Blue Saturday

I mean, the whole Romance = posh / Germanic = common thing, it's like... yeah, see my screen name. There's a whole history of language and oppression you're just ignoring there.

http://www.irishtimes.com/news/crime-and-law/engineer-outlines-dangers-of-throwing-items-at-lingerie-parties-1.1711230

sorry it's not as good, but i thought you might want kept updated with the case

xp

absolutely as far as the Anglo-Saxons being a colonial power themselves, that Romance/Germanic thing only holds true if at all within English as it exists today

i guess "not going anywhere" meant "tired of watching myself chase my own tail" - tho i know there are knots i have unraveled, a little, over the last couple of years

"Hunks of Desire". *dies*

Where would we go if we didn't chase our tails? Where is there to go?

yeah it's true. gazing out our navels is less frenetic maybe

chasing our tails is at least a box ticked on a daily activities log, give us that

Barry Tennyson, an engineer who gave technical evidence on Ms Deehan’s behalf, said it was dangerous for a prize to be thrown among a group of adults in a circulation area at a venue where alcohol is served.

That demon drink! And certainly naught to do with the cockrings.

An engineer has told the High Court a “proper risk assessment” should be carried out in advance of throwing items in the air at Ann Summers lingerie parties where alcohol is being served. He was not saying such parties should be banned, Barry Tennyson said.

oh god thank you thank you content delivered

Who The Celts Really Are: killing each other over cockrings subsection, "proper risk assessment".

i feel bad for Ms Deehan no doubt being pressured by friends and loved ones to keep quiet lest they get banned from the pub but this is the kind of case that ends up ruining things for everybody

lol it's the story that keeps on giving

bb you will have seen the original story i hope?

check the local news story everyone must know about thread

follow on from toast thread-

nv what i really need, and i feel you may have thoughts on this, is a supervisor to whom i must (for whatever reason) report to who will tell me that i absolutely must do all of the things i currently do to procrastinate, or those behaviours that are what'll i call them- less than optimisational ito my personal goals, when i bother to have any. if that supervisor would set me actual deadlines missing good night's sleeps (ie "get less than 7 hours on no less than 3 occasions before tuesday") or idk "Eat at least 500gm of scottish shortbreads this weekend" or "that football manager game hasn't been loaded since *checks* friday last? get something done, we'll check back next week" type of thing.

maybe i'll imagine one telling me to post to ilx, idk

do you really think you procrastinate out of perversity? i'm pretty sure i end up doing what i'd rather be doing, most of the time, except when i have to compromise cos i can't do exactly what i'd rather be doing at this precise moment

like if someone told me to buy cheap hot cross buns in Asda on my way home then butter, jam, clotted cream and shovel it down it wd not make me not to do that just to be awkward

i think it could be the iota of grit that i could insert into my gastric system and mull over to produce and oyster, but it takes all sorts and maybe, idk maybe this new system i'm proposing isn't for you

PSYCH I'M DOIN IT TO U RIGHT NOW

I end up back on ILX because I'm lonely. And even highly mediated social contact is better than no social contact at all. I am not procrastinating anything here, because this is what my life is now. I write about having a life, on the internet, instead of having a life. Right, I'm off to go and make lunch.

(Except I'm not, I'm procrastinating even making lunch by reading about lighthouses on Hoy: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Graemsay )

I end up back on ILX because I'm lonely. And even highly mediated social contact is better than no social contact at all.

feeling this largely, tho my case is different and it's not my only social outlet, it's frequently the easiest

I no longer know if ILX is the cure for loneliness, or just another symptom. :-/

Oh. It's that day for me to get my "THE CELTS!!!!1" schtick on again.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Bh85oMdCAAAFMBi.jpg

You forgot DRECKLY ;-)

Dreckly is Cornish dialect, but not Kernewek proper. Anyway, take it up with the Bowgie Inn, I nicked it off them.

