futuristic techniques in torture is pretty much exactly what we should expect from the mail adding its new profile as a tech-forward news enterprise to its traditional profile
― Roberto Spiralli, Friday, 14 March 2014 16:00 (ten years ago) link
Correctional policy ideas from a 12-year-old boy
― james franco tur(oll)ing test (Hurting 2), Friday, 14 March 2014 16:01 (ten years ago) link
"New Technology To Extend Criminal Suffering Until The Nightmares Stop And We Can Finally Live A Normal Life After What That Bastard Did And Not Have To Look Over Our Shoulder When Doing Something As Mundane As Going To Get Groceries Or Even Go Outside For That Manner"
― Evan, Friday, 14 March 2014 16:24 (ten years ago) link
Fans time vasectomies for NCAA tourney
"If you are going to be laid up on the couch for a few days, you might as well get (a vasectomy) done when there is some great college basketball on TV," said Mike LaSalle, a 40-year-old father of two who had a vasectomy Friday. "You had all the conference championship games over the weekend and the NCAA tourney starts this week."
― christmas candy bar (al leong), Monday, 17 March 2014 01:06 (ten years ago) link
makes sense
― gbx, Monday, 17 March 2014 01:26 (ten years ago) link
Courtney Love claims to have found missing Malaysian Airlines plane http://nme.assets.ipccdn.co.uk/themes/default/static_images/buy_ticket_button_green.jpg
― in my day this was all feels (DJ Mencap), Tuesday, 18 March 2014 12:52 (ten years ago) link
BUY TICKETS!
― One bad call from barely losing to (Alex in SF), Tuesday, 18 March 2014 13:26 (ten years ago) link
excellent
― Nhex, Tuesday, 18 March 2014 14:19 (ten years ago) link
Mad Men's Creator: Don Draper Represents American Society
― james franco tur(oll)ing test (Hurting 2), Thursday, 20 March 2014 20:22 (ten years ago) link
lmao
― °ㅇ๐ْ ° (gr8080), Thursday, 20 March 2014 21:28 (ten years ago) link
Georgia lawmakers pass controversial ‘guns everywhere’ bill
― Bryan, Friday, 21 March 2014 22:02 (ten years ago) link
don't know if this 100% fits the thread, but it's a very embarrassing profile that might as well be called "Adam Driver: Why Is He So Hot?"
http://www.bkmag.com/2014/03/03/a-man-among-girls-adam-driver/
― james franco tur(oll)ing test (Hurting 2), Friday, 21 March 2014 22:11 (ten years ago) link
Tattoo of gun leads to SWAT standoff
― ENERGY FOOD (en i see kay), Saturday, 22 March 2014 18:33 (ten years ago) link
wha?
http://i872.photobucket.com/albums/ab286/pstlpkr/josephstalin.jpg
― pplains, Saturday, 22 March 2014 21:52 (ten years ago) link
i'm guessing it's related to this - http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/maine-man-sparks-police-standoff-gun-tattoo-stomach-article-1.1726889
http://assets.nydailynews.com/polopoly_fs/1.1726887.1395251294!/img/httpImage/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/article_1200/gun-tattoo.jpg
what a dumb fucking tattoo
― balls, Saturday, 22 March 2014 21:55 (ten years ago) link
― balls, Saturday, March 22, 2014 4:55 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― pplains, Saturday, 22 March 2014 22:01 (ten years ago) link
lol sometimes my clipboard refuses to copy the right thing, yes it's that story
― ENERGY FOOD (en i see kay), Sunday, 23 March 2014 00:59 (ten years ago) link
it's probably wrong to say "someone that stupid deserves to be shot" but...
― Nhex, Sunday, 23 March 2014 22:50 (ten years ago) link
some of his other tattoos are even dumber.
― how's life, Sunday, 23 March 2014 23:17 (ten years ago) link
http://blog.caranddriver.com/puppy-potential-volkswagen-teams-with-rspca-to-teach-dogs-to-drive
― Lee626, Wednesday, 2 April 2014 18:18 (ten years ago) link
Posted April 1
― Sir Lord Baltimora (Myonga Vön Bontee), Wednesday, 2 April 2014 19:14 (ten years ago) link
DEA Chief: Please, Think Of The Dogs Before You Legalize Pot
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/04/02/dogs-marijuana-pets_n_5078556.html?utm_hp_ref=fb&src=sp&comm_ref=false
― Mordy , Wednesday, 2 April 2014 20:46 (ten years ago) link
xp - article notes it was an april fools joke played on the magazine editors (FR5T APR number plate etc.), but being a regular C/D reader am rather sure it's not their joke on the readers. Good Onionesque headline in any case.
― Lee626, Thursday, 3 April 2014 04:38 (ten years ago) link
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/pakistan/10745630/Pakistani-9-month-old-baby-accused-of-attempted-murder.html
but mostly sad
― Mordy , Friday, 4 April 2014 23:23 (ten years ago) link
https://roadtrippers.com/blog/harvard-discovers-three-of-its-library-books-are-bound-in-human-flesh
Of course, if this was from The Onion, the three books would be Fifty Shades of Grey, Kenny Loggins' autobiography, and Jimmy Carter's Revolutionary War novel.
