WHAT ARE YOU THINKING RIGHT THIS INSTANT -- with 50% more cleaning power!

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countdown to zombie pinappletini

5...4...3...

teeny (teeny), Monday, 8 September 2003 01:04 (twenty-two years ago)

(notice how I am refusing to speculate about such things)

Tep (ktepi), Monday, 8 September 2003 01:08 (twenty-two years ago)

...2...

teeny (teeny), Monday, 8 September 2003 01:09 (twenty-two years ago)

(you'd really have to ask Tad or luna or Ally or somebody, I just don't know)

Tep (ktepi), Monday, 8 September 2003 01:12 (twenty-two years ago)

(that yellow polka dot bit was funny, btw, dammit)

Tep (ktepi), Monday, 8 September 2003 01:16 (twenty-two years ago)

speaking of dots...Pink Dot is late! (note to self--stop calling Pink Dot)

Orbit (Orbit), Monday, 8 September 2003 01:25 (twenty-two years ago)

This says more about "what the early '90's were really like" than Nevermind does.

I'm not sure I like this Kraftwerk album.

Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Monday, 8 September 2003 01:26 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm going to buy a laptop computer, because I'm on campus for large stretches of the day, and a) there are just plain too many students for me to have any hope of consistently getting a computer in one of the computing lab type places, b) I can't smoke in there anyway, nor eat my lunch, so c) this is the best way for me to get lots of work done. I'm shit with handwriting: I've been doing everything on the computer for ... uh, 20 years now, I guess.

I'm oddly nervous about this, having never ever used a laptop computer before for more than a couple minutes. They seem newfangled to me, and suspicious. They have cards, and they're small, and touchpads are weird.

But I'm getting a refurbished one, and not a top of the line one or anything, cause all I need is to type and bop files around. So I'm sure everything is going to be fine.

Tep (ktepi), Monday, 8 September 2003 02:02 (twenty-two years ago)

yes the yellow polka dot martini was funny

luna (luna.c), Monday, 8 September 2003 02:09 (twenty-two years ago)

a little pineapple juice, a little vanilla vodka, twist of zombie, voila, pineapple zombietini.

(I left the blowjob out... that's after you've had several zombietinis).

luna (luna.c), Monday, 8 September 2003 02:11 (twenty-two years ago)

You could probably rate blowjobs by number of zombietinis. Well, maybe you couldn't, but I probably could.

Tep (ktepi), Monday, 8 September 2003 02:19 (twenty-two years ago)

that's after you've had several zombietinis.

wait, so how many more do i need?

Kingfish (Kingfish), Monday, 8 September 2003 02:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Ask Tep.

luna (luna.c), Monday, 8 September 2003 02:21 (twenty-two years ago)

I refuse in soooo many ways to be the pineapple zombietini guy!

Tep (ktepi), Monday, 8 September 2003 02:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh it's too late, champ.

luna (luna.c), Monday, 8 September 2003 02:26 (twenty-two years ago)

No no no. teeny's responsible for the tini. I'm not even really responsible for the pzb, I'll just accept partial culpability. But the tini is so not me!

Tep (ktepi), Monday, 8 September 2003 02:27 (twenty-two years ago)

You are completely responsible for the pzb, but I'll let you off on the pztini.

luna (luna.c), Monday, 8 September 2003 02:30 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm so not! I mentioned it in passing. I had no idea it would become, you know, my nametag.

Tep (ktepi), Monday, 8 September 2003 02:33 (twenty-two years ago)

'mentioned it in passing' = 'brought it up and inserted it into the collective ILx conscious'. You the baby daddy.

luna (luna.c), Monday, 8 September 2003 02:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Can my legacy be vinegar chicken instead? Or "there was no time for shoes if I wanted the hooker to live"? Or surnames with superfluous punctuation? Or even Old Testament porn?

