rolling new food laboratory inventions for american chain restaurants thread

dylaaaan how did you order that, did you just say, '2 poutines plz'

and did they react any, like, '2? 2?'

the american dream is a cruel joke, still no poutine

My friend and I purchased an entire Arby's roast one summer. they sliced it up and gave it to us in tin foil. they then sold us the real deal arby's buns for something like 15c per. we ate arby's roast beef sandwiches like they were apples that summer.

Lychee McFizz sounds like someone's pr0n name. It probably tastes good though.

you cut them into slices and put peanut butter on them?? xp

we ate the outsides and threw the centers in the compost

we planted an arby's and a franchise grew in his backyard

time was, you could buy yerself an entire arbys roast. now you kids have your pizza dogs and dorito tacos

that same summer, I saw an elephant ear stand parked near a 7-eleven burn to the ground. I didn't tweet about it.

龜's guide to eating at Arby's:

1. Skip the roast beef offerings and go straight to the chicken fingers

2. Ask for the honey mustard

3. Get that shit with curly fries

4. With your drink cup, take it to the soda fountain and fill it with unsweetened ice tea (virtually unheard of at other restaurants)

5. Avail yourself of the sauce bar (the best in the business.) Horsey sauce arby's sauce, ketchup, notice how it's take-as-much-as-you-want and not gingerly parceled out to you one foil packet at a time. Feel grateful

I got a chicken finger that was virtually uncooked one time and the staff was so blasé about it that I have been loathe to return

that can happen. the fryer has a timer. you drop the chicken and press the timer. you shouldn't have to check it. but I saw this happen at DQ once as well.

xpost the best sauce that Arby's has is the red sauce on the beef n' cheddar. they do not offer this sauce at the bar.

龜, what is your take on the arby's turnover situation

Man I never fucked with that

taco bell dessert empanadas?

Nah man. I don't really got a sweet tooth

Last time I had a chain food dessert invention was the bacon sundae upthread

龜, if you are a chicken fingers aficianado and ever find yourself in the deep south and see a Zaxby's, you owe it to yourself to stop in for a five-piece, seriously.

Actually, Hardee's has surprisingly good chicken fingers now, too.

Is there a name for the thing they do in the south where you get some chicken strips, fries, TOAST and cole slaw? And it's like the best shit ever?

to full appreciate arby's, you have to loudly order two "Big Montanas" and then look around the restaurant expecting everyone's approval.

^^^ this is someone who has definitely been in an Arby's. Arby's here is a homeless/tweaker hangout these days so I don't go.

dylaaaan how did you order that, did you just say, '2 poutines plz'

and did they react any, like, '2? 2?'

the american dream is a cruel joke, still no poutine

― j., Friday, 7 March 2014 22:45 (Yesterday)

yeah. my order was 2 poutines, 2 filet-o-fish, 1 chicken something. i was driving the work truck and it was a highwayside mcdonalds halfway to jasper down the yellowhead, the middle of nowhere and i had on my full lumberjack attire, reeking of 2 stroke oil sawdust dumaurier tree sap sweat, so it felt okay. but sometimes i sometimes i don't know if i'm in an upscale neighborhood or feeling body shame i try to make my single massive order look like two people are ordering, like i'm making it look like i'm just hitting the drive-thru on the way home from work, bout to head home, yep, so i'll order my own food and then a more feminine combo, maybe. like, an angus bacon and cheese combo with coke zero and then a filet-o-fish with diet coke. even that small differentiation in diet sodas is key, so they'll be thinking, ohhh yep see the wife is drinking the diet coke. then i eat the filet-o-fish on the drive home to my empty apartment, where the couch is already heaped with fast food packaging that i don't have the energy to throw away.

Is there a name for the thing they do in the south where you get some chicken strips, fries, TOAST and cole slaw? And it's like the best shit ever?

Yes, plus comeback sauce, that's at Zaxby's (and at Abner's, which was legendarily good in Oxford MS but started sliding downhill when they expanded into a regional chain).

yeah, instead of diet coke i would do sprite, and hope that sounded feminine enough, out of bitterness at otherwise having to buy something i can't drink, but that just shows how i cannot put my own petty needs above those of the performance, you should teach classes in your method

is zax sauce really comeback sauce? story behind zaxbys is kinda sad/hilarious, there was a chicken finger in athens called guthrie's, somewhat iconic or beloved or whatever, the dudes that started zaxbys wanted to open a franchise in statesboro but guthrie didn't want to deal w/ the headache of franchising so they just straight up copied his place and now those dudes are millionaires while guthrie's burnt down a few years back.

man i want some zaxbys now... but they close at 10!!!

I haven't had the original comeback sauce at The Rotisserie in Jackson, but from everything I've read about it, it's the same stuff or pretty close. Zax's is what Abner's sauce used to be before they screwed it up trying to produce it on a larger scale.

