what to do when your roommate doesn't realize you're home and thusly is having loud sex in the living room

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Poleaxing!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 09:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Remind me I won't tell you the story about the party where I was so drunk I began to have sex in my room with a goth girl, even though my roommates and other friends were still there.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 09:17 (twenty-two years ago)

(Oops.)

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 09:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Ewww.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 09:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Goth girl.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 09:18 (twenty-two years ago)

That was my first taste of pierced nipples. Literally.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 09:19 (twenty-two years ago)

next up, blumpkins on the couch.

― Chris 'The Velvet Bingo' V (Chris V), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 10:10 (twenty-two years ago)

I didn't know what a "blumpkin" is, so I checked www.urbandictionary.com. You crazy Anglos have a word for that??!!

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 10:15 (twenty-two years ago)

we get it so often that's why

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 10:19 (twenty-two years ago)

I once saw two couples fucking about 3 feet beside each other, standing up, outside the local train station.

I'd say they were about 16, THEY ARE SURELY GOING TO BURN IN HELL.

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 10:22 (twenty-two years ago)

i've never seen anyone have sex in real life. i reckon it is all a myth.

― stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 10:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Come on stevem, surely you have looked in the mirror whilst getting down!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 10:35 (twenty-two years ago)

He has a gigantic mirrored ceiling in his bedroom. All the better to view the tigerskin lovesheets with.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 10:46 (twenty-two years ago)

nope, just pictures of me everywhere

― stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 10:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Last year I saw a couple having sex on Blackheath on a summer's evening. They knew people were watching as well, I'm sure of it.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 10:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Not moving pics stevem? ;-)

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 10:52 (twenty-two years ago)

I once accidentally walked in on my brother having sex with his girlfriend. He thought I had been spying on him and almost beat the shit out of me until I explained thatI had no idea his girlfriend was with him in the house.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 10:53 (twenty-two years ago)

It was scary too, he's a pretty muscular guy and could easily woop my flabby (but not fat mind you!) ass. And he's my younger brother!

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 10:55 (twenty-two years ago)

So if Gear's roommate can't live with the embarrassment and decides to move out, ILX must help word the advertisement to find him a new roomie.

I'm guessing that 'no assfucking on my couch' would be one of the stipulations (though I may be wrong)

― C J (C J), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 10:55 (twenty-two years ago)

any ilxor is welcome to assfuck whoever they like on my couch

― the surface noise (electricsound), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 11:23 (twenty-two years ago)

so did Jess hook up last night then?

― stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 11:27 (twenty-two years ago)

You sure you mean that James? :P

xpost

― ipsofacto (ipsofacto), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 11:31 (twenty-two years ago)

somehow i don't see trayce or andrew taking me up on the offer :)

― the surface noise (electricsound), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 11:32 (twenty-two years ago)

that wasn't at all what i had in mind.

― ipsofacto (ipsofacto), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 11:33 (twenty-two years ago)

it's a different matter altogether if i'm involved :P

― the surface noise (electricsound), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 11:34 (twenty-two years ago)

I didn't say that either :P

― ipsofacto (ipsofacto), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 11:35 (twenty-two years ago)

*gets out the scotchguard*

― the surface noise (electricsound), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 11:37 (twenty-two years ago)

you better believe it.

― ipsofacto (ipsofacto), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 11:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Um, scotchguard makes poor lube.

― Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 11:53 (twenty-two years ago)

you know this how?

― ipsofacto (ipsofacto), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 11:53 (twenty-two years ago)

he subscribes to What Lube

― stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 12:11 (twenty-two years ago)

"What? Lube?? Are you quite mad?"

― Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 12:16 (twenty-two years ago)

the letters page is a real hoot

― stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 12:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh dear dear dear.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 12:29 (twenty-two years ago)

What a long-ass thread.

(No pun etc)

― Barima (Barima), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 12:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Your roommate got buttfucked by a hipster bingo, geezus!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 12:44 (twenty-two years ago)

"Bingo"? What numbers represent assfucking?

Clearly, Gear!'s never seen 101 Reykjavik.

― Barima (Barima), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 12:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Is that a film? I started reading a book called that but it made me think of the life of an ILXer too much and I gave up before the end.

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 12:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Sorry, my name isn't Pete. I used to get told off for that at school.

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 12:58 (twenty-two years ago)

"I once saw two couples fucking about 3 feet beside each other, standing up, outside the local train station.
I'd say they were about 16, THEY ARE SURELY GOING TO BURN IN HELL. "

the boys will get stuck at the hell hole with cocks that long!

xpost 33 can be a potential assfucker?

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 12:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Sorry, wrong thread.

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 13:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, Nick, it's a film. I liked it, could've done without the Spanish bisexual, but hey.

This thread's put my loud next-door housemate and the couple I saw finishing up a quickie on the tube (I was waiting for it, thank God) into perspective.

― Barima (Barima), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 13:24 (twenty-two years ago)

I am so gonna get fired for reading this thread at work but i just don't care!

It has the phrase "smears her cummy hinder all over the kitchen" init and the word assspunk!!!

Dan, when you run for president you must incorporte these words into your campaign speeches.

― smee (smee), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 13:24 (twenty-two years ago)

you can never have too many Spanish bisexuals

― stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 13:26 (twenty-two years ago)

This thread's put my loud next-door housemate and the couple I saw finishing up a quickie on the tube (I was waiting for it, thank God) into perspective.

Please explain the '(I was waiting for it, thank God)'.

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 13:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Once, years ago, I had a party and two friends of mine (both girls) had a threesome in my bed with some guy, while I was sleeping on another bed, passed out. I wasn't angry at them (the guy was hot), but I did change the sheets.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 13:33 (twenty-two years ago)

But those were the wild days of my youth, there hasn't been threesomes or foursomes or fivesomes in ages.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 13:34 (twenty-two years ago)

I am sooo ill, i read that as '..I had a pasty...'!!!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 13:35 (twenty-two years ago)

that never happened. none of this ever really happened.

― stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 13:36 (twenty-two years ago)

*Stevem clicks his heels together whilst repeating 'there's no place like home' to himsel.*

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Wednesday, 14 April 2004 13:38 (twenty-two years ago)

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