Tep (ktepi), Monday, 8 September 2003 02:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Own up, Tep. We've got it all on record.

oops (Oops), Monday, 8 September 2003 02:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Those too. As well as the pzb.

luna (luna.c), Monday, 8 September 2003 02:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Man, if it's on record, it's only a matter of time before I start hearing my pineapple zombie blowjobs with a new drumbeat in that rap music I hear the kids are into these days.

Tep (ktepi), Monday, 8 September 2003 02:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Then you can sue.

luna (luna.c), Monday, 8 September 2003 02:40 (twenty-two years ago)

hey--where's Keenen? i miss his bald head.

Orbit (Orbit), Monday, 8 September 2003 02:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Wouldn't it be nice?

shitfuckpissbitchmotherfuckinggoddamnitalltohell.

luna (luna.c), Monday, 8 September 2003 02:49 (twenty-two years ago)

and talking like that will just make you more popular, young lady.

and NO ONE HAS ANSEWERED MY QUESTION! HOW many licks does it take to get to the center of the blowjob blowpop?

Kingfish (Kingfish), Monday, 8 September 2003 04:08 (twenty-two years ago)

The number of licks varies in accordance to the pop, of course.

Tep (ktepi), Monday, 8 September 2003 04:15 (twenty-two years ago)

As well as the size and strength of the tongue relative to the pop, the amount and chemical composition of the saliva, the time of the year, relative humidity, and whether or not the wrapper has been removed, for starters. (And we've not even broached the subject of those who choose to bite to get to the center faster.)

I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Monday, 8 September 2003 04:21 (twenty-two years ago)

relative humidity

If you learn nothing else today, kids, learn this: everything important is better in New Orleans.

Tep (ktepi), Monday, 8 September 2003 04:25 (twenty-two years ago)

'Provides the necessary lubrication, thereby reducing the friction that creates that oft' mentioned chafing problem, without having to procure any of those embarassing personal lubrication items.'

I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Monday, 8 September 2003 04:32 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm thinking: yowzah, this Lovage CD really is one of the best things ever huh?

nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 8 September 2003 05:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Bookof the Month is on my winamp RIGHT NOW! Get out of my pants!

luna (luna.c), Monday, 8 September 2003 05:17 (twenty-two years ago)

I am in a good mood for no reason whatsoever, and keep on grinning. I like grinny moods.

JuliaA (j_bdules), Monday, 8 September 2003 05:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Dude grinny moods are the shit. Whether or not alkymahol has anything to do with it.

nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 8 September 2003 05:20 (twenty-two years ago)

agreed!

s1utsky (slutsky), Monday, 8 September 2003 05:24 (twenty-two years ago)

i'm high and drunk and sexually frustrated.

and i have school in like 6 hours. welcome to my every sunday night. :(

Texas, Biyatch! (thatgirl), Monday, 8 September 2003 06:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Personal Daily Horoscope of Monday, 8 September 2003
for Jody, born 30 November 1976

Just bored
At this time you may feel a strong urge to get away from the daily routine and go off somewhere, and you may not be entirely conscious of the reasons behind this drive. It is a mood, a restlessness that is hard to pin down. But there is more than one way to get away; for example it can be done in the mind as well as in the physical world. Travel may be beneficial as long as the break from your routine isn't too radical. You are not really interested in getting totally away from it all, you are just bored with your everyday life.

animal wrangler (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 8 September 2003 06:14 (twenty-two years ago)

all my Sunday nights too, Sam - I can never sleep on Sunday night

luna (luna.c), Monday, 8 September 2003 06:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Personal Daily Horoscope of Tuesday, 9 September 2003
for Jody, born 30 November 1976

Sudden moves
Weak, transient effect: Tonight you are likely to crave emotional excitement, something that departs from the routine of your daily life. You are likely to seek out people who are different from those you usually meet. You might spend the day or evening in very different surroundings. And while you may feel a bit impulsive, these impulses make you feel more alive rather than inclined to act rashly or stupidly. On a more quiet level, you may use this energy to make needed changes in your immediate personal life or your domestic environment. While others may seem startled by your apparently sudden moves, these changes should be constructive, and the people in your life will accept them.

animal wrangler (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 8 September 2003 06:24 (twenty-two years ago)

where are you getting these horoscopes jbr?

