why do i hate that artist thing that people keep posting on my facebook so much? why am i such a jerk?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ISLeHByD-I

real men, earlier today

This one got sent around my workplace about five years ago.

I got as far as "gents, pass this onto any women you know", because, obv, women can't work computers, etc.

Funny thing is, if you refute these things to the person who passed it onto you, they can get rather sulky..

My opening reply started: "It's always a good idea to lock your car when going to pay, people nick things. But..." and so on.

Besides which, its much harder than that to join the Hartley Wintney massive.

My favourite is probably the attempted kidnap/gang initiation story, how the guy is all o hai i was going to kidnap this woman so me and the rest of the SE20 Cut Dem Up Crew could gang rape her kthxbai

Snopes has line-by-line refutations of most of those line-by-line things (e.g. Ted Bundy didn't walk with a cane, throwing yr handbag away is rubbish thing to do, etc)

I guess one day a baby is going to die of exposure on someones doorstep because of this stuff

Or, at the very least, not get a free tape player.

my favorite is the stock pic of a baby on life support with scary block text that says IF THIS BABY GETS 1,000 LIKES, HIS HEART SURGERY IS FREE.

"Sorry, he had a good run, but we're locked in at 985 here. Pull the plug."

http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/mst3k/images/1/12/Crowsolo.jpg

IF THIS PUPPET GET 1,000 LIKES, HE GETS TO DECIDE WHO LIVES AND WHO DIES

https://www.facebook.com/pages/MY-SISTER-SAID-IF-I-GET-ONE-MILLION-FANS-SHE-WILL-NAME-HER-BABY-MEGATRON/333067975442

hit the million mark in 13 days. he was born 8/3/2010, named dylan. we're all very upset it wasn't Megatron, but thank you all for the support.

If one million people permanently delete their Facebook accounts, I will name my baby Megatron.

wow that sister is such a bullshit asshole liar everyone shd call the kid megatron anyway

Like this post or Megatron will enslave you and steal your power cubes

http://sportsrants.com/sportsinmyveins/files/2012/08/megatron.jpg

if this post gets 1 million fps i will turn into a handgun

hahaha

I URGE ALL MY FRIENDS TO READ & SHARE THIS; YOU COULD SAVE A LOVED ONES LIFE BY KNOWING THIS SIMPLE INFORMATION!!! Stroke has a new indicator! They say if you forward this to ten people, you stand a chance of saving one life. Will you send this along?

[bizarre anecdote about a woman having a stroke at a bbq and dying]

[reasonable advice on 'stroke indicators']

A cardiologist says if everyone who gets this e-mail sends it to 10 people; you can bet that at least one life will be saved. I have done my part. Will you?

if misusing semicolons is 'doing my part', then no

OMFG PEOPLE

http://img19.imageshack.us/img19/7799/02of.jpg

THE LYRIC IS "I BLESS THE RAINS', ERGO RENDERING YOUR JOKE UNFUNNY AND STUPID. STOP SHARING THIS GIF.

I don't care if it sounds like I'm on Lukather's dick, UNFUNNY IS UNFUNNY

lol

good to know it's "bless." you know, down there in africa.

https://scontent-b-iad.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-frc3/1381825_10202125912170499_1198647045_n.jpg

hey, we've all walked past the mental hospital the other day

those lunatics are suspiciously organized, doesnt bode well for the future of this great nation

you don't have to be crazy to work here, but it sure helps.

http://i.snag.gy/A3Xym.jpg

Haha!

I always thought it was "I guess the rain's down in Africa."

I guess it rains down in Africa? I mean, I dunno.

Not that I ever thought it out, but my impression was that there was some guy in England pondering the drought and he's like, I guess the rain's down in Africa. Also, something about My Fair Lady.

https://fbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/74420_433372790081826_639080661_n.jpg

Acquaintance just posted this. At least put some effort into it...

you all share one poorly formed heart

TS will.x vs will.i.am

gonna start one about "if you're in favour of child abuse", see how it takes off

Re-post this if you're against children.

if I said you had a beautiful child

NOBODY FINISH THAT SENTENCE

http://i.imgur.com/vGRr2.jpg

NV you are killing me on Facebook

thanks for sharing

Sorry if this phenomena has been covered (11000 posts wtf) but after the app has been around for a good while, many of my friends have finally discovered bit strips and now the feed is full of them.

http://rack.0.mshcdn.com/media/ZgkyMDEzLzEwLzIzLzkyL05lcmRNYXNoYWJsLmZlNzNhLnBuZwpwCXRodW1iCTEyMDB4OTYwMD4/5ed42036/ec2/Nerd-Mashable.png

I kinda hate that everybody identifies as a 'nerd' these days, even if their only claim is they saw three of four episodes of Small Wonder in the 80s and still remember the robot's name is Vicki. WHOOP-DE-FUCKIN-DOO

Gen. Douglas MacArthur was such a nerd.

is "Japan" a symbol for something?

Did the Oatmeal do a comic about him or something? xp

What if I did not recognise all those? But spelled 'recognise' right?

recognize is equally correct. theoretically, "recognize" is more correct iirc

"right" xp

Oxford spelling can be recognized by its use of the suffix ‑ize instead of -ise: organization, privatize and recognizable instead of organisation, privatise and recognisable. The spelling affects about 200 verbs, and is favoured on etymological grounds, in that -ize corresponds more closely to the Greek root, -izo, of most -ize verbs.[3] The suffix -ize has been in use in the UK since the 15th century,[4] and is the spelling variation used in American English. The belief that -ize is an exclusively American variant is incorrect.[5][4] The OED lists the -ise form of words separately, as "a frequent spelling of -IZE...". The OED explains its use of -ize as follows:

[I]n mod.F. the suffix has become -iser, alike in words from Greek, as baptiser, évangéliser, organiser, and those formed after them from L., as civiliser, cicatriser, humaniser. Hence, some have used the spelling -ise in Eng., as in French, for all these words, and some prefer -ise in words formed in French or Eng. from L. elements, retaining -ize for those of Gr. composition. But the suffix itself, whatever the element to which it is added, is in its origin the Gr. -ιζειν, L. -izāre; and, as the pronunciation is also with z, there is no reason why in English the special French spelling should be followed, in opposition to that which is at once etymological and phonetic. In this Dictionary the termination is uniformly written -ize. (In the Gr. -ιζ-, the i was short, so originally in L., but the double consonant z (= dz, ts) made the syllable long; when the z became a simple consonant, (-idz) became īz, whence Eng. (-aɪz).)

The use of -ize instead of -ise does not affect the spelling of words in British English that end in -yse, such as analyse, paralyse and catalyse, which come from the Greek verb λύω, lyo, not from an -izo verb.