Poll: what's the worst part of getting old?

I know I'm feeling better when a different chronic ache or pain distracts me from the previously-foremost chronic ache or pain

most of this is related to working out all the time to mitigate some of the effects of aging ... in spite of being sore most days, I feel a lot better than I would without the exercise

sometimes i'm bummed to think about how when my kid is 18 i'm going to be 54

54 is very salvageable, if you take decent care of yourself between now and then. 54 can even be pretty sweet if you've attained some mental, financial and social stability, without devolving into stasis.

fear of "stasis" otm- I'm kinda concerned about a rising emotional tide of what might be the opposite of the much vaunted "wisdom" that is supposed to come with age- namely sentimentality, self-pity, nostalgia and vanity. I mean, yeah, you can suffer from most of those at many ages (twenty somethings who are nostalgic for childhood, for example) but it seems like as you age the risk of collapsing into some kind of isolated, depressive and repetitious posture goes up if you aren't challenging yourself about your own views / comforts / opinions. I mean a good thing about getting older is figuring out what you care about and ignoring / dropping stuff you don't- but the flipside of that is that you can get stuck in a rut as a result, or create a narrow and self-confirming cycle. I also fear that couple-dom tends to amplify this- the shrinking island of "Things We Can Both Agree On" that contracts as either member turns against stuff without finding new stuff to be into.

I'll be 54 when my kid is 18 too. I plan on being in the best shape of my life then. Better start working on that.

I also fear that couple-dom tends to amplify this- the shrinking island of "Things We Can Both Agree On" that contracts as either member turns against stuff without finding new stuff to be into.

Painfully otm.

I've found that some connection and contact with young(er) people helps combat that tendency to shrink or narrow down, but creative outlets help even more. Figuring out how to project an engaging idea into an engaging external form is a thorny enough problem that it helps to keep you awake and alert.

I'll be 54 when my kid is 18 too. I plan on being in the best shape of my life then. Better start working on that.

this will be easier to accomplish if you slack off for the next decade or so

You'll never be as fast (or quick) at 54 as you are at 24 or jump as high, but it's a good age for endurance. You learn how to conserve energy and pay out exactly as much as you need to. Coping poorly with stress through their middle years ruins a lot of people.

namely sentimentality, self-pity, nostalgia and vanity

that stuff is cool

Feel far less sentimental and nostalgic the older I get. "Been there, done that, show me something new". Gonna die soon, why waste time sitting around reminiscing?

as i get older i find it harder to escape thoughts that i've 'wasted' the years to this point

i don't even know what non-wasting would mean, and it doesn't prompt me to actually change anything -- it just makes me glum

oh hai, ur in my head, posting my thoughts

You could look back and think "Oh why didn't _this_ work out?" or "oh, that's the one that got away" or whatever, but you know, sitting there thinking that is the least productive thing you could possible do. In fact, it's not just unproductive, it's harmful to the present! It makes you think the past is the best thing ever and the future could never live up to it, which is entirely wrong on every level. Tomorrow could be the best day of your life (could be worst day of your life too, but hey, let the dice roll).

thoughts that i've 'wasted' the years to this point

Midlife Crisis 101. This just means you aren't a youth anymore and the youthful ideas and emotions you have 'always' considered normal no longer define a shape that you fit into as an adult. Now you're looking at your position in life and your accomplishments to date, trying to create a more fully adult self-definition.

Whatever you do, don't judge yourself using the standards by which a clueless adolescent would judge you, which also happen to be the standards you set for yourself when you were entering adulthood. The truth is that just getting this far on your own is probably a huge accomplishment.

no worries -- i don't really have standards, or ideas and emotions

buncha boohooing in here
one of the worst parts of getting old is how none of my friends have time to or even want to do fun stuff with me anymore
i'm not saying they don't want to hang out, just that they like to sit and talk whereas i like to do stuff

The part of getting old that I really dislike, is knowing that I'm not going to live to see the far future. Best case scenario, if I become the oldest person in the world, I'll get to see 2094, maybe. I'd really like to see what's going on in 2100, 2200, beyond.

you weren't going to see that when you were young either

True, but that is less important. Getting old just gets me closer to being able to approximate an end point. And that end point is not far enough into the future.