Texas, Biyatch! (thatgirl), Monday, 8 September 2003 06:38 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.astro.com

animal wrangler (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 8 September 2003 06:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Personal Daily Horoscope of Monday, 8 September 2003
for Aimee, born 6 July 1972

Be yourself
You need to be yourself now and to feel what you really are. In your relations with others, you will project much more emotionally than usual, and if some people do not like this side of you it may be necessary to reconsider your friendship with them. In love relationships, you will experience greater emotional depth than usual, and consequently your experience with a lover will be much more intense. The only danger to watch out for here is that you may be too possessive of the other person. Also you may be so wrapped up in your own feelings that you are unaware of the other's feelings. Relations with women in general are improved by this influence. Regardless of your own sex, your experiences with them will very likely show you a great deal about yourself in a positive way.

luna (luna.c), Monday, 8 September 2003 06:52 (twenty-two years ago)

It won't let me pick "event" for a gender; hrpph.

Personal Daily Horoscope of Monday, 8 September 2003
for Bill, born 22 June 1975

Dude, maple wine?
Seriously, hook me up with that.

I might've made that up.

Tep (ktepi), Monday, 8 September 2003 06:58 (twenty-two years ago)

you will project much more emotionally than usual

oh shit

luna (luna.c), Monday, 8 September 2003 07:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Personal Daily Horoscope of Monday, 8 September 2003
for Nickalicious, born 20 August 1978

A friendly place
This is a good time to enjoy yourself at home. Your most intimate and personal surroundings will give you the greatest pleasure and you will want to be with those who are closest and most important to you. This is a favorable time for entertaining at home, because today you have more ability than usual to make your house a friendly place where people will be happy. You feel content with this influence, not like conquering the world. It is a time to enjoy what is around you every day. You feel affectionate, and, under certain circumstances, you may meet a new lover under this influence, probably in your home surroundings. Although this is usually a good influence, you should avoid overindulgence, especially in rich and sweet foods.

Ha! Too bad my house is a disgusting stinky mess right now!

nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 8 September 2003 12:26 (twenty-two years ago)

i'm high and drunk and sexually frustrated.

fuck, minus the high part, that's almost EVERY night of the week for me!

Personal Daily Horoscope of Monday, 8 September 2003
for Kingfish, born 12 August 1976  

An ambiguous day

For most people this is a good influence, a time when you will feel like being with another person and expressing your love. For lovers this can be quite an amorous time. You will have a strong feeling that by yourself you are not quite complete and that you need someone else to make you whole. This feeling is not born out of personal insecurity; it is a real need and desire to give and receive love. However, for some persons at some times, this influence can have a negative effect, almost the reverse of the above. It can make you overly self-involved, so wrapped up in yourself that you do not relate very successfully to others. Or you may demand more love than you are willing to give. But for this to occur there must be a predisposition to it in your nature.

This feeling is not born out of personal insecurity; it is a real need and desire to give and receive love.

well, six of one, half-a-dozen of the other blah blah blah.

i don't get it--are the stars telling me that i need to become more "self-involved" and whack it more? OH WHO shall the recepient of my insecure love? the queue forms over there.