I actually have a pint of Doom Bar for tonight. Though I'm going to lock myself off the interweb so I don't celebrate my Cornish heritage by getting in a knock-down fight with a SWF speller.

do you really think you procrastinate out of perversity?

my therapist sent me home to read these procrastination worksheets last year:
http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/infopax.cfm?Info_ID=50
(warning, not for those with allergies to self-help bollocks or bad grammar)

which, I dunno, I didn't put the effort in to actually turn my life around or anything, but I guess I found it interesting to ponder Different Reasons Why I Might Be Like I Am endlessly from some new angles <-- sentences which summarise my therapy experience and entire life to date

anyway "not wanting others to tell me what to do because how dare they control me" was one of the options, think I was mostly ticking "not doing it bcz I'm scared I'll be rubbish at it" but was scared it might secretly be the former and I was only flattering myself

(xpost oh wow, Cornish orthography fights, that is some good new procrastination fuel. thank you!)

there are definitely things i do because i'm told not do them by lamesters, but i'm pretty sure i like doing most of the procrastinatey things i do, even if i regret them afterwards?

this crosses over with my thought-theme for the morning, which is something along the lines of "does being interested in too many different fields of knowledge leave you dilettantishly paddling without ever experiencing the joy of expertise?" or something like that only, y'know, expressed more clearly

a thought which occurred to me as i tried to read the Cambridge Ancient History and got sidetracked through orders of magnitude in physics, deep drilling expeditions, the Challenger deep and something about worms, while a side corridor was wondering about the availability and usefulness of careers advice for barely-qualified wasters in their mid 40s

plus ILXy miscellanea, obv

oh also spacecadet DANKE! those "imagine being less ineffectual" pdfs look like essential reading

bitte sehr! I hope you get something out of them - I shd probably revisit them myself tbh

I also sometimes think I have too many mild interests which I only have a very shallow knowledge/appreciation of, and then sometimes I think I actually have v few interests but have still managed not to engage adequately with any of them

just as one minute I tell myself life is hard because I was made to feel unacceptable, and then the next I tell myself life is hard because I was patted on the head always for showing only my shallow interests in unexpected fields, without ever needing to engage more deeply, and maybe it would have helped to be made to work for praise a little more

lyfe is contradictory, maan (watch me go in circles itt like I have been in my head forever)

*bookmarks procrastination forms to read when I get a chance*

~KK 4EVAH!!!~

when Aristophanes' frogs say "Brekekek" is he implying they are of Cornish descent y/n?

Are cornichons cornish

Brekekek? Sound suspiciously Breton to me!

So I read about halfway through the procrastination worksheets before I fucking gave up.

And it boils down to the fundamental reason why Workbook Therapy does not work for me: MY REASON IS NOT ON THEIR LIST.

These workbooks, they always act like the entirety of human experience is able to be boiled down to about 5 or 6 general groups, with a short list under each one, and if you find your problem on the list and category, then they will have the therapy that will work for you, and if you just follow all their helpful exercises, then you will be cured. And if your problem isn't on their list? OH WHOA THERE YOU SPECIAL SNOWFLAKE YOU ARE JUST NOT TRYING HARD ENOUGH.

I should probably skip ahead to further pages, and see if I can glean any helpful tips (what? you're going to tell me to make lists, and cross them off? NOOOO, OMG I had never thought of that in my entire life, not since fifth grade.) But it's like... when the authors have already subdivided human psychology into categories, and made it plain that I'm not in any of their neat and careful categories, what use will it be to me, to read any of the rest of it?

honestly i didn't get that from the tone of the first couple of sheets. i'm not saying i think their process will be useful to me but they do go out of their way to acknowledge that the why can be v varied and isn't necessarily related to the efficacy of the attempt to change yr habits

NOPE.

OK, this is one of my no-go zones. When a straight white dude starts telling me about "tone" that I can read that they can't, or vice versa, that is my cue that this is not a conversation that I can be in, no matter what the conversation is about.

Sorry I brought it up.

xps ive not looked at em, but thats not procrastinating thats just naah iykwim

Has it/similar worked for anyone tho? Out of interest.

BB i apologize, i was talking purely from my own perspective.

£60,000 a year for a Senior SAP BO BI. I don't even understand what some of these job descriptions mean. That sounds like something off Teletubbies.

I can probably (some of the descriptions are thrash an the recruiting is weird in BI) tell you a bit about what it means :) So do you know Business Objects?

Thanks, NV, I appreciate the apology though it wasn't necessary. I know you didn't mean anything bad by it, it's just one of those words that (especially if I am in a bad place) just tips me into an untenable place, where I"m reacting to stuff in *my* past, rather than anything necessarily in the other person's statement.

I don' know Business Objects, xyzzzz, I know Crystal, which was a bad career choice along the way somewhere because it seems like BO has bought out Crystal and almost completely taken its market share? I feel "out of the loop" because although Crystal was my area of expertise, I haven't used it in, like, 2 years.