The part of getting old that I really dislike, is knowing that I'm not going to live to see the far future.

You should tell this to some really old people and see what their reaction is.

i want to live to see 2100 too but it's not realistic. i'd have to be 111.

lifespan has been increasing ever since they started keeping accurate measures of it

Global Warming's Terrifying New Math

Worst part of getting old is seeing young people rebelling in the ways you once rebelled before you realized it was just as system-affirming as anything and not being able to really say anything about it without sounding like an old crank or a reactionary.

Then again maybe young people need old cranks to rebel against and such is the circle of life.

Like everytime someone equates drinking with 'really living' I just want to smack them in the face.

might as well go ahead and say whatever you want-- embrace the power of the elder's unsolicited wisdom

xp

I hate that oppressive "ere get this MDMA down yr gob, don't you want to live?" type attitude. If people exhibit that type of boorish behaviour into middle age they really are fucked. Most ageing drinker types I know wouldn't act like that, because they don't really want to advertise the fact that they love drinking and are killing themselves slowly. They just get on with it as quietly is possible.

edit
as is possible

the diminishing number of possibilities

Getting off your tits in an ageing husk is not really as an alluring possibility as it once was, more like diminishing returns rather than diminishing possibilities.

Looking out across the frozen lake. Heading into parts unknown.

Just finished my first week on a college campus as a full-time student at the (newly minted) age of 31 and have managed to keep my shit together thus far but kind of want to slit my wrists and jump into a volcano right about now

I was 29 when I went back to school for teachers college (after working for six years--once I finished university, I never in a million years expected to ever be in a classroom again). The next few months were among the most stressful of my life. So good luck.

This is my first bachelor's, though. After, in reverse order, six years of cubicle jail, three years of being stuck in Alabama and discovering that my first school's counseling plan for severe anxiety problems was "pack your shit and leave"

I work with a woman who was born in 1993.

And did you hear what I just said? A woman who was born the year I started my sophomore year in college.

f u i graduated college that year

(xpost) Most every new teacher who starts at my school was born after I finished university--five years after and counting. (Would be even worse if it wasn't so difficult to get a job with my board right now; usually they're been substituting for at least a couple of years.)

f u i graduated college that year

Damn, old timer. You probably actually remember watching that Pirates WS.

I graduated in 1990 :(

it's true, we were family

but a homeless guy called me "young man" today! (i gave him a buck for the compliment)

f u i graduated college that year

― mookieproof, Friday, August 29, 2014 9:34 PM (11 minutes ago)

f u i could have gotten my third 4-year degree that year

If I were voting in this again I think I'd say "moles." These goddamn things are taking me over all of a sudden. The fatness, the slowness...I did that to myself. But these barnacles are God giving me a Nelson laugh.

it's true, we were family

that's the only part I remember.

i actually promised myself, as a child, that i would invite willie stargell to my wedding. but he died first

What did I just read recently about something like that?

probably me, on some other thread, when i was similarly drunk

Oh, it's not online. It was that crazy motivational speaker we had that handed out the $2 bills.

One of his big things was writing five thank-you notes a week. Mostly to clients, but to also fill the quota, also writing them to friends, family, neighbors, etc. He said he got the idea from Willie Stargell.

One day, he realizes that he he hasn't thanked Willie Stargell yet for giving him this idea. He puts it off, procrastinates and finally gets around to doing it.

Three months later, Stargell died. If crazy guy had waited any longer, he would've missed his chance. Who knows if WIllie ever read the note, but at least it got sent.

And that .... is the rest of the story...

...Good day!

welp when i was 4.5 years old my parents took me to pirates spring training in bradenton and encouraged me to go down to the railing and get autographs. everyone was very nice -- omar moreno had the best signature -- but when willie signed my program he said, in this super-deep voice, 'now what do you say?'

and i stared at him for like an hour before blurting out, 'thank you?'

Waiting to hear back how much diabeetus I got. Getting old rocks!