God bless the goddamn Onion

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

Not all messages are displayed: show all messages (2329 of them)

http://www.theonion.com/video/new-marijuana-study-says-everyone-knows-youre-high,35386/

― °ㅇ๐ْ ° (gr8080), Tuesday, 4 March 2014 18:04 (twelve years ago)

http://www.theonion.com/articles/cam-girl-has-ash-on-forehead,35448/

― pplains, Wednesday, 5 March 2014 22:20 (twelve years ago)

http://www.theonion.com/articles/report-only-20-minutes-until-introverted-man-gets,35507/?utm_source=Twitter&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_campaign=Default:1:Default&recirc=technology

little too close to home, this one

― k3vin k., Wednesday, 12 March 2014 17:57 (twelve years ago)

otm

― Emperor Cos Dashit (Adam Bruneau), Wednesday, 12 March 2014 18:58 (twelve years ago)

there are no jokes, only truths

― rhyme heals all goons (m bison), Wednesday, 12 March 2014 20:52 (twelve years ago)

Obama Spends Afternoon In Garage Restoring Classic Drone

― Humorist (horse) (誤訳侮辱), Friday, 14 March 2014 18:09 (twelve years ago)

http://www.theonion.com/articles/mischievous-koch-brothers-trick-beautiful-woman-in,35581/

― coops all on coops tbh (crüt), Thursday, 20 March 2014 18:53 (twelve years ago)

Apparently the fake Fred Phelps obituary, like the best Onion articles, fooled all kinds of idiots, including the Vice Mayor of Maricopa County, AZ who completely tripped over his own dick.

― bi-polar uncle (its OK-he's dead) (Phil D.), Friday, 28 March 2014 18:33 (twelve years ago)

haaaaaaa

― IKEA metaballs (Spottie), Friday, 28 March 2014 19:09 (twelve years ago)

wow that story got really good

― socki (s1ocki), Monday, 31 March 2014 16:47 (twelve years ago)

After mentioning he has “many, many” gay and lesbian friends, Farrell states he read the article with no prior knowledge of Phelps or The Onion. “If you read the article, it mentions nothing about him being anti military, which by the way, I support our troops 100 % and thank God every morning for the ones that put their lives and their families on the line for America,” Farrell writes. “All the article mentions is how this guy fought against Gay rights on a biblical platform that God set before us.”

― christmas candy bar (al leong), Monday, 31 March 2014 16:52 (twelve years ago)

Do you think people at the Onion have a potluck lunch to celebrate these wins?

― IKEA metaballs (Spottie), Monday, 31 March 2014 17:15 (twelve years ago)

http://www.theonion.com/articles/report-58-of-worlds-japanese-speakers-white-23year,35690/

― 龜, Thursday, 3 April 2014 06:06 (twelve years ago)

http://www.theonion.com/articles/12-xtreme-slides-just-for-teens,35709/

w00t!

― Evan, Monday, 7 April 2014 20:43 (twelve years ago)

http://i.imgur.com/9OpUjuQ.jpg

― smhphony orchestra (crüt), Wednesday, 9 April 2014 19:08 (twelve years ago)

http://www.theonion.com/articles/exit-from-apartment-delayed-20-seconds-to-avoid-pl,35765/

― 龜, Saturday, 12 April 2014 00:58 (twelve years ago)

http://www.theonion.com/articles/tour-becoming-oneonone-between-guide-and-man-who-k,35759/

― Mordy , Saturday, 12 April 2014 22:29 (twelve years ago)

Yeah, that was pretty OTM, been on that tour mannnny times.

― Doctor Casino, Saturday, 12 April 2014 23:06 (twelve years ago)

So otm

― Belgian Flanders Albums Chart (Sufjan Grafton), Sunday, 13 April 2014 03:06 (twelve years ago)

FBI Uncovers Al-Qaeda Plot To Just Sit Back And Enjoy Collapse Of United States

― silverfish, Tuesday, 15 April 2014 19:04 (twelve years ago)

This one is too good, almost not funny

http://www.theonion.com/video/george-w-bush-debuts-new-paintings-of-dogs-friends,35799/?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_campaign=LinkPreview:1:Default

― Doritos Loco Parentis (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 16 April 2014 18:40 (twelve years ago)

oh my god

― goole, Wednesday, 16 April 2014 19:20 (twelve years ago)

dead. fucking. on.

