why do i hate that artist thing that people keep posting on my facebook so much? why am i such a jerk?

the mike muir from suicidal tendencies one is still funny

i am so disappointed in him

not mike muir
thor

why

take one generic list advice
sprinkle with a few choice R rated words
post next to picture of intense guy with a beard

because i think writing a list like that makes him seem like an asshole (even if i agree with him about many of those things)
that's just the internet though i guess
unless he's angling to be a cult leader, and in that case i guess i'm a little more interested in the list

but mostly it made him seem like a different kind of jerk than i expected, thereby disappointing me

i shoulda known when i saw them this summer and the guy next to me, who was extremely irritating and not very smart, kept yelling THOR THOR THOR

lists in that "voice" remind me of this

http://youtu.be/5xillqqt0Y0

no shit

21. No shit. No shit!

reminds me of this

http://youtu.be/o5APM3LIPdw

it's disappointing because it makes it seem like he's auditioning for real world: austin.

lol exactly
it's undignified

How to Tour in a Band or Whatever
by Thor Harris

1-Don’t Complain. Bitching, moaning, whining is tour cancer. If something is wrong fix it or shut the fuck up you fucking dick. goddamn.
2-If you fart, claim it.
3-Don’t Lose shit. Everybody loses shit. Don’t fucking do it. Asshole.
4-Don’t fuck anyone in the band. There are tons of people to fuck who are not in this band. Dumbass.
5-If you feel like shit all the time, drink less beer at the gig. You will play better & feel better. What are you… a child? Some have the endurance for self abuse. Most don’t.
6-Remember the soundman’s name. He will do a better job.
7- Eat oranges. Cures constipation & prevents colds.
8-Masturbate. Duh… Where & when? Be creative. You’re an artist right?
9-If YOU can’t carry your suitcase 3 blocks, it’s too goddamn big.
10-Respect public space in the van. Don’t clutter, you Fuck.
11-If you borrow something, return it. Not Fucked Up.
12-Do not let the promoter dick you or talk you out of the guarantee. If there were not enuf people there, it’s their fault.
13- Driver picks the music.
14-One navigator only (usually sitting shotgun). Everyone else shut the fuck up.
15-Soundcheck is for checking sounds. Shut the fuck up while everyone else is checking.
16-Don’t wander off. Let someone know where you are.
17-Clean up after yourself. What are you… a goddamn toddler?
18-Touring makes everyone bi-polar. Ride the waves as best you can and remember, moods pass. So don’t make any snap decisions or declarations when you are drunk or insane.
19-Fast food is Poison.
20-The guestlist is for friends, family & people you might want to fuck. Everyone else can pay. They have day jobs.
21- Don’t evaluate your whole life while you’re sitting in a janitor closet waiting to go on. You think you’re above having shitty days at work? Shut up & do your goddamn job.

This list was written under the influence of lots of esspresso & anti-depressants while on tour w/ such greats as Shearwater, Swans, Smog, Lisa Germano, Angels of Light, Bill Callahan & many more. I hope this list will help you get along w/ your co-workers whatever your job is. Contributions to the list by Jordan Geiger, Kimberly Burke, Brian Orloff, Brian Phillips Celebrity Gang Bang, Kevin Schneider, Jonathan Meiburg, Michael Gira and some other folks.

Thanks for not being an asshole,
Thor Harris

1-Don’t Complain. Bitching, moaning, whining is tour cancer. If something is wrong fix it or shut the fuck up you fucking dick. goddamn.

I wish Lisa Germano would do a list.

18. When you go see shows, bring a flask in. That way you can afford to buy a record.

this is a p fucked up rule from a bartender's POV

5. Don’t have kids. They’re not miracles, they’re people. 7 billion is too fucking many. Find some other way to give your dull existence some meaning. BTW they’re expensive.

14. Junkies and addicts are like toddlers. They just want to shit all over you and everything. The messes they make can get expensive. Avoid them if you can.

5-If you feel like shit all the time, drink less beer at the gig. You will play better & feel better. What are you… a child? Some have the endurance for self abuse. Most don’t.

17-Clean up after yourself. What are you… a goddamn toddler?

huh

Don’t evaluate your whole life while you’re sitting in a janitor closet waiting to go on 

19. If you had told me 15 years ago that Coca Cola would put tap water in plastic bottles and motherfuckers would BUY IT …… No fuckin way.

Yeah man in 1999 who even could have imagined bottled water, it was unheard of

Anyway this Thor list already made me get in a fight on Facebook, also I got kinda bored by the Swans on that last tour real talk

the endlessly repetitive use of the word "fuck" makes this list seem so pathetically try-hard, even if a lot of the advice is pretty good advice.

oh wait, is that an original from here. in which case, you got me, haha, but i see so many lists like that online where they do and it's so tiresome. great parody.

#backpedalling

Asshole.

Dumbass.

Not Fucked Up.

morelike Whor Sharethis

tbrr Thor seems basically cool but has also been apparently turned into a kind of noiserock version of the whole Bill Murray/epic bacon thing and thus granted authority to write 'rules for life' type lists

totally otm

that's what i meant about the dingaling who was next to me at the last show. i was surprised someone that stupid and irritating (he was talking to me, there are details, you'll have to trust me on this) would be seeing swans voluntarily but then he started yelling for thor. he was a total jackass. and if thor was what he wanted, and he felt compelled to yell THOR THOR THOR incessantly, i really should have known to expect this.

basically cool but has also been apparently turned into = he has bad taste in friends, maybe?

5. Don’t have kids. They’re not miracles, they’re people. 7 billion is too fucking many. Find some other way to give your dull existence some meaning. BTW they’re expensive.

not to turn this thread into a debate about childbearing, but i don't completely disagree with him, i'd just phrase it in a less dickish way, like "you should really maybe think pretty hard about whether you actually want kids, because responsibility and money."

I just never take comments like that from people who don't have kids very seriously either way.

Maybe Thor has kids.

My mom had kids and that's basically the advice she gave me.

tbrr Thor seems basically cool but has also been apparently turned into a kind of noiserock version of the whole Bill Murray/epic bacon thing and thus granted authority to write 'rules for life' type lists

at least thor doesn't go around saying "no one will ever believe you."

people who try to tell anyone whether they should or should not have children can generally fuck off

i think it's important that white people from countries with negative birth rates tell us how they feel about kids

the face of new Austin

i instinctively distrust ppl named thor tbh

my auto mechanic is named thor. he is painfully conscientious.

https://scontent-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-frc3/1533809_680839571966910_883983726_n.png

Right, so how about f*** off then?

"social interaction that i have enjoyed"

feeling that one tbh even tho not arsed about cats

I relate to the sentiment, but posting it to FB is kind of an obnoxious move. It's a "social" network, y'know?

have you hugged an introvert today?

'i like you just fine.'

the cat is sewn into her dress

the cats are coming from inside the dress