God bless the goddamn Onion

http://www.theonion.com/articles/7-most-unbelievable-autocorrect-wins,32454/

The Onion going "brutally dark" thing is getting tedious. It's just smug and hateful. Satire without humor, just bitter misanthropy.

That "noticing the first signs of dementia in your parents" article was kind of the last straw. Har har.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/modernday-caligula-orders-everything-bagel,34822

This one slays me.

The Onion going "brutally dark" thing is getting tedious. It's just smug and hateful. Satire without humor, just bitter misanthropy.

I couldn't disagree more. The darker they go, the funnier it gets.

the onion's been 'brutally dark' for a long time (this is from 97 - http://www.theonion.com/articles/nations-educators-alarmed-by-poorly-written-teen-s,1007/ - and remains a fave)

Wow:

http://www.theonion.com/articles/local-church-full-of-brainwashed-idiots-feeds-town,34860/

Local Church Full Of Brainwashed Idiots Feeds Town’s Poor Every Week

NEWS IN BRIEF • Local • Religion • Charity • ISSUE 50•01 • Jan 3, 2014

MACON, GA—Sources confirmed today that the brainwashed morons at First Baptist Assembly of Christ, all of whom blindly accept whatever simplistic fairy tales are fed to them, volunteer each Wednesday night to provide meals to impoverished members of the community. “Unfortunately, there are a lot of people in town who have fallen on hard times and are unable to afford to put food on the table, so we try to help out as best we can,” said 48-year-old Kerri Bellamy, one of the mindless sheep who adheres to a backward ideology and is incapable of thinking for herself, while spooning out homemade shepherd’s pie to a line of poor and homeless individuals. “It feels great to share our blessings with the less fortunate. Plus, it’s fun to work alongside all the members of our [corrupt institution of propaganda and lies] who come out each week.” As of press time, the brainless, unthinking lemmings had donated winter clothing they no longer wore to several needy families and still hadn’t opened their eyes to reality.

so good

Oooh, that one'd piss off a few atheist mates of mine.

The one rightwinger who reads my stuff posted part of the Sermon on the Mount as a response.

hahahahaha that's awesome

That rules.

http://s.mlkshk.com/r/WK3G

Holy shit

Being the owner of this dog:

https://fbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn2/1047897_508569509216428_788260726_o.jpg

this one kinda stung:

http://www.theonion.com/articles/study-this-descended-from-wolves,34898/

especially loved the church one because it was kind of throwing it back in the faces of a significant chunk of the onion's likely readership

http://i.imgur.com/07kq6Bi.png

dying

Must be the coolest job in the world being a Onion photoshopper.

a an

Knocking it out of the park with this one:

Adopted Child Sick Of Gay Parents Forcing Him To Watch Them Have Gay Sex

http://www.theonion.com/articles/adopted-child-sick-of-gay-parents-forcing-him-to-w,34904/

...."They're raising me as one of their own," Brown continued, adding his belief that his parents' homosexuality is also eroding the spiritual identity of the larger community....

http://www.theonion.com/articles/pilot-tells-passengers-hes-about-to-try-something,34934/

hahaha

http://www.theonion.com/articles/unemployed-miserable-man-still-remembers-teacher-w,34955/

too sad :(

http://www.theonion.com/articles/and-yet-is-not-beef-itself-an-expression-of-wanton,34968/

Better serious ad than the new iPad one.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/woman-shows-hairstylist-example-of-haircut-she-wan,35000/

lol ENBB to thread

ouch
http://www.theonion.com/articles/report-american-dream-now-an-outofcourt-settlement,34972/

http://www.theonion.com/articles/genius-magazine-editor-does-it-again-with-marilyn,35003/

kinda wish they'd left that one at just the headline but it's still great

Its often amusing reading the Onion's page on FB. People take so many of the posted articles seriously!

trayce you know about literally unbelievable? http://literallyunbelievable.org/

Hah yeah Ive seen that. smdh at the idjits out there.

Ta for reminding me tho, something to read on my sickbed!

Better serious ad than the new iPad one.

― barranca jagger (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Saturday, January 18, 2014 1:01 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

That iPad ad is actually one of the saddest, most cheapening, anti-poetic things I've ever seen

http://www.theonion.com/articles/woman-confusingly-tells-area-man-shes-not-interest,34984/

"Woman Confusingly Tells Area Man She’s Not Interested In Him"

nation-back-on-board-with-seaworld...

Has the Onion been charging for a subscription for long? I was linked to a story earlier and read that, then went onto a couple of others. I then got a pop up message thing which I didn't read initially cos I just thought it was spam of some kind, when i clicked on its close I got dumped on the title page. Apparently you can only look at 5 pages per month for free.
Never came across that before.

for a few years, yeah.

browsing with Adblock on gets around it easily.

I thought i was browsing with adblock on. Think I reinstalled it before Xmas. THis isn't a stepping up on their rattling the cans front or something is it?
Not sure if I have gone through various pages of the site at the same time before but certainly never encountered that.
If you're not going to subscribe you can't even look through the site? Not sure what I would have assumed a subscription would get you but to not have one means you can't look. Think I've only seen taht on actual newspaper sites before & archives for music press.

I have adblock and it still appears. You get a re-up of free articles every month or w/ev. Easier to view under the block on a mobile, ime...

Opening articles in incognito mode (in Chrome) or equivalent solves the Onion problem.

You can disable the popup that covers content pretty easily in Opera, too

http://www.theonion.com/articles/woman-takes-short-halfhour-break-from-being-femini,35026/

Opening articles in incognito mode (in Chrome) or equivalent solves the Onion problem.

― Eyeball Kicks, Thursday, January 23, 2014 7:34 AM (Yesterday)

^what i meant to say instead of Adblock

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_f9oJikx0-I

http://www.theonion.com/articles/6day-visit-to-rural-african-village-completely-cha,35083/

came here to post that