Blue Saturday

i'd be careful of being open enough to contact that you can even get asked questions like that which will only ever fuck with you, even if the entreaty itself was not unconscionable

oh i won't. the whole thing is fuckmared beyond belief by the fact she's still in no way over it & has been asking me why I made a commitment I couldn't keep. being friends is hard enough without this

think she's fucking with herself. she knows I've started dating other ppl. she needs to do the same I emphatically aver

yes

wait, didn't she move out like, only a month ago?

2 months m8

still -- i think saddling up again so soon is not going to lead to anything resembling competent horsemanship

everyone i'm going on a date with in the foreseeable future already has at least 1 extant & consenting partner. the way forward yo. 21st-century lj

i was referring to your ex

saddling up again will result in me crying quite a lot & possibly never speaking to her again

assumed you were just talking about riding horses

that does not change my post

i was referring to this:

she knows I've started dating other ppl. she needs to do the same I emphatically aver

Well that was shitty

yeah i think what yr ex needs is probably for yr ex to work out, given meditation time. as long as you're sympathetic but unyielding i don't see what else you can reasonably do - but i really really wouldn't offer advice to her.

on the other hand why the fuck wd i offer advice to anybody?

Gravity was v. good.

ach just found the mod request spin-off

it'll be ok, a couple of days of whining about being fed up at work shd drive everything off-screen

this post is in support of sarahell

^word

i hope that goes without saying, but i think peeps shd read the end of the mod request thread before elaborating elsewhere

i have no idea what is going on, but here it is a bright sunny sunday after days of pissy rain and i have just got back from the park and i'm cooking mushrooms and listening to dolphy and wish you all nothing but good things, peace out.

^like

It really is a beautiful day innit? Emerged blinking from party at 7am and was kinda thrown by how sunny it was. Dolphy and mushrooms = good shout.

two hour game of five a side, scored a belter but why bother tbh, sorry to read of drama lj

Imago do you do jazz? Can't recall seeing you post about it but I imagine you being well into the more ecstatic, spiritual hat stuff.

the uplands of Uganda where the Lord's Resistance Army hangs out, the disputed Spratly Islands, Transnistria, the Triple Frontier region in South America

The social separation reflected in the spectacle is inseparable from the modern state — that product of the social division of labor that is both the chief instrument of class rule and the concentrated expression of all social divisions.

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-rnh_CAdL0n8/UAfcSEJ42qI/AAAAAAAAAnc/qIniWoi-IqE/s1600/Dao_Phu_Lam_Hoang_Sa.jpg

http://www.guiageo-parana.com/imagens/iguacu-falls.jpg

When the Indians saw us they clustered together, after having talked among themselves, and each one of them took the one of us whom he claimed by the hand and they led us to their homes. While with those we suffered more from hunger than among any of the others. In the course of a whole day we did not eat more than two handfuls of the fruit, which was green and contained so much milky juice that our mouths were burnt by it. As water was very scarce, whoever ate of them became very thirsty. And we finally grew so hungry that we purchased two dogs, in exchange for nets and other things, and a hide with which I used to cover myself. I have said already that through all that country we went naked, and not being accustomed to it, like snakes we shed our skin twice a year. Exposure to the sun and air covered our chests and backs with big sores that made it very painful to carry the big and heavy loads, the ropes of which cut into the flesh of our arms.

http://www.chiefacoins.com/Database/Countries/Transnistria-Flag.png

another amazing day, blazing copper light and vivid shadows in the low sun, the sky blue and cirrusy, everything worshiping ancient nature gods except the resolute institutional architecture that's built to keep us safe from superstition and love

me daydreaming about a million silent gentle bombs that wd rip the fabric of the state to pieces so we could build something less miserable out of the debris

and wondering whether all utopias are built out of misanthropy

standing on paddington platform, listening to an old garage mix, partly considering mainly with tired indifference my work goals which apparently I need to focus on, but mainly thinking about the strange consistencies of the world: last week been refreshed and very sober for near a week and every thing had perceptible presence and heft, like those models of gravitational pull, where planets create dimples in an elastic universe, representative of the effect of their mass. the strong effect was of a too-real too-vivid illusion, with no interstices or spaces for interpretation.

on hungover or sprightly days those interpretative variances will be alight, the interference of material meaning recedes strongly into the background allowing full solipsistic play of the imagination.

and then there's days like this. of insufficient interpretative resources and sensory stupidity like I'm standing in front of a piece of art with which I'm completely unable to make headway.

oh, an electrical circuit's gone just outside paddington. delays. should've stayed in bed tbf.

garage is great for these days tho - the fragmented syllables of female/male vox, disembodied tocking and clacks, deep bass ground, synths appearing and receding, emotions of alien elation and longing etc.

ok we're on the move. work sux!

just a statist drone staring at collapsing synthetic dreams - weather here is that permadamp you get after several days of persistent light rain, soft grey lucent skies.

gonna build the new Jerusalem out of William Morris and UKG

and if we have to live furtively in the gaps forever well, at least we'll live

sign me up. comparing start of 20th and 21st Cs - the net of radio waves -void and disembodied voices.

you have been rereading C right

that's what i thought about doing yesterday

seem to do as much guerilla reading at work as i do when i finally get to sit down with a book of an evening

I haven't - but C/Kipling's Wireless were what I was thinking of. I like opening section of C as much as I've liked anything I've read in recent years. might revisit as am feeling possibly I undervalued the latter parts (post dogfight sections).

you're all making me want to read C quite a lot. and fizzles you're making me sad you didn't submit anything to the writing submissions thread

i still kick myself for not picking up a 50p copy of C in one of those Book Cellar shops a few years back. so many books tho.

alongside Mason & Dixon it was the most surprising thing i'd ever seen in a clearance shop

raise you a stuffed otter playing a violin

dude i can't compete with Connacht

If I had not
a place of profit that forces me to go to church said Inflammable
Gass. Id see the parsons all hangd a parcel of lying __ O said
Mrs Sisgtagatist if it was not for churches & chapels I should not
have livd so long _ there was I up in a Morning at four
o clock when I was a Girl. I would run like the dickins till
I was all in a heat, I would stand till I was ready to sink
into the earth, ah Mr Huffcap would kick the bottom of
the Pulpit out. with Passion. would tear off the sleeve of
his Gown, & set his wig on fire & throw it at the people
hed cry & stamp & kick & sweat and all for the good of
their souls, __ I m sure he must be a wicked villain said
Mrs Nannicantipot a passionate wretch. If I was a man Id wait
at the bottom of the pulpit stairs & knock him down & run
away. __ You would You Ignorant jade I wish I could see
you hit any of the ministers, you deserve to have your ears
boxed you do.

on reflection, to submit yourself to feeling half the unhappiness i've felt these last two years, well, you must have been very unhappy before. i get it now.

i've cried so much today that my eyes are closing involuntarily from sheer exhaustion

<3