why do i hate that artist thing that people keep posting on my facebook so much? why am i such a jerk?

that's not food

correct, goths are not food

http://scontent-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn2/q71/1395285_762887363727680_66762524_n.jpg

from getting a peppermint dye job at the salon

lol

i experimented with black nail polish in college one day. peppermint hair dye might have been cooler.

dying here, perhaps literally. Thank fuck I'm not at work

“If she's amazing, she won't be easy. If she's easy, she won't be amazing. If she's worth it, you wont give up. If you give up, you're not worthy. ... Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for.”

-Ayn Rand

"Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction"

-Ayn Rand

"'If you saw Atlas, the giant who holds the world on his shoulders, if you saw that he stood, blood running down his chest, his knees buckling, his arms trembling but still trying to hold the world aloft with the last of his strength, and the greater his effort the heavier the world bore down upon his shoulders - What would you tell him?'

'I…don't know. What…could he do? What would you tell him?'

'To shrug.'"

- Bob Marley

no atlas no shrug

http://dp9myinqgb4ck.cloudfront.net/04ea76a8c351b125585755b556c37bfdc65641.jpg

i cant stop laughing at this

LOL

i dont understand how did you get in this family

that's a photo of jesus fyi

Hjhhyruruhhrjrxjrrbbrr. Rr brbnhututjtjttnooknenenrnjrnr brjrjedjdjdjfjjfjfjtjf

That's Tomas de Torquemada, right?

Tuomas de Torquemada: "What is this Judaism thing? Can somebody explain it to me?"

Catholic Jew Mitt Romney, What's on Your iPod?

someone just linked to this from facebook, i dunno if it quite belongs in this thread but UGH at it anyway. http://9gag.com/gag/anYQEon?ref=fb.s

i want to respond to each one individually

good guy/bad guy movie would be pretty rad

qr-coded microwavables sounds like the future

when do you microwave something on high, let it stand and then microwave it some more on medium?

frozen lasagna, but i dunno maybe you don't let it stand any

No, you just rip off the plastic and go half-power.

Listen, I've been a frozen food king since I was 17.

It's funny that you'll still see instructions that say "Rotate dinner one-half turn. Resume cooking for another 1-2 minutes."

Is there anyone (besides my 64-year-old mother) who still uses a microwave that doesn't have a rotating platter?

me, because someone replaced my platter with one that doesn't match the rotator in my microwave, so it just sits there :(

I'm sorry to hear about your platter, but that just seems like an extraordinary circumstance.

it's true, i don't follow the rotation instructions anyway

still, a microwave that scans your food for you, that's gold

I hate it when I forget to check the watts on the instructions cause I have a crazy powerful microwave and the instructions are usually for units that have 200-300 less watts. Usually I'm all "pfft, yeah right burrito! I'm gonna heat you for 3 minutes!? More like... 2...."
YAAAAAAAAAA!

Microwaving food is not so difficult that we need QR CODES to make it work more efficiently.

I've never understood the secret codes you see on the inside of the door: POPCORN, CODE 1. SANDWICH, CODE 2. WARM APPLE CIDER, CODE 3. HOT APPLE CIDER, CODE 4.

How about SANDWICH, 30 SECONDS. If that doesn't work, then SANWICH, ANOTHER 30 SECONDS.

Anyway. Maybe I need to get my gameboy out after reading that.

http://24.media.tumblr.com/ca7f46a31c1e2d3d5464af5ff90dcf92/tumblr_mw16wkAe8z1sustufo1_500.jpg

All I can see in that picture is rainbow-coloured maggots

I've thought of the two car horns one. Like when you're behind someone who doesn't notice the light's turned green, you can give them a pleasant "ding" instead of the agressive blast.

I suggested that to my wife when I learned to drive last year. It's annoying when you beep someone who's crossing the road in front of you without looking, so as not to kill them, and they give you the finger because to them the car horn always means "fuck you, idiot". I need sonic emoticons.

I'd also like one you can use when you're in a traffic jam that means: "I know the person in front of me has no power to move but I'm just letting off steam."

You guys need to learn better horn control. It's perfectly possible to give a tight, staccato beep that doesn't sound too aggressive.

you mean "emotihorns" xp

Hurting's got it. Boats and trains have been doing this for years.

Just don't do it too good. I was backing out of a tight space between two F-19000 Dodge 4x4 trucks and couldn't quite see the lane behind me. A somewhat friendly driver was pulling up out of my line of sight and tried to alert me by hitting the horn in that staccato beep.

Only thing was that her timing on the beat was nearly too perfect, and I kept going because I just thought it was a car alarm going off somewhere in the lot.

in fairness that also seems like an extraordinary circumstance

Just don't beep your horn unless it's an emergency! Some of us are trying to sleep...

You guys need to learn better horn control. It's perfectly possible to give a tight, staccato beep that doesn't sound too aggressive.

i find that a little beep!beep! is not difficult at all. some people just lay on it? savages!

can i get a beep! beep!?

Beep beep
Who walked in front of my jeep?

Speaking of, the other night I was coming home, going down a residential, poorly lit street that allows parking on both sides. There was a cab stopped alongside a bunch of parked cars, and the passenger flung the door open and stepped out of the cab on the street side instead of the curb side. I gave a quick, short "Beep!" to let her know PLEASE NOT TO WALK INTO TRAFFIC PLEASE AND ALSO THE CAB DOOR and she immediately flipped me off and started yelling obscenities. Like I'm the one who doesn't know to exit a cab on the goddamned curb side.

flipping people off is almost instinctive now. I've seen people run folks out of their lanes in traffic due to not looking, then flipping off the person they ran out of their lane. it's like "you're making me feel bad by honking, and I don't like feeling bad, so FUCK YOU"

the fuck?

http://img62.imageshack.us/img62/9441/w4gi.jpg

never apologize for anythingn

maybe if that plate had told me I looked pretty every once in a while this wouldn'tve happened