Kingfish (Kingfish), Monday, 8 September 2003 12:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Persönliches Tageshoroskop von Montag, 8. September 2003
für Ally, geb. 14. Mai 1980

©Astrodienst AG

Ein besserer Mensch ***
Während mehrerer Tage gültig: Diese Zeitqualität begünstigt die meisten Beziehungen in hohem Maße, und doch sind einige Fallgruben zu vermeiden. Das Prinzip ist: Verlangen nach innerem Wachstum durch menschliche Kontakte. Gewiß beabsichtigen Sie, genausoviel zu geben, wie Sie empfangen, und doch löst dieser Einfluß in manchen Menschen den Wunsch aus, sich Vorteile durch andere zu verschaffen, ohne selbst etwas beizutragen. Wenn solche Menschen vorwärtskommen, verhalten sie sich gegenüber allen anderen ­ selbst gegenüber denen, die ihnen geholfen haben ­ reichlich arrogant. Deshalb werden sie von anderen fallengelassen, wenn sie selbst in einer Krise stecken, und niemand hilft ihnen.
Doch solche Konsequenzen lassen sich leicht vermeiden, wenn Sie bescheiden bleiben und empfangenes Gutes nicht vergessen. Unter diesem Einfluß ist es möglich, ein durch und durch besserer Mensch zu werden, aber nur, wenn Sie die oben angeführten Warnungen beachten.

Häufig erleben Sie während unter diesem Einfluß einen "glücklichen Zufall" im Zusammenhang mit einem Freund oder Partner. Doch handelt es sich dabei weniger um Glück als um den Erfolg eifrigster eigener Bemühungen. Ihre Zeit vermögen Sie jetzt ausgezeichnet einzuteilen. Sie haben ein offenes Ohr für die Mitmenschen und ihre Sorgen. Vor allem deshalb wäre es jetzt besonders unpassend, die Sorgen anderer zu ignorieren ­ Sie haben jetzt nicht die Entschuldigung, daß Sie davon nichts wüßten.

Vorteile erleben Sie jetzt entweder im Berufsleben oder zu Hause. Vielleicht kommen Sie leicht zu Geld, oder Sie verschönern Ihr Heim, so daß es viel gemütlicher wird. Oder Sie lernen Menschen kennen, die Ihnen Kenntnisse vermitteln, durch die Sie Ihre Weltanschauung in verschiedenste Richtungen erweitern können. Aber offen müssen Sie für diese Geschehnisse sein, das heißt, Sie müssen aufnahmefähig sein. Auch hier würden Sie durch arrogantes Verhalten riskieren, während dieser Zeit keine bleibenden Werte zu erlangen.

Ally (mlescaut), Monday, 8 September 2003 13:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Personal Daily Horoscope of Monday, 8 September 2003
for Julia, born 9 July 1974

Small embarrassments
During this time your feelings make themselves more noticeable than usual ­ even small embarrassments become extremely uncomfortable. Therefore, if you should make any mistake today, you should not immediately accuse yourself for it, as it is probably not as serious as it seems. This sensitivity, though, also gives you a good feel for the weaknesses and sensibilities of others, so that you can be very tactful and accommodating about them. In this way you encourage others to be open and also admit to their sore points. Your capacity for understanding and your readiness to take due account of personal traits, offers others ­ for example children ­ enough security to trust you.

JuliaA (j_bdules), Monday, 8 September 2003 13:54 (twenty-two years ago)


Here I am, R-A-W
A terrorist, here to bring trouble to
Phony MC?s, I move on and seize
I just conquer and stomp another rapper with ease
Cause I?m at my apex and others are below
Nothing but a milliliter, I?m a kilo
Second to none, making MC?s run
So don?t try to step to me, cause I ain?t the one
I relieve rappers just like Tylenol
And they know it, so I don?t see why you all
Try to front, perpetrating a stunt
When you know that I?ll smoke you up like a blunt
I?m genuine like Gucci, raw like sushi
To stage a rage is what rap did to me
To make me want to create chaos and mayhem
Cold rock a party until the A.M.
I?ll make a muscle, grab the mic and hustle
While you stand dazed and amazed, I bust a
Little rhyme with authority, superiority
And captivate the whole crowd?s majority
The rhymes I use definitely amuse
Better than Dynasty, or Hill Street Blues
I?m sure to score adored for more without a flaw
Cause I get raw

Chris V. (Chris V), Monday, 8 September 2003 17:20 (twenty-two years ago)


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