Transport in London is shit

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that is amazing news about the weekend. thought i would never see the day!

TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 21 November 2013 11:27 (twelve years ago)

horrible news about the ticket windows though, fuck. this means that the lit-up "tickets and assistance" windows will be darkened forever??

TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 21 November 2013 11:31 (twelve years ago)

i just had to use one this morning actually; i topped up online before i left the house and the turnstile said "PLEASE SEEK ASSISTANCE" so i went to the window and the guy asked when i did the online top-up; "a half hour ago, i guess?" i answered and he was like "oh mate, it takes like 24 hours to register the top-up, i don't know why there's no message on the website to that effect, we get tons of confusion about that"

TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 21 November 2013 11:33 (twelve years ago)

i for one look forward to the tube being like the new year's eve tube every fucking weekend

thighs without a face (c sharp major), Thursday, 21 November 2013 11:34 (twelve years ago)

also love the line "more tube station staff will be visible" when what it means is "tube staff will have to hang out in the ticket hall to run people through using the machines because somehow the human dignity of being allowed to sit at a desk behind a window is too much for them"

thighs without a face (c sharp major), Thursday, 21 November 2013 11:38 (twelve years ago)

tube staff roaming randomly in stations is about the most idiotic idea i've ever heard

lex pretend, Thursday, 21 November 2013 11:43 (twelve years ago)

Had a discussion with a station attendant about this very subject early last summer. You think we're cross? How on Earth are they going to swing this at a busy interchange like Holborn, with all the gormless tourists and commuters pouring in all day, every day, I do not know - but I am so happy that I'll be able to go East without having Cinderella issues.

hatcat marnell (suzy), Thursday, 21 November 2013 11:44 (twelve years ago)

was in a station a few weeks back and all the ticket machines had crashed but friend needed to clear oyster card defecit to travel anywhere else. member of staff at kiosk meant this could be done quickly and easily and hard to see a good solution without one - just go to next station in the hope that their ticket machines were working? no mate

nashwan, Thursday, 21 November 2013 12:14 (twelve years ago)

gormless tourists

This being a substantial spanner in the works

Thomas K Amphong (Tom D.), Thursday, 21 November 2013 13:39 (twelve years ago)

Suggest basic training as part of passport control entry to uk: standing on the right on escalators, spatial awareness reminders if you're wearing a backpack etc

mohel hell (Bob Six), Thursday, 21 November 2013 13:47 (twelve years ago)

There's no avoiding them at Holborn. Ever. Standing two abreast on the escalator, stopping dead in front of the barriers as if they're about to jump through the looking-glass, dithering in transfers so that I narrowly miss my own connections, asking directions to the British Museum when it is one block to the west....

xp ARRRRGH RUCKSACKS ON FUCKSTICKS

hatcat marnell (suzy), Thursday, 21 November 2013 13:54 (twelve years ago)

haha you london types

conrad, Thursday, 21 November 2013 14:01 (twelve years ago)

Yeah I use Holborn daily and it's a nightmare, people crowding out the entrance to the platform in a huge group or due to baggage is another classic. Some days you see it and think "oh shit, obv major delays" then five metres to the right or left the platform is totally clear, once you've fought your way out.

Legitimate space tale (LocalGarda), Thursday, 21 November 2013 14:02 (twelve years ago)

Suggest basic training as part of passport control entry to uk: standing on the right on escalators, spatial awareness reminders if you're wearing a backpack etc

"don't just stop walking the minute you get on the platform as if there aren't hundreds of people behind you" is a pretty major one imho

http://i26.tinypic.com/2udyu5e.jpg (stevie), Thursday, 21 November 2013 14:09 (twelve years ago)

People stepping off an escalator and just standing there while dozens of people slam into the back of them.

fashionably early Christmas themed display name (snoball), Thursday, 21 November 2013 14:13 (twelve years ago)

Said this a million times but people who stop walking on the escalator when it goes flat... why? I just don't understand this widespread habit.

Legitimate space tale (LocalGarda), Thursday, 21 November 2013 14:15 (twelve years ago)

I can understand that people might want to step off the escalator with their dominant foot, especially on those escalators with the flat bit at the end, but why not learn to use your non-dominant foot?

fashionably early Christmas themed display name (snoball), Thursday, 21 November 2013 14:19 (twelve years ago)

Humans have bilateral symmetry, people, use it!

^^^ T shirt slogan for the taking there, to be sold in tourist shops on Oxford Street instead of those endless 'Keep Calm & Buy More Tourist Tat" things.

fashionably early Christmas themed display name (snoball), Thursday, 21 November 2013 14:20 (twelve years ago)

people stopping walking on the escalator as it starts to flatten generally happens because the people worry that they'll get the depth of the stair wrong as it narrows imo

thighs without a face (c sharp major), Thursday, 21 November 2013 14:24 (twelve years ago)

hence they dither

thighs without a face (c sharp major), Thursday, 21 November 2013 14:24 (twelve years ago)

I guess if someone is in heels or whatever, but I am sure men do this plenty too.

Also they kind of stop even after it's completely flat...

Legitimate space tale (LocalGarda), Thursday, 21 November 2013 14:27 (twelve years ago)

If I slow down near the top of the escalator, I always cut over to the right and join the folks in le standing.

hatcat marnell (suzy), Thursday, 21 November 2013 14:28 (twelve years ago)

mother of god

veneer timber (imago), Tuesday, 26 November 2013 19:35 (twelve years ago)

This is hilariously awful.