(Basically, what it comes down to for me, with procrastination is one of two things: 1) if I don't see the point of doing something, I don't do it. No matter what the thing is. And there's a sliding scale of existential dread in my own head of what I consider "pointless" depending on the dread-o-meter whether that's "why should I change the sheets when they'll just get dirty again next week" or "why should I get out of bed when the sea is rising and we're all going to die anyway". 2) the complete lack of meaningful any social contact in my life, which means that tiny sparks of contact are way more important than paying the council tax bill on time. God why am I even still typing. I should go and take a shower. Why should I bother taking a shower? My hair will only get dirty again tomorrow. My shrink probably won't really care if I turn up this afternoon stinking with dirty hair anyway. It doesn't matter if I hit submit on this post. It doesn't matter if I don't hit submit on this post. Why am I even doing this. This sounds like a joke, but really, it isn't. This is my life.)

having sat in a classroom full of semi-interested business apprentices this morning discussing the nature of customer service and values, believe me, i am on intimate terms with "what's the point of this i'm going home to play Football Manager"

Hmm, hadn't thought about it but "not going to because I don't see the point" sounds a little like me too. But then so did all the existing reasons: none of them leapt out at me as definitely my reason, but they all made me go "hmm, yeah, a little bit of that I guess".

But yeah, while I found the reasons interesting to consider, the actual suggested actions (i.e. to-do lists) were not a great deal of help. I didn't make it to the last two worksheets so eh maybe I missed the magical fix-my-life page. Let's hope there is a magical fix-my-life page out there somewhere, right?

If only I liked Effort & Fixing as much as Contemplation & Taxonomising.

I don' know Business Objects, xyzzzz, I know Crystal, which was a bad career choice along the way somewhere because it seems like BO has bought out Crystal and almost completely taken its market share? I feel "out of the loop" because although Crystal was my area of expertise, I haven't used it in, like, 2 years.

Well mergers & acquisitions (& fake trends) are a part of life in this field.

I would say you could try R? I haven't myself, just been lamely looking at the pretty pictures - its open source so..

Yeah i always recognise a wee bit of my own lack of application in your descriptions aps, kind of not 'big questions whats the point stuff' but 'meh my eyes keep sliding off this shit im off'

I am going to have to muse through this "what is the point of this, going home to play football manager" because I say that I fucking LOOOAAATHE videogames (mostly because a long-term meaningful person in my life started using them as a way to block me - and everyone else in their life - out) but last week my LOLtherapist suggested that I might treat my novel-writing exactly the same way. Something so all-powerfully consuming that I get completely engrossed and forget the rest of my life when doing it.

And what, really, is the difference between Football Manager and writing-a-novel? Both are about totally enveloping world-building and exercising control over your environment. I guess I hate videogames for the same reason I hate all games - I do not find "points" (LOL) to be an adequate Point, in terms of driving my behaviour or making me do something. Gameification is wasted on me. I don't want "points" or "goals" - how fucking Pointless is that? I even hate the *language* of games/sports - "points" and "goals" attached to completely meaningless things and used to drive a contest over nothing. Meh. (But whoa, if you talk to me about The Charts, and "what is the motivation of this character" - his motivation is, he wants a Number One Record! "What is the point of a number one record, I don't see why he wants it?" and I guess trying to understand why my character wants a Number One Record is as pointless as trying to understand why a football player wants to score a goal.)

But what is the goal of a novel, anyway? What is the point of a story? It is just filling up time before you die, like everything else. Just as pointless as playing a videogame, really, so why do I even do it. Why do I do it so compulsively, to the exclusion of everything else. (because it is the one thing that makes me HAPPY.)

What am I even talking about, at this point. Get to the point. Score points. What the fuck are points anyway. Bring in Euclid.

I have lost my inherent motivation to learn new programming skills like R, or whatever, as well.

Like, if I was at a job, and someone stuck it in front of me and said "this will probably be useful for this task" I'd get the book and learn it, because, really how hard can it be. That's always how I acquire job skills. Because I need it for a task. Someone stuck SAS on my computer once, and I learned it in a couple of afternoons, because it was there. But the idea of going and learning SAS or Business Objects because I might need it to get a new job? What on earth would possess me to do a thing like that.