Does the entire Innocent Smoothies aesthetic strike you as deeply fucking irritating?

xp smdh at your CEO, Garda

it obv caused a massive outcry. it's prob written for him by someone else, who is prob paid really well to do this. just defies belief.

THE TYRRELLS ALTERNATIVE FIVE-A-DAY

Steamed broccoli, herbal tea, sit-ups: nothing terribly wrong with any of those (in moderation). But there is such a thing as taking it too far, you know.

Which is why we came up with our own lifestyle guide, an alternative five-a-day. It's a simple list of things to keep your spirits up. Well, it works for us!

A portion of chips in newspaper
A swig of squash
A fairground ride on the pier
A stick of rock
A big bowl of proper English crisps

[picture of old lady holding up placard which reads as follows:]

NOTHING ARTIFICIAL
No funny stuff whatsoever.

GLUTEN FREE
Just in case you were wondering.

VEGAN FRIENDLY
Free from animals.

my local shop for unpopular/discontinued brands is selling Glacéau vitamin water for 39p a bottle at the moment. good work everyone

http://www.businessinsider.com/tesco-mobiles-twitter-account-is-genius-2013-10?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+businessinsider+(Business+Insider)

Tesco Mobile taking off the kid gloves.

that's kinda funny tbh

is Richard Feloni made up like the two "trolls" in this bullshit?

sarah it'd be funny if the mystery tweeters weren't mysteriously aping slogans from Tesco mobile's current ad campaign.

oh well, it sucks then

digging into those two Twitters makes me less sure they're socks, but more confused as to who gives 1 fuck what mobile phone network people use

Tesco should draft some former ilxors in as zing consultants.

U all may have noticed the theme tune to old children's program 'Rainbow' used recently on Tesco TV adverts

who gives a fuck about this

― blueski, Friday, July 18, 2008 9:18 AM (5 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

the dawn of 'snarkvertising'. looking forward to that.

'adverti-zing'

you've made your best joke

the future looks bleak

fuck a "Happy Egg Company" and their simpering advertising voice-over

http://www.adweek.com/adfreak/why-tesco-mobiles-hilarious-twitter-feed-actually-no-joke-153496

I'm sorry to keep going on about this, but I find it kind of fascinating, to be honest. Do 'real people' actually like this sort of stuff, or just people who work in social media? That Adweek article is written in the same kind of wacky/chummy style as all of these brand twitter accounts ('we were able to meet the brainiacs' etc), but over 11,000 retweets indicates the appeal must go further, I suppose? And apparently Tesco being amusingly downmarket is a 'thing' amongst young people? (like school kids taking the piss out of their classmates for wearing own brand sports wear rather than Nike or whatever?)

Surely it's only a matter of time before a brand twitter account accidentally goes too far in zinging another twitter user and causes massive offence?

over 11,000 retweets indicates the appeal must go further, I suppose

people buy this sort of service

"The #nojoke campaign was launched to change perceptions about Tesco Mobile—to show the British public that there's really nothing funny about Tesco Mobile. By creating content that's authentic to the brand and consumer, we're creating a story people want to engage with. That's true brand advocacy."

content that's authentic to the brand and consumer in this case more or less = being a cunt to them. At least the guy understands his client!

http://www.youtube.com/user/innocentdrinksltd

vimeo newsletter:

"Dear insatiable souls,

We think things should always be better. Each day we contend with societal conventions, family obligations, and other assorted whatnot that try to limit what we can accomplish here at the Rainbow Factory, but we’re constantly working and thinking and prancing (we’re unicorns, remember?) together to improve every little ounce of Vimeo.

That was a warm and fuzzy pair of blanket statements. Now let’s get into the cold, hard, specific, life-altering improvements: "

i stopped reading there, was something about more storage.

Oh god.

I feel really dirty. Have just coded a placeholder for when an external data provider's feed is unavailable on one of workplace's websites with a big "Ooops!" message (as per the design requirements, I hasten to add).

so you should

https://ssl.sk-static.com/errors/503.gif

^^^ LAME.

http://bloximages.chicago2.vip.townnews.com/nwitimes.com/content/tncms/assets/v3/editorial/d/2f/d2f0e617-60c2-5355-9cd0-ce0841acbc59/5165cd3722476.preview-620.jpg

I don't get the knitting hats for bottles of fruit juice thing.

is one supposed to reuse the knitted hats for each successive bottle or do you toss the hat when you finish the bottle?

https://scontent-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/1472989_10153540860410287_682910837_n.jpg

not sure if Phones 4U tweeting a photo of Neil Hamburger in the course of brand-building social media inanity is an attempt to get him to hurl abuse at them or just a coincidence. on balance I imagine the latter

Big ole dang ole news from Bandcamp

Greetings discozhivago!

We know it's been a while since we rapped at ya, but Bandcamp's inexorable march towards music industry panacea continues! To wit:

(...and then some stuff about an Android app and a music feed etc...)

Bandcamp, you were doing so well!

https://abs.twimg.com/errors/robot.png

"Yippee! We have a brand new sparkly website!"

STFU Maplin, you used to be so much better when you actually sold stuff I wanted to buy. Instead of now, where you're trying to be an Argos for electronics. Except there already is an Argos for electronics. It's called Argos. Pricks.

Also WTH is my order? First it was in stock, then out of stock, then back in stock, then you sent me a credit note (or at least it looks like a credit not because there is no explanation as to what it's for other than it's the same amount as the item), then you send me an e-mail saying the item's been dispatched, but today the order history of your BS fisher Price optimised-for-people-with-tablets website says that the item is out of stock again. I mean, is it actually like Hi-De-Hi down in your offices?

That hamburger bed one is very

http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20101120195047/simpsons/images/9/99/Racecar.png

LOL Maplin.

tbf their brick & mortar stores are pretty good, if slightly hamstrung by the Argos-for-electronics restriction. Oh but wait, they've recently started referring to their staff as 'Maplineers', which is kind of dangerously close to Craplineers so -1 to the marketing team that came up with that.
http://maplineers.maplin.co.uk/
Kind of reminds me of a 3rd party IT support company I used to work for where the management brought in professional models to appear in the brochures instead of using actual real live technicians.

http://maplineers.maplin.co.uk/assets//P8-Promo-Tweet-Us-Generic.jpg
Challenge: stop looking like a tit.

xp actually there was one photo where a member of the sales team and one of the technicians managed to sneak in, but it was so badly shot and resultant photo so small in the final brochure that it looked like Ming the Merciless having an earnest conversation with a giant potato. If they both got their clobber from Burtons.

Got a maplin round the corner from us and have to say it's saved my life a couple of times with fuses and batteries and whatnot

They do a good line in cheap but reasonable quality mobile DJ gear. I sometimes get the same kind of almost sexual thrill there that Morrissey claimed he got from going into Ryman's.

is this an ilxor? http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2013/nov/24/cutesification-of-everything-elf-twitter-funny

saw that earlier and sort of flinched, like i couldn't read a comment is free maven covering such a timeworn ilx topic

Stuart Heritage

it's all over, we have to start defending this stuff now

the difficulty is that he is probably going to be really animated about it and it would be intolerable to see someone getting unduly upset about this lamentable but not world-defining thing in the pages of the august manchester guardian

self-winking "i like Playstations and pizza what am i like?" bit used to make the piece a bit less stern and parental

He starts a campaign to get everyone to watch Elf at the same time and then complains about people talking about 'sleeps'.