The announcements make it sound like the end times have happened somewhere past Clapham, now everyone's dead and only the robots are left to apologise for the inconvenience caused.

stet, Tuesday, 26 November 2013 20:25 (twelve years ago)

South East London is in full transport apocalypse, amazing I only missed 5mins of the football

veneer timber (imago), Tuesday, 26 November 2013 20:35 (twelve years ago)

what's going on then? surprised i haven't seen mention of it on twitter, maybe everybody's dead.

Merdeyeux, Tuesday, 26 November 2013 20:38 (twelve years ago)

NE was pretty bad as well, Hackney totally congested, took me 2hrs to travel 6 miles home

I like to think I have learnt a thing or two about music (Neil S), Tuesday, 26 November 2013 20:44 (twelve years ago)

There was a fire at London bridge signal house, which closed it. Then Victoria closed because of the crowds. Then Overground had a signal failure at Willesden. Only needed snow, tbh.

Some good pix of pissed-off London bridgers on twitter

stet, Tuesday, 26 November 2013 20:52 (twelve years ago)

It was actually only mildly worse than when I choose (rather than being forced) to take the Tube/bus home - i.e., letting multiple Northern Line trains go at CX or Kennington as they're packed. Bus from Brixton was pretty bad too.

Poor sods heading for Kent or Sussex didn't have the luxury of other options though.

Michael Jones, Tuesday, 26 November 2013 22:00 (twelve years ago)

one month passes...

http://usvsth3m.com/post/74285062011/you-wont-believe-why-the-victoria-line-is-currently

?!

caek, Thursday, 23 January 2014 17:28 (twelve years ago)

this must be a viral for something, right?

caek, Thursday, 23 January 2014 17:32 (twelve years ago)

well, if I need any fast-drying cement, that's definitely going to be my brand

the "Weird Al" Yankovic of country music (stevie), Thursday, 23 January 2014 17:33 (twelve years ago)

good grief

Pre-Madonna (Nasty, Brutish & Short), Thursday, 23 January 2014 18:47 (twelve years ago)

Please tell me this is a fucking joke. (I did wonder why the busses were insanely full tonight)

I'd rather be the swallow than a dick (Branwell Bell), Thursday, 23 January 2014 19:01 (twelve years ago)

at first i was outraged at this but actually it's kind of a touch to be able to attach my consequent absence to a ~news incident~

r|t|c, Thursday, 23 January 2014 21:25 (twelve years ago)

they dumped sugar into the mix, slowed the drying process

http://www.itv.com/news/london/2014-01-24/victoria-line-cement-leak-could-have-been-far-worse/

chinavision!, Friday, 24 January 2014 20:18 (twelve years ago)

48.
Ian Pratley
3 Hours ago

Most people do not buy tickets at the offices so close then
I have been made redundant twice
If it was up to the unions we still have stream trains

Report this comment (Comment number 48)

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random accies memories (Sgt. Biscuits), Wednesday, 5 February 2014 20:38 (twelve years ago)

Surprised that that guy failed to make himself indispensable.

UK Cop Humour (Bananaman Begins), Wednesday, 5 February 2014 21:10 (twelve years ago)

its like a three act play in one shitty internet comment

the "Weird Al" Yankovic of country music (stevie), Wednesday, 5 February 2014 22:56 (twelve years ago)

I can think of places in Devon which could do with "stream trains" right now.

Here he is with the classic "Poème Électronique." Good track (Marcello Carlin), Thursday, 6 February 2014 10:46 (twelve years ago)

We live in the 21st century this is why we introduced a new bus that took 2 people to operate rather than 1 amirite

^ 諷刺 (ken c), Thursday, 6 February 2014 11:51 (twelve years ago)

Moreover, one where the driver shouts at passengers for still getting on, looking at the destination window, not reading her mind and therefore not knowing that she was going to terminate the bus AT THIS STOP.

When the tube is down we rely on a coherent and enhanced (i.e. more buses) bus system to get us to and from work. Not a fleet of empty buses careering past packed bus stops saying "Not in Service" or randomly terminating services.

But, hey, the bus companies aren't in it for the passengers, they're in it for shareholder pension funds.

Here he is with the classic "Poème Électronique." Good track (Marcello Carlin), Thursday, 6 February 2014 12:04 (twelve years ago)

Can the 40m savings be achieved through encouraging more strikes and therefore wage savings?

^ 諷刺 (ken c), Thursday, 6 February 2014 12:22 (twelve years ago)

It was a bit much for the overground railway to fucking screw up yesterday as well

imago, Thursday, 6 February 2014 12:38 (twelve years ago)

Is the strike going on today, or no? I am p much pro-strike and pro-union but I do need to take busses today and need to know if I'll have to leave extra transport time?

"righteous indignation shit" (Branwell Bell), Thursday, 6 February 2014 12:42 (twelve years ago)

Yes, it's still going on.

Ramnaresh Samhain (ShariVari), Thursday, 6 February 2014 12:45 (twelve years ago)

Thanks! This wouldn't be so difficult if I weren't still hobbling about with a cane, but... needs must be.

"righteous indignation shit" (Branwell Bell), Thursday, 6 February 2014 12:47 (twelve years ago)

Victoria line running quite smoothly on its northern section both yesterday and today, BB, if that's any help.

the "Weird Al" Yankovic of country music (stevie), Thursday, 6 February 2014 12:55 (twelve years ago)

^^ bollocks was it unless by "northern section" you meant "everything but the northern section"

Just noise and screaming and no musical value at all. (Colonel Poo), Thursday, 6 February 2014 12:57 (twelve years ago)

Or unless "running quite smoothly" meant "closed"

Just noise and screaming and no musical value at all. (Colonel Poo), Thursday, 6 February 2014 12:58 (twelve years ago)


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