I wonder if Abner's was a copy of Guthrie's...it started around '93 or '94, franchised out and lost the magic around 7-8 years ago. The two Memphis locations have closed, Tupelo's always has an empty lot and it's sitting right in front of the Malco 10-screen.

There's a chain called Guthrie's, actually, did they just buy the name? There was one in Tallahassee when I lived there, open hella late and always with a line around the store (it was near FSU).

And god do I miss that place. Fuckin' go out late and fill up on a basket of beige food.

lol apparently they did eventually franchise

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guthrie%27s - this does explain how the athens guthries could be run by a notorious fuckup and yet get up and running. i'm guessing the other guthries didn't have playboys up on the walls.

lol ok, Abner White definitely went to this place during some Ole Miss @ UGA game weekend and said "I can do this in Oxford and print money."

Y'all tried Cane's? Not as great as some people rave, but the tenders are pretty good and they do serve 'em with fries and toast.

Just placed an order for a Mashed Potato Double Beef Burger (it looks exactly like the double beef bacon burger I got ~3 weeks ago but with the mashed potato at the bottom)

since chinese new year, traditional fries have been unavailable at mcdonalds in favor of curly fries (at least when i left in february)
DYAO PLEASE CONFIRM

― dylannn, Saturday, March 8, 2014 12:21 AM (16 hours ago) Bookmark

It was the other way around. 扭扭 fries OOS everywhere, along with the chestnut shrimp/pork log burger... lean times

hah, I was scrolling through to see if anyone had mentioned Cane's. you done some time in Louisiana, Doctor Casino?

cane's is fantastic. bonus points for bizarre interior design, low-rent planet hollywood movie poster theme, giant pictures of dogs, true arctic air conditioning. LSU boosterism makes me uncomfortable but that's because all LSU fans are also racists.

I've only ever been through the drive thru. My friends were going to LSU, but certainly not LSU fans.

mh, no, there was a Cane's in Columbus OH! Never exactly felt *great* after eating it, but sometimes it just called to me. The Texas toast is what sealed the deal every time.

there's a canes now where guthries used to be in athens. i pretty much only get it when it's more convenient but i know a lot of ppl who prefer it to zaxbys. it's open til 3am which helps.

also their sweet tea is such that i've seen massive suburban louisiana stretch-stirrup-pant walmart moms wince at its astonishing sugariness.

back at home…

http://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2014/03/america-is-falling-out-of-love-with-tv-dinners/284403/

http://cdn.theatlantic.com/newsroom/img/posts/2014/03/us_frozen_ready_meal_sales_billions_chartbuilder/005e61485.png

o no a dip

http://www.burgerbusiness.com/wp-content/uploads/Brackets_Round-1.jpg

The BurgerBrackets measure the loyalty of a burger brand's fans. Just like those other March brackets, this one begins March 17 with 64 competitors, all burger joints, in head-to-head matchups. The brand with the most vote moves on to the next round (see the Schedule below). The (number) next to the name is its seed. Seeding is influenced by pest performance in the BurgerBrackets, social-media strength and whim.

I was so disappointed in the mashed potato burger I forgot to update you guys

http://i975.photobucket.com/albums/ae232/daggerlee/SH/02AFADC9-86AB-423F-8A15-D673A4749BD7_zpssgel8e5i.jpg

http://i975.photobucket.com/albums/ae232/daggerlee/SH/5B2BDE66-FF9C-4271-ABBE-8790E3005152_zps61n7iatg.jpg

http://i975.photobucket.com/albums/ae232/daggerlee/SH/85F537E7-ABDA-40AB-985C-C95B996107AB_zpsmjvd2jbh.jpg

As you can see, uneven mashed potato distribution, terrible build, average taste...

It could have been a beautiful burger

And I'm not ready to give up the mashed potato burger yet

But I'm going to need some time to heal first

http://i.imgur.com/ptVP849.png

That has the look and feel of something from the powerful conservative images thread.

http://mashable.com/2014/03/19/taco-bell-breakfast-phones/#:eyJzIjoidCIsImkiOiJfY2JyaHp6cGw2ZHBsZG9oOXlsbXAxcXBhdXJfIn0

http://distilleryimage6.ak.instagram.com/380582eeaeef11e3907f1214fb674332_8.jpg

"We just wanted to do something that would be really personal," says Tressie Lieberman, director, digital marketing and platforms. "We're calling them every day. You never know when the phone will ring." Taco Bell identified the superfans by their activity in social media and their fealty to the brand.

'lord bell, i am thine servant sworn.'

http://consumerist.com/2014/03/21/taco-bell-sends-food-writers-burner-phones-with-secret-breakfast-missions/

“So far the missions are delivered throughout the day (and night) via pre-recorded messages and revolve around social media,” notes Q, “with prompts like ‘Tweet which Taco Bell breakfast item are you into’ and ‘Where would you rather have a new Taco Bell Waffle Taco a beach in sunny California or in NYC?’ with 4-hours to complete each task.”

sounds like http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alternate_reality_game

sounds like http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dystopia

are they paid? (in money or taco certificates?)