why do i hate that artist thing that people keep posting on my facebook so much? why am i such a jerk?

http://blog.zap2it.com/pop2it/legacyimages/a/6a00d8341c630a53ef0115701b9ad5970b-pi.jpg

Is there even an English-speaking dialect that rhymes "source" with "sores"?

Uh, they're very similar. I was going to say it's an assonant rhyme, but it's actually much closer than just that. The only difference is the voiced vs the unvoiced sibilant.

they are a minimal pair

upworthy-type posts seem to have overtaken macros recently in volume of annoying posts

Go right to the source and ask the horse
he'll give you an answer that you'll endorse
he's always biting on open sores
talk to Mr. Ed!

I knew the alarm had sounded that it was time for a Facebook break this morning when I realized I was entrenched in an argument with a person whose profile pic was a GIF that said "This Person Loves the USA" with an arrow pointing towards the left corner, using the shittiest graphic artwork known to man.

wait facebook allows gifs now?

Scott, hit me up on FB please - I want to order something from your store if I can

https://scontent-a-ams.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn2/q71/s720x720/1392629_10201280798558365_90054444_n.jpg

you won't be a vice president with a carphone but you will be a high school student with an iphone so SUCK IT BILL GATES

those are up in the jimmy johns near me as said by warren buffett iirc

damn my grandparents were dumb.

i do not recall correctly. those are written by 'the founder of a ridiculously successful software company'

Burger flipping is an opportunity

Thanks teachers u had one job making kids able to read this

The world doesnt give a fuck abt yr self esteem. Be nice to nerds.

wait facebook allows gifs now?

― |$̲̅(̲̅ιοο̲̅)̲̅$̲̅| (gr8080), Wednesday, November 27, 2013 2:20 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Bet he meant some low-grade vector image, like what gifs used to be before they began to dance for us.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/d6/Nervous.gif

http://toastytech.com/guis/win95taskbar.png

Offtopic but I remember as a kid finding the images that came with windows 3.1 (and you could use them for wallpaper) things of especial beauty

I know that's win98 but still

anybody else's FB wall gets plattered with IF YOU SHOP ON THANKSGIVING, YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM links/videos? sure love how sanctimonious social media becomes around the holidays.

i know it's too obvious to type "around the holidays" but come on

come on man

Good response to that sanctimony: http://www.misszoot.com/2013/11/25/shopping-on-thanksgiving/

http://www.rugusavay.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/Fred-Durst-Quotes-2.jpg

http://www.rugusavay.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/Fred-Durst-Quotes-4.jpg

what?

http://www.rugusavay.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/Colin-Baker-Quotes-1.jpg

Colin Baker quotations, sayings. Famous quotes of Colin Baker, Colin Baker photos. Colin Baker Quotes

That first Durst quote... I can understand Durst getting expressions wrong, but why repeat his mistakes

it was the durst of times

Durst wears his feelings on his sleeve, but then puts a hard, crusty shell over that sleeve. Seems clear to me.

dirty sleeves imo

http://wp.patheos.com.s3.amazonaws.com/blogs/christandpopculture/files/2011/12/atheismmakessense.jpg

http://distilleryimage1.ak.instagram.com/b44a2a9870da11e2b95b22000a1fab39_7.jpg

'i believe god put us here to test us—to see whether we were brave enough to repost image macros'

Why does God tend to come so early?

did people repost that by taking scanning polaroids?

the smugness of it all i can't even

http://i412.photobucket.com/albums/pp201/sharonjoy666/EC788867-F352-483A-9E3F-CE22F470D3F7_zpsinaif62f.jpg

that poor millionaire CEO no one would've cared about anyway if paul walker wasn't also in the car with him

Meanwhile the only person named in the macro is Paul Walker. RIP the guy.

^^ this

Made me think.

I thought, who the hell was this Paul Walker, anyway? Never heard of him. Oh, and who cares about people in cars?

Me either, aimless.

Thought it was the guy fromThe Jam at first.

pour one out

lol at guy from the jam
also this is otm Meanwhile the only person named in the macro is Paul Walker. RIP the guy.

people are really giving us an opportunity to see how petty they are this holiday season

Is that the guy's favourite bench or something?

Is that the guy's favourite bench or something?

The bench is like a metaphor because everyone is planting their ass on top of the guy's legacy right now without a care in the world.

A LETTER FROM JP MORGAN CEO TO GOLD DIGGERS
http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m1lxo1vsgR1qb51bz.jpg
This might be the best thing I’ve seen in a while:

A reply from CEO of J.P. Morgan to a pretty girl seeking a rich husband

A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:

Title: What should I do to marry a rich guy?

I’m going to be honest of what I’m going to say here.
I’m 25 this year. I’m very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above.
You might say that I’m greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York.
My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married?
I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you?
Among those I’ve dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit.
If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden(?), $250k annual income is not enough.
I’m here humbly to ask a few questions:

1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)
2) Which age group should I target?
3) Why most wives of the riches are only average-looking? I’ve met a few girls who don’t have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys.
4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)
Ms. Pretty

A philosophical reply from CEO of J.P. Morgan:

Dear Ms. Pretty,
I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to analyse your situation as a professional investor.
My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I’m not wasting time here.
From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you. The answer is very simple, so let me explain.
Put the details aside, what you’re trying to do is an exchange of “beauty” and “money” : Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square.
However, there’s a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can’t be prettier year after year.
Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset. It’s not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much worse 10 years later.
By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a “trading position”.
If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term - same goes with the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or “leased”.
Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you. I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income.This has better chance than finding a rich fool.

Hope this reply helps.

signed,
J.P. Morgan CEO