Does the entire Innocent Smoothies aesthetic strike you as deeply fucking irritating?

i just filled out a customer-feedback survey for GrubHub

http://i.imgur.com/XZqXMRX.png

Also make your customer surveys shorter.

i'm in a train toilet, now is really not the time to be all buddy buddy with me.

http://oi40.tinypic.com/i6j991.jpg

Ha, I've seen loads of people sharing that going "oh, isn't it wonderful they have a sense of humour?" To which my answer is unfailingly no, no it isn't, they're still over-priced privatised pieces of scum-sucking shit.

Some people at work are planning to go to this. I would literally rather sit in my GP's waiting room with NO BOOKS for the same amount of time.

http://vimeo.com/78861080

is there a follow-up called SUCKINGONTHEDICKOFCAPITALISM#7 ?

Our train service had these pseudo - sub - wacky series of posters called 'The Modern Guide To Train Etiquette'.

" 1. Get out of my fucking reserved seats you can read that digital sign as well as i can so stop fronting

2. Your fucking bag hasn't got a ticket

3. Nobody else on this carriage gives a fuck what fucking pub you're meeting Giles in when you get there so shut the fuck up"

Good grief that Good Morning thing.

Xpost hah, I feel like screaming number 2 at least twice a day.

Can someone pls corral all those fucking raverhippies in that video into a room then BLOW IT UP, jesus fuck.

Oh, Eat Natural bars, you should really do stand up...

https://fbcdn-sphotos-d-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-frc3/1510825_10153758680610215_1804122951_n.jpg

"Quick run for the hills.... there's chocolate a-comin'"

would it kill these fucks to proofread their ads or is that 'unnatural'

hey Mencap get a grip of yourself

ha yes, what the heck is the "of course not" bit in reply to?

my South African coworker says 'pull yourself towards yourself'

Simple... isn't it?

innit?

keep calm poster almost pushes it into satire imo

doesn't it?

it's irritating - but it lacks the punchable wide-eyededness of the OG Innocent aesthetics

they're all essentially pushing shit that will make you fat with no upside, i think the least they could do would be to look a bit shamefaced about it

an explanatory note in the new tumblr privacy policy:

Reblogs, Likes, and Replies are a matter of public record, so if you’re truly ashamed of your desires it’s best to keep them to yourself. But why? Be proud of who you are. You’re beautiful. We’re looking you in the eyes and telling you how beautiful you are.

Tumblr may determine your location by using drone technology and live video feeds. Ha ha, no, we just check out your IP address or any location data you attach to a post. Normal stuff.

from a press release:
Edgetone Records has opened a small cat carrier and released the debut album, Flower Futures, by R***** F******. It is now scurrying around the world in all its charmingly incoherent, aggressively whimsical glory.

did imago write that one

no, but they do Cardiacs covers

Get a load of this fucking shit.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BfuCViYCIAEgXOv.jpg

inexcusable

"what did you do in the teens, daddy?"

"well son, i wrote gobbledygook that went on the packaging of various consumer products"

"but why?"

"it's was cool at the time, you wouldn't understand"

http://f.cl.ly/items/01030C321k172X0a3h1G/Image%202014.02.06%2022%3A40%3A38.jpeg

If I was marooned on on island with a 40 ft container of cheap, processed food, I'd fucking wazz you into the ocean.

That makes me sad. Old Spice used to be for grown men.

Now it's just for groan men...

Netflix's new descriptions and automatically generated category blurbs have gone off on a weird kinda tangent with this lately

AUSCHWITZ: INSIDE THE NAZI STATE
The infamous World War II death factory comes to life. Step inside and experience the horror for yourself.

Looking for amotional stories? You've just found one. Lucky you.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Doojo-DOO-A-1008-Sleeve-Blanket-Ferrari/dp/B002BJ7XLC

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/91YXeBQqVZL._SL1500_.jpg

Product Description
Doojo about itself:
I am actually a normal blanket. However, my inventor always had cold arms and hands, when he fell asleep. This is how he had the idea of giving me hands and arms.
The sleeve blanket was born. My hands are detachable.
My hobbies are reading, sleeping, watching TV, cuddling, ... and keeping people warm.

Dimensions: 200x150 cm

I think it's not a bad thing to be cold sometimes

http://metro.co.uk/2014/03/11/argos-helpers-tweet-epic-reply-to-immy-badman-bugti-about-ps4-4525631/

Immy 'BADMAN' Bugti @BadManBugti
@Argos_Online YO wen u gettin da ps4 tings in moss side? Ain't waitin no more. Plus da asian guy whu works dere got bare attitude #wasteman
Argos Helpers @ArgosHelpers
Follow

@BadManBugti Safe badman, we gettin sum more PS4 tings in wivin da next week y'get me. Soz bout da attitude, probz avin a bad day yo.

LD

"epic"

twitter unsuited to epic form imo

infuriating

http://i.imgur.com/xYz7oA0.jpg

that picture kinda suggests their 'easter extravaganza deal' is a single shitty slice of pizza in a grease-covered box.

infuriating is the word.

Although I'm often surprised at how fast food companies go for this idea that you order takeaway because 'GODDAMN IT YOU NEED PIZZA RIGHT AWAY OR ELSE YOU'RE GOING TO FLIP THE FUCK OUT!' as opposed to 'Hey, it's Friday night, you've got people round, you can't be bothered to cook and clean-up and besides, eating pizza is fun and tasty' which is what goes through my mind on 90% of the rare occasions I order Papa Johns.

those scattering toppings seem to have come from a different pizza

"Huzzah", "tummy" and "noms" in one blurb? Hats off guys.

what my pizza partner and I think about daisy chains is not a matter for the record fyi

wait, are they saying that kittens are sometimes a taste-bud-tingling alternative to a domino's deal?

We actually had a discussion yesterday about using the "99 problems but a *blank* ain't one" in some marketing web thingy, and I'm now even more glad to say I managed to get the idea nixed. Also it generally just reminds me that they're not using the word "bitch".

i could see 99 problems working in like an RAC advert with a broken down ice cream van