― Damnit Janet Weiss & The Riot Grrriel (C. Grisso/McCain), Thursday, 10 April 2014 03:41 (ten years ago) link
Not my discovery, but:
Parrot put on Prozac after being left in garage for three years after repeating screaming name of owner's dead wife
― Congratulations! And my condolences. (Sanpaku), Thursday, 10 April 2014 20:45 (ten years ago) link
^after repeatedly screaming
― Congratulations! And my condolences. (Sanpaku), Thursday, 10 April 2014 20:46 (ten years ago) link
aw. parrots are easily mentally damaged things.
― sitting on a claud all day gotta make your butt numb (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 10 April 2014 21:14 (ten years ago) link
yeah that's a horribly sad story
― balls, Thursday, 10 April 2014 21:17 (ten years ago) link
I don't know about this "owning a pet with a longer lifespan than you that also mimics the English language."
― pplains, Thursday, 10 April 2014 21:27 (ten years ago) link
christ that bird looks horrifying
― Nhex, Thursday, 10 April 2014 21:48 (ten years ago) link
You should see Sarah these days.
― pplains, Thursday, 10 April 2014 22:08 (ten years ago) link
Laboratory-grown vaginas implanted in patients
I've been wondering what Cronenberg was up to.
― Congratulations! And my condolences. (Sanpaku), Friday, 11 April 2014 05:59 (ten years ago) link
he's been fairly prolific over the last few years
― socki (s1ocki), Friday, 11 April 2014 13:27 (ten years ago) link
The full headline is closer to an actual news story but the headline I first saw on twitter was "Vice Journalist Smokes Marijuana During Interview": http://t.co/sRQ1Mf1v4H
― posi riot (some dude), Wednesday, 16 April 2014 14:32 (ten years ago) link
Ragtag Team of Rogue Chihuahuas Terrorizing Arizona Town
― Congratulations! And my condolences. (Sanpaku), Friday, 18 April 2014 18:20 (ten years ago) link
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/germany/7830524/German-throws-puppy-at-Hells-Angels-bikers-then-flees-on-bulldozer.html
― tsrobodo, Saturday, 19 April 2014 08:31 (ten years ago) link
"What motivated him to throw a puppy at the Hell's Angels is currently unclear,"
― Roberto Spiralli, Saturday, 19 April 2014 15:57 (ten years ago) link
Arkansas ex-cop killed while trying to set anti-corruption blogger’s hot dog cart on fire
http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2014/04/19/arkansas-ex-cop-killed-while-trying-to-set-anti-corruption-bloggers-hot-dog-cart-on-fire/
― bi-polar uncle (its OK-he's dead) (Phil D.), Sunday, 20 April 2014 13:44 (ten years ago) link
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/video-josie-cunningham-plans-abortion-3434350#ixzz2zQCVM59q"
― From Tha Crouuuch To Da Palacios (DJ Mencap), Monday, 21 April 2014 12:52 (ten years ago) link
http://www.theguardian.com/world/gallery/2014/apr/21/obama-easter-bunny-egg-roll-white-house
"Barack Obama kisses first lady Michelle Obama alongside a masked adult dressed as a towering, man-sized rabbit whose unblinking eyes never stray from the president and his wife."
― kinder, Monday, 21 April 2014 17:19 (ten years ago) link
Spanish village considers changing name from 'Kill Jews'.
― Congratulations! And my condolences. (Sanpaku), Tuesday, 22 April 2014 17:00 (ten years ago) link
it's kind of begging for it tbh
http://sports.yahoo.com/photos/wrigley-field-celebrates-100-years-of-baseball-1398273666-slideshow/
― christmas candy bar (al leong), Wednesday, 23 April 2014 19:50 (ten years ago) link
justin bieber visits the yasukuni shrine:http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/worldviews/wp/2014/04/23/how-justin-bieber-inadvertently-stepped-into-one-of-the-worlds-greatest-geopolitical-controversies/
― building a desert (art), Thursday, 24 April 2014 01:47 (ten years ago) link
Nothing Justin Bieber-related ever surprises me/comes off as onion-y to me anymore.
― Doritos Loco Parentis (Hurting 2), Thursday, 24 April 2014 01:54 (ten years ago) link
Giant John Paul II crucifix falls and instantly crushes young man to death in Italy
― bi-polar uncle (its OK-he's dead) (Phil D.), Thursday, 24 April 2014 16:57 (ten years ago) link
http://www.okcfox.com/story/25302985/teens-find-new-use-for-burts-beeswax-lip-balm
― sitting on a claud all day gotta make your butt numb (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 24 April 2014 21:43 (ten years ago) link
ppl are just posting 'news of the weird' links now
― balls, Thursday, 24 April 2014 22:20 (ten years ago) link
oh cmon if you can't get down with
Those who are into "Beezin" say it adds to experience of being drunk or high.Others say it helps to keep them alert.So what's exactly causes that tingling sensation in Burt's Beeswax?
― sitting on a claud all day gotta make your butt numb (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 24 April 2014 22:23 (ten years ago) link
uncanny how much that's like the onion
― balls, Thursday, 24 April 2014 22:31 (ten years ago) link