why do i hate that artist thing that people keep posting on my facebook so much? why am i such a jerk?

please tell me it says "become a famous celebrity"

Want to cut a watermelon open without a knife? Take a quarter, make a small incision, and karate chop it in half. It seriously works!

I'm not saying that works or it's smart, but at least it's literally a hack.

xp: Close!

1. Buy an upgrade
2. Volunteer to be bumped
3. Fly frequently
4. Fly alone
5. Smile!

^^^ cool hacks, never would have occurred to me

They missed

6. hijack a plane

"geez, if only I could figure out a way to fly first class"
"have you considered buying an upgrade?"
"WOAH DUDE, AWESOME HACK" *high-five*

Life Hacks ‏@omglifehacks 17 Aug
How to get backstage at concerts and pretty much ANYWHERE: Wear a nice suit and walk quickly. People won't question you.

That's him, lower right.

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_meo7o6PwG61rgqc4go1_1280.jpg

omg

kinda takes the "culture" out of "subculture"

can we poll that photo

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lou14eXQrC1qicm8vo1_500.jpg

spot the parents

Wear a nice suit and walk quickly. People won't question you

please remember to be a white cis male when attempting this cool hack

my wife had an argument several years ago with a racist MIT undergrad who was temping for her where this girl actually claimed you could always spot really ghetto black people because they spent all of their money on nice clothes

my wife declined to renew the temp's contract IIRC, hopefully teaching this young woman the critical lesson that telling your boss she must be ghetto because she has on nice clothes is not a good career move

wait, how do you spot wealthy middle class black people then?

polo shirts and khakis, same as everyone else

this system is flawed

omigod I know where that brony meet-up picture was taken. I've played that Xybots machine.

guys this is... obviously a joke twitter account??

Would you bet your life on it?

I mean, the food kit. the ghetto air conditioner. the buzzfeedy "15 ways you can get free pizza" links.

bless you vegemite, but ffs.

http://24.media.tumblr.com/af4884b44bcec02fa60429f95afe42e8/tumblr_mrqsw5sIDy1srsdr2o1_500.jpg

There is everything right with coffee cubes.

Like drinking beer through a straw, which btw is also on there.

What non-existent problem is that supposed to solve?

Coffee ice cubes? They keep your iced coffee cold without watering it down. I don't know what the fuck drinking beer through a straw is supposed to do, but in high school some people said it got you drunk faster.

how to get beer inside your mouth without tipping your head.

no, actually it's part of a bigger picture:

http://31.media.tumblr.com/2aff87d237e94912e786832f7585c0a0/tumblr_mrrnzheuIt1scdx9go1_500.jpg

I liked #lifehacks back in high school, before they were even a thing - back then we called them Hints From Heloise, and I read them ravenously.

NB, I am in no way defending the shit reposted in this thread.

if you guys like these you should check out pinterest, it's full of terrible hacks

lol @ hints from heloise

http://i.imgur.com/IxYVjOv.png

'ints from 'eloise guvnor inni'

1. that's not grilled cheese, that's cheese toast
2. that's why your oven has a broiler

I don't know why these piss me off, but they just do.

http://i.imgur.com/HhHKsxc.jpg

As if a person reading that chart would ever leave the house.

what the

how

why would you

i mean

in a world where this http://gamescene.com/The_Urinal_Game.html exists nothing surprises me

Hints from Heloise was the real deal, though! Get an ink stain out with hairspray! Get burnt on grime off the bottom of a pan by soaking it overnight with a paste of baking soda and water!

Not dumb shit like put a beer can in a McDonald's cup because you can't interact with the outside world without an alcoholic beverage close to hand at all times.

At least 75% of my housekeeping approach is born of Heloise. Get candle wax out of a rug by putting a paper bag on top of the wax stain and ironing it with a warm iron. COME ON that's brilliant.

Also Elmo OTM. Pinterest is like ground zero for this garbage. If you really want to feel the fury, look at their "kids" category.

that urinal game at least has a more complex topology than the tables where you have two choices (inside seat or outside seat)

Heloise nurtured in me a sense of ingenuity in handling even the most mundane problems. Without her, who knows if I ever would have boiled my undershirts?!

(she said to boil them with lemons, but I let them boil too long and the lemon rinds disintegrated and god what a sloppy mess)

that toaster thing looks like it could start a fire.

One could only hope.

ppl need their toaster privileges revoked if they are fucking with that kind of bullshit

also: get your stupid fucking cheese out of my fucking toaster

*hugs toaster*

put two pieces of bread in a pan w cheese in between
get grilled cheese

*hugs toaster*

<Screams, drops toaster, run to sink to run cold water on burned arms.>

When I was in college a friend was living in this weird-ass house that was owned by an old couple and all their stuff was still there; I remember being super baked and spending like an hour reading this book and thinking that I had found a brilliant guide to all of life's problems:
http://www.plantingdandelions.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/6895928976_a54eea0576.jpg

Hint #1: Get lots of cocaine.