing exercised prose but aolso at times there is nothing but the empty laxiness of a man who is quietly firtierring his life away in a w ay that wd disgust even hunself where the to talk iopenly about syuch.

hard at it here

oh god i work with madmen, meanies and the occasional damaged niceness

http://positiveattitudechangeseverything.com/

hey, that's my life sorted

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dying here

Ugh Col. Poo that all sounds v. shitty and I'm glad you have something else lined up and can at least tell them where to shove it. Is not paying sick leave even legal in the UK?

positiveattitude website = http://harkavagrant.com/index.php?id=206 for the motivational guru website era

don't want

http://positiveattitudechangeseverything.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/worrying_is_like.jpg

That is quite encouraging, Branwell Belle, well done.

BLEEEEEEE there are pictures BLEEEEEEEEE but since there is no WDYLL Being Hugged Too Much By A DDB they will not see the light of day. BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Oh. Also. Thank fuck, I did not mention Fingerbanging. But we did end up discussing semiotics at length. What even is my life.

"sometimes the finger is just a finger, you know?"

"Well, the finger is only the Signifier, but the Signified is the weight of sexuality and desire and the symbolic desired phallus..." <- this is so *almost* how it went, but not quite. Thank fuck.

Branwell is yr dn a joke about the tuberculosis

Thorstein Veblen, actually.

Oh I don't know who that is. Well you've prevented me from making a terrible consumption joke anyway

What was the consumption joke.

(Thorstein Veblem invented the concept of "conspicuous consumption" in The Theory of the Leisure Class, which was a bit of a totemic tome I read at a particularly vulnerable stage in my intellectual development. I've been thinking lately about how there is a strand of conspicuous un-consumption in a certain strand of leftie anti-consumerism or whatever, but also, a pun-failure on a misreading of "conscious uncoupling" or whatever. Display names that have to be explained are a failure, but here I am explaining anyway.)

http://www.eafa.org.uk/catalogue/5

cc: hepatic misery thread. I will post in that thread tomorrow when I will be dying but for now just gonna say that video was a help

BB I know the phrase conspicuous consumption obv but I never knew where it originated. There is stuff in the news about cats spreading tb & I had idly considered playing on that and then I saw your sn, just a coincidence really