― sitting on a claud all day gotta make your butt numb (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 16 April 2014 19:29 (twelve years ago)

onion at its best

― lauded at conferences of deluded psychopaths (Sparkle Motion), Wednesday, 16 April 2014 19:40 (twelve years ago)

http://www.theonion.com/articles/its-been-a-while-since-someone-wrote-a-hit-song-ab,35784/

― smhphony orchestra (crüt), Wednesday, 16 April 2014 20:20 (twelve years ago)

best piece of music writing ever

― smhphony orchestra (crüt), Wednesday, 16 April 2014 20:20 (twelve years ago)

George W. Bush Debuts New Paintings Of Dogs, Friends, Ghost Of Iraqi Child That Follows Him Everywhere

http://www.theonion.com/video/george-w-bush-debuts-new-paintings-of-dogs-friends,35799/

― Angkor Waht (Neil S), Thursday, 17 April 2014 10:27 (twelve years ago)

Posted just above! It's a great one, though.

― Evan, Thursday, 17 April 2014 13:46 (twelve years ago)

hah yeah, it's pretty amazing

― Angkor Waht (Neil S), Thursday, 17 April 2014 14:05 (twelve years ago)

http://www.theonion.com/articles/how-to-solve-a-rubiks-cube,35827/?utm_source=Twitter&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_campaign=Default:3:Default&recirc=mens-fashion#22

― k3vin k., Monday, 21 April 2014 16:57 (twelve years ago)

Here is is starting from the beginning and not from the last panel: http://www.theonion.com/articles/how-to-solve-a-rubiks-cube,35827/

― pplains, Monday, 21 April 2014 17:02 (twelve years ago)

whoops sorry

― k3vin k., Monday, 21 April 2014 17:11 (twelve years ago)

http://www.theonion.com/articles/activists-release-horrifying-video-showing-how-mea,35861/

― Roberto Spiralli, Wednesday, 23 April 2014 19:45 (twelve years ago)

perfect

― k3vin k., Wednesday, 23 April 2014 19:50 (twelve years ago)

Autopsy Determines Total Loser’s Corpse Contained No Traces Of Drugs, Alcohol

― bi-polar uncle (its OK-he's dead) (Phil D.), Wednesday, 23 April 2014 20:01 (twelve years ago)

too real

http://www.theonion.com/articles/man-hoping-people-notice-how-many-folding-chairs-h,35929/

― chinavision!, Friday, 2 May 2014 13:35 (twelve years ago)

i loled @ all the people tagging their friend Ashley in the fb comments

― smhphony orchestra (crüt), Tuesday, 6 May 2014 00:07 (twelve years ago)

http://www.theonion.com/video/hurricane-ashley-expected-to-strike-several-bars-t,35951

― °ㅇ๐ْ ° (gr8080), Tuesday, 6 May 2014 17:09 (twelve years ago)

SIGN IN
WELCOME - BIENVENUE - WILLKOMMEN
Thank you for visiting The Onion: America's Finest News Source. We are pleased to offer our valued international readers five free articles every 30 days - after that, you can subscribe for only $0.99 for the first month to get unlimited access!

That's right: Unrestricted access to the most vital news source on the planet can be had in whatever second- or third-world pigsty you're trapped in as you gaze longingly at the beacon of democracy and promise that is America.

Subscribe today! (Please note that we accept valid currency only, so we will not be able to process shekels, rupees, or livestock.)

Already have a digital subscription?
Sign In Subscribe Now

― estela, Wednesday, 7 May 2014 08:26 (twelve years ago)

Open link in incognito window

― smooth hymnal (m bison), Wednesday, 7 May 2014 10:31 (twelve years ago)

yeah i get that all the time now. their website has just gotten uglier and more money-getty and SEO-ish over the years

― socki (s1ocki), Wednesday, 7 May 2014 12:50 (twelve years ago)

yes, it is very reminiscent of Estelle "Money" Getty

― some dude, Wednesday, 7 May 2014 13:04 (twelve years ago)

irl lol

― Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Wednesday, 7 May 2014 13:10 (twelve years ago)

i dont getty it