itt blogs instruct you how to be a man

That’s the worst line you can say, you will not expect her to say, “Yea, cause you are the bomb.”

She’ll send you some random text messages to you. Well, clearly she does show some interest, if you did not ask her out, she’s not going to text you anymore. DO NOT text her why she is sending you those type of messages. By doing so, she will assume you aren’t smart enough to figure that out. Girls like psychic men remember?

dude reading that takes 'girls like psychic men' literally; begins a rigorous mental training regimen to develop latent extra-sensory abilities

I keep hearing this in my head like some ominous poetry

Girls, like psychic men, remember.

honestly that page just reads to me more like a pure expression of teen fuckwant than anything else

Yea, verily thou art the bomb

“I have a feeling that you won’t do it, but do you want to walk outside and to my apartment now? I wanna show you something.” Sometimes they’ll still tease you like, “Oh like what?” Just grab her hand and say, “Comon, I’ll show you.”

^good ending to a new yorker short story imo

It's not that I didn't think that was written by Intense Teenager, it's just that something about the breathless objectification struck me as similar to the thinking behind these life coach sex pest guys. I suppose it's something to do with the combination of 'Eureka! Women only fuck good looking guys!' zazen stuff the barely suppressed passive agression directed towards those who do not surrender what the PUA has earned.

sorry to quote at length, but...i'm going to quote at length:

http://meetinggirlsonmetro.com/blog1/2013/08/01/the-douchebags-guide-to-getting-laid/

Any douche can get laid. All you need to do is follow these simple rules.

Shirts: As a douche, your shirt is the first way to tell women you are trawling for vag and not here to discuss My Little House on the Prairie. It needs to be loud. It needs to look expensive. She needs to see that shirt and say “God, I want to fuck that shirt.”

Why?: Showing a predilection for material goods develops a subconscious connection. She now thinks you can relate to aspects of her life.

Collar: Does the shirt have a collar? Pop it. Yes. I’m serious. Don’t care about your opinion on the matter.

Why?: A popped collar shows disdain for societal norms. And that’s how I am in the sack, baby. My popped collar says we won’t be starting or finishing in missionary.

Hair: Product, dude. Gotta have the product. Doesn’t really matter what. Use gel or sculpting paste or pomade if you truly are an asshole. Douchebags must show they care about their hair.

Why?: Shimmering, chemical-based coifs work as a lighthouse to attract women from afar. Perhaps even across the Pacific. Asian FTW.

Yelling: Yell a lot. When you are in a cab. When you are processing down the aisle with a bridesmaid. At the supermarket. You are the most important person here and you need to display that.

Why?: Evolution, my brah. Women are still turned on by the strong vocal chords of the howler monkeys we evolved from. (Ever taken a girl to the primate house at the zoo? Hoo baby.)

Drinks: Bud Light Platinum. Were you seriously considering something else on the night you were trying to be a douchebag?

Why?: No woman can resist a man slugging BL Nums.

Honesty: Are you just here to get some trim, dawg? Let that be known the moment you meet every girl. “Me? I’m tryna get my dick sucked. Are we doing lemon drops or Jager bombs?”

Why?: Women love honesty.

Lastly, Don’t Ever Doubt Yourself: Would a true douchebag waffle about hitting the dance floor? Say “Ehh… I don’t know. I’m not that good.” No, he’d rip off the snap pants he was wearing (I forgot to tell you to wear snap pants) to reveal his sexy dancing briefs (you are wearing sexy dancing briefs, right?). Any hesitation shows you are not a true douche.

Why?: Authority. By showing how much you lord over everything (dance floor, alcohol, your alcohol tolerance, chumps trying to start shit) you show yourself to be an actual lord. Kings were the original douchebags and women will be attracted to you for access to land and water. Hey, it’s my fault we live in a Magna Carta-based society. Use it to your advantage.

*scribbles down notes*

(btw ilx user z s, i got a couple of spammy direct messages from your twitter account earlier tonight...)

feel like that's not the best advice tbh

not a lot of good instruction itt

lots of missing the point

i would take a lot of the advice itt with a grain of salt. make that a tablespoon of salt.

"BL Nums"

Xpost to merdeyeux: yeah, goole and Silby alerted me to it early, sorry! I changed my password.

over 13,290 people

http://www.dissentmagazine.org/article/cockblocked-by-redistribution

Highly entertaining.

roosh responds:

https://twitter.com/rooshv/status/385160910253203456

(WYF = "would you fornicate")

How empowering of them to let people stand up and say, no, I do not want to have sex with every woman

http://i.imgur.com/aMEZemO.png

Daryush The Lizardy

http://www.gilt.com/giltmanual/2013/10/man-cave-furniture-and-accents/

"kit out", eh?

Cover the Floors with the Skins of Beasts

roosh v has a masculinity manifesto for u: http://www.returnofkings.com/about

j/o motion & rmde forever

From that Return of Kings (arf) website: "Women and homosexuals are prohibited from commenting here. They will be immediately banned.”. Return of Cry-Babies more like.

I just got this in my inbox (good timing considering it's "International Men's Day" today, HAPPY IMD, EVERYONE!!!):

http://24.media.tumblr.com/e6f3ac4f77ba0bcf12825b33600684ce/tumblr_mwiz53UM0B1qzigb4o1_500.jpg

lessons in manliness

-ripping off bandaids without crying
-opening pickle jars

a show to call his very own!

i couldn't open a jar of olives last night, took a can opener to the lid and bent the shit out of it tho, popped right off, manliness secure

mind blown

http://img823.imageshack.us/img823/9620/i5pe.jpg

As she lay dying in the smouldering wreckage around her, she knew she could die at peace knowing that her boyfriend gave that kiss the attention it deserved

http://img513.imageshack.us/img513/9325/i4t4.jpg

i couldn't open a jar of olives last night, took a can opener to the lid and bent the shit out of it tho, popped right off, manliness secure

― j., Tuesday, November 19, 2013 7:48 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

when i realized i could use can openers to help with difficult jars my manliness trebled overnight.

not if it 'trebled'

lol

Just use a spoon to break the seal...

sabre or gtfo

Or break the jar on your forehead

tbh i grabbed the jar by the neck and shattered it

then i had a barfight with myself

it was vicious

B+

slap bottom of the jar w/ the palm of your hand = it works!

'have strong forearms' always my first strategy, works most of the time
*shows u how to be a man itt*

http://progolferdigest.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/10/gripit.jpg

http://www.artofmanliness.com/2013/12/05/how-to-escape-a-sinking-car-an-illustrated-guide/

http://i.imgur.com/y5DRLWi.jpg

i can't go to work today, i have to mentally rehearse escaping from